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Fuckerty fuckery Fuck. Be warned this thread contains shite

(82 Posts)
Pumpernickel10 Fri 17-Jun-11 22:05:30

AIBU to be pissed at myself that we have 1/4 of a roll of toilet paper( did shopping today and forgot bog paper)
what shall I do if we run out before tomorrow.

TakeMeDrunkImHome Fri 17-Jun-11 22:05:59

Kitchen roll/newspaper/cat?

itisnearlysummer Fri 17-Jun-11 22:06:02

Newspaper?

itisnearlysummer Fri 17-Jun-11 22:06:24

rag on a stick.

Pumpernickel10 Fri 17-Jun-11 22:06:28

And DH does a massive dump in the morning so I'm very concerned

Marne Fri 17-Jun-11 22:06:38

lol, wet wipes? kitchen roll?

Beamur Fri 17-Jun-11 22:06:48

Bidet.

EricNorthmansMistress Fri 17-Jun-11 22:06:55

water. Do like the muslims do. It's really fine smile

Marne Fri 17-Jun-11 22:07:17

Pop next door?

Pumpernickel10 Fri 17-Jun-11 22:07:24

My wedding dress? shock

Tillyscoutsmum Fri 17-Jun-11 22:08:21

Tissues ? Kitchen roll ? Wet wipes ? An old muslin ?. A friendly neighbour ? (not to actually wipe your arses on obviously. Just to borrow a loo roll from)

ComeWhineWithMe Fri 17-Jun-11 22:08:50

Babywipes or I can tell you my luxury babywipe recipe.
Use an old tupperwear box put in folded flannels or an old towel cut into squares, pour over hot water or cammomile tea if you have some and squirt in some baby bath or shampoo.
Luxury loo wipes.

ComeWhineWithMe Fri 17-Jun-11 22:09:12

Dock leaf?

FabbyChic Fri 17-Jun-11 22:09:12

Lots of shops still open send the DH out for some

PelvicFloor0fSteel Fri 17-Jun-11 22:09:31

I know this doesn't help you at all but I realised that I am actually a bit OCD about not running out of loo roll, there were about 30 rolls in the house when this occurred to me grin. If you can find a courier maybe I could send some over?

ZXEightyMum Fri 17-Jun-11 22:09:41

Do you have printer paper? Don't waste it though. Print out the comments section of a Daily Mail article and it will be a very satisfying experience.

GreenTeapot Fri 17-Jun-11 22:09:52

Do you have kids? If so, how old are your kids? Tissue, wet wipes, panty liners, make up removing pads?

<ingenious>

kangers Fri 17-Jun-11 22:10:04

How about Not wiping- there's a novelty- just involves moe washing powder or higher machine temperature...
6 of one

K999 Fri 17-Jun-11 22:10:43

Flannels would block my bog...don't fancy calling a plumber to fish out shitty flannels tbh grin

Pumpernickel10 Fri 17-Jun-11 22:10:45

The shop near us is closed now
Dock leaf it is then

3littlefrogs Fri 17-Jun-11 22:10:48

Don't put kitchen roll down the loo - it will block.

Can you just go all "continental" and use a jug of water and soap? (Or a bidet even?)

Pumpernickel10 Fri 17-Jun-11 22:11:32

999 boak

ZXEightyMum Fri 17-Jun-11 22:11:45

My lovely neighbours send their children over almost every evening with various requests, the most memorable being, "got 'nee bog roll?"

GooGooGadget Fri 17-Jun-11 22:11:57

I can't believe you think you are going to run out? We are obv tidy pooers in this house.

K999 Fri 17-Jun-11 22:11:58

Just use your hands. One for front and one for back....then wash obviously... grin

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