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To wonder why some people get freaked out when I start loosing wieght?

(28 Posts)
toptramp Fri 17-Jun-11 18:28:14

I have wanted to slim down for ages and i am following a sensible diet and excersising a lot more. It is showing and I am delighted. I have never been this toned before.
Most of my friends are very supportive but one or two are being a bit wierd. One friend keeps suggesting that I eat cake when at hers; then offers me a bigger slice. I am invited over for a spaghetti meal when they know I'm on a diet. Am I a threat? Are they trying to fatten me up? Why do I find it so hard to explain to them that I just don't eat certain foods atm?

WineAndPizza Fri 17-Jun-11 18:30:15

Is it maybe a jealousy thing? Are they overweight?

BunnyLebowski Fri 17-Jun-11 18:33:17

Sounds like attempts to sabotage your weight loss probably spurred on by their own insecurities and weight issues?

T'is very common. And horribly unsupportive and bitchy.

Well done on the loss and keep it up!

alienbump Fri 17-Jun-11 18:35:11

Are you overweight at the moment?

MissVerinder Fri 17-Jun-11 18:36:14

Jealousy=attempts at sabotage!

Nuttychic Fri 17-Jun-11 18:38:44

Could it be that in the past you may have wanted the bigger slice and they are just giving you your (previous) normal portions?

HerHissyness Fri 17-Jun-11 18:39:00

Sadly this does happen. you may be larger or have been larger than them, and you losing weight means that THEY are the fat bird on the beach IYKWIM. grin

Anyone that does this to you does not have your best interests at heart, place them on an internal caution and don't let them sabotage your plans.

BTW, you can go over for the spaghetti meal, but only eat the meat! the pasta is all carbs....

Wait til someone cuts you a big slice, then when they cut theirs smaller, say, ooh, that's more my size, I'll swap and boldly do it, if they argue with you say, that's all you need, this one is too big for you.

Or say, no thanks I don't want any cake.

TakeMeDrunkImHome Fri 17-Jun-11 18:40:20

Diet sabotage. Happens to me all the time. It's either jealousy or insecurity, some people don't like their previously porky pal becoming slim.

Al0uiseG Fri 17-Jun-11 18:40:32

Ts definitely jealousy. I lost over two stone a couple of years ago, the first stone was fine, the second one led to hideous comments about me being too scrawny. I definitely wasn't, my bmi was 22 and I was comfortably wearing size 8 trousers and size 10 tops and dresses. Stupidly I got complacent and put most of it back on over the course of a year but I'm back on track now and absolutely delighting in turning down the things I don't want to eat.

Keep it up and don't let their petty jealousies get you down, focus on the myriad of compliments you'll be getting from other people instead.

HowToLookGoodGlaikit Fri 17-Jun-11 18:41:46

A "spaghetti meal" doesnt have to be sabotage - on some diets its perfectly fine! maybe they dont know the ins & outs of your particular diet.

ggirl Fri 17-Jun-11 18:43:31



sorry couldn't help myself

toptramp Fri 17-Jun-11 18:46:00

I'm a size 14 which I love but I am becoming slimmer and toned. I'm aiming for toned rather than skinny. My friend is georgeous and a nice normal size ; my size but she has always been the beautiful one. I am quietly pleased that she is being like this tbh (bitch emoticon) because it means that the diet is working!

TheCrackFox Fri 17-Jun-11 18:47:11

She is jealous.

WhereYouLeftIt Fri 17-Jun-11 18:49:32

Surely spaghetti isn't necessarily fattening (depending on the sauce)? But the cake-shoveller does sound as if she'd like to keep you fuller-figured.

toptramp Fri 17-Jun-11 18:55:04

She gave me a large piece of cheese to take home the other day which is fine with me as it's no carbs! Funny thing is she pigs out with me! It's funny but she is so sodding insecure and competetive. It's tiring.

ItsNotRocketSurgery Fri 17-Jun-11 18:58:45

Inviting you round for spaghetti? shock Doesn't she know that spaghetti is the devil's arse-hair and will immediately make you regain all the weight you have loosed?

WhereYouLeftIt Fri 17-Jun-11 19:01:07

OP, you said 'sensible diet'? Cheese may have no carbs, but it's about one third fat - very high calorie! Spaghetti and cake - carbs. Are you sure your friends aren't just trying to encouraged a balanced diet?

toptramp Fri 17-Jun-11 19:32:42

the flipside of loosing wieght is that I do get a bit obsessed with food so mabe I have issues?

toptramp Fri 17-Jun-11 19:33:21

rocket ! grin

DoMeDon Fri 17-Jun-11 19:43:10

It doesn't have to mean jealousy - it can be about the insecurity of the other person in relation to a change in your relationship or a mirror to their own flaws. If she pigs out with you she may be scared of losing her eating buddy or worried it will highlight her own failure to eat sensibly.

When I lost weight I had a friend who became very spiteful and said some awful things. Does happen unfortunately, but is about them not you.

forehead Fri 17-Jun-11 20:54:26

When you lose weight, you become a threat to SOME women. When i lost weight, some of my 'friends' didn't even comment on my two stone weight loss, but had always been quick to notice if i put on weight. The irony is that they are all slim.

Naetha Fri 17-Jun-11 21:01:48

SOme of my friends do that with me - I've already lost weight, and I'm a healthy weight, but I really want to lose the last few lbs of stomach fat, and they seem to really begrudge me wanting to lose any more.

It's a bit odd, but horses for courses - everyone deals with different things in different ways.

Jonnyfan Fri 17-Jun-11 21:51:20

Know exactly what you mean; lost nearly three stone recently on WW and get loads of lovely comments on a daily basis from people at work, but my "best" friend-who I meet weekly for coffee- does not comment at all. Even when I wore a dress for the first time in about 10 years, she said nothing about it. I said I had bought some things from Noa Noa she said "Really? I thought they only do smalled sizes!"

inspireme Fri 17-Jun-11 21:54:54

My SIL and mum both have recenlty lost alot of weight and looked awful for it, SIL in particular by over exercising and eating v little - yes she did loose weight but in most people's opinion looked worse for it, it put about 10 yrs on her, so tbh I tried to encourage her to eat a bit more as I felt she was doing her body damage by eating so little, she eventually realised how bad she looked with so much weight off and put on about half a stone and now looks great.

Possibly your friends are doing this, or they are simply just jealous if u look great?

AlsoAvailableSober Fri 17-Jun-11 21:56:42

I lost 4 stone (am now a 10/12) and about 3 stone in got comments from one particluar friend about not losing any more as i would have gone too far. I think having ALWAYS seen me as a size 14-18 they couldn't 'see' the new me. I think i just looked 'wrong' to her as it was such a difference. I have never had blatant scuppering of a diet though, that is just mean angry

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