AIBU about the car seat?

[mummytigger]

DP and I are currently at loggerheads over the car seat, and it's driving me spare, so I just wanted to get everyone's opinions on it.

Basically, he is of the opinion that rear-facing car seats, when possible, need to go in the front, because otherwise you can't see the baby. This is strange but understandable reasoning, as he doesn't have front-passenger airbags. My issue is that I've always been trained to believe the child goes in the back, regardless of whether it's rear or front-facing, and if it's a major issue to buy one of those mirrors that allow you to see the baby, or to have me sit in the back with the baby.

But, in total contrast, we have two sunshades that are to remain fixed to the back passenger windows... even when the baby is in front! So, in effect, the sunshades are completely pointless in protecting the baby from UV and from direct sunlight.

This has all come to a head recently because I've bought a "totally pointless" seat belt extender for £9 that is compatible with his car, as the rear passenger seat belts don't extend far enough to allow a comfortable fit. He knew I was ordering it, and the day after it had been dispatched we had an all-out barney about it. It's - honestly - the ONLY thing we've ever seriously fought about in the whole of our relationship. We have our spats but this is just getting stupid!

AIBU to want to baby in the back with the sunshades? Or is HBU by wanting to put the baby in front?

[savoycabbage]

Why does he want to see the baby? He should be looking at the road.

[mummytigger]

That was my point to him, and he didn't have an answer!

[essexmumma]

agreed! baby should be in the back - my 14 month old would distract the life out of me in the front and it is always safer to sit in the back for anyone!!

Babies who are restrained properly cannot do themselves any harm so why does he need to see the baby?

[xstitch]

Children should always be in the back unless unavoidable AFAIC. Most cars there days have front passenger airbags that don't turn off so he is lucky he has the option. I agree he should be watching the road not the baby.

You can buy mirror things so you can glance at the baby in the rear view mirror hif he really feels the need but I would say he was putting his baby in more danger by not paying attention to the road.

[lurkerspeaks]

I thought car seats were safer in the back.

I'm sure someone else will be along with a link. Surely he doesn't want to prejudice his DC's safety.

[thisisyesterday]

technically baby is safer in the back.

if could be a distraction having the baby in the front when he ought to be watching the road.
however some people find it equally as distracting hearing baby crying or whatever and not being able to see them...

[mummytigger]

I've said all this to him - and he just refuses to listen. It's just getting a bit upsetting that he isn't listening to me at ALL, he's just digging his heels in and refuses to even have a civilised discussion about it.

[savoycabbage]

Then we are right and he is wrong

I would be worried that he would be messing about getting the baby's hat out of his eyes or whatever and crash.

[TheCountessOlenska]

It's a strange thing to argue about (although I'm sure dh and I have argued over equally strange things!)

I always thought the advice was that it was safer in the back but as thisisyesterday says, if he finds it distracting having a crying baby in the back maybe it's better for him to move it to the front. I wouldn't worry too much about the sunshades (what sun?)

And you are both being a bit PFB!

[TheBride]

I think the scream-o-meter needs to be assessed front vs back before I can proclaim on this one.

I moved DS into the second stage seat (front facing) as soon as he hit the lower weight limit because it stopped him crying and I figured that whilst the chances of him being injured if I crash were higher in a front facer, the chances of me having the death smash in the first place were way lower.

[savoycabbage]

I am dead strict about carseats. I have only let my 7 year old in the front in an emergency situation.

Where we live you don't have to be in a carseat at all once you're 7 which is madness. It's such a pointless risk as is putting your child in the front for no good reason.

[IRCL]

My daughter goes in the back when she is out, I was under the impression they can go in the front with the airbag turned off, however I would opt for the back just because I feel it is safer.

I can see his point, but it would be wiser to keep his eye on the road than to be watching the baby. Does he mean he wants them to be in the front so he could see to them if they started crying or something?

[Seona1973]

both mine have always been in the back and still are at age 4 and 7. The back is safest for them.

[TotallyLovely]

Is he worried about baby being sick and choking or something? I used to worry about that. As I had a vomiter, baby had to be in the front with me a lot.

[mummytigger]

Right, we've resolved this (finally!!) by coming to a compromise :) He's worried that something will happen to the baby when it's just him and the tot, so if I'm there then the baby travels in the back. If I'm not, the baby travels in the front to keep him at ease. Thank you everyone - seriously, I don't know how it would have been resolved otherwise lol!

[MorticiaAddams]

We had one of these mirrors on the back window so that you could keep an eye on the baby in the back.

[SenoritaViva]

Didn't realise the car was lacking in air bags AND brakes to stop the car and check the baby if he was worried about it.

[debka]

What's he going to do when you have another DC?

[nocake]

We have a mirror, similar to Morticia's, strapped to the middle headrest which means that either person in the front can see DD in her seat. The baby is in the safest place in the car and we can see what mischief she's up to.

[Katiebeau]

My friend kept her rearfacing carseat in the front for the samre reason, she wanted to see the baby, unfortunately not always concentrating on the road.

We got around that by buying a mirror for the back which meant a quick glance in the rear view and you can see the baby.

I can't find a reference but the "smallest" child should go behind the passenger seat - it's the safest place, less hits on that side apparently!

[confuddledDOTcom]

Katie we put them behind the passenger because we feel it's safer when you are putting them in as that's when you spend more time getting them in usually.

[worldgonecrazy]

When DD was in her first car seat we would put it in the front if we were driving solo (air bag off). Now she has a fixed ERF seat it has to stay in the back so we have a mirror. If you're in the back with her, what's the problem?

[duffybeatmetoit]

I second insert. Our DD is very prone to car-sickness and driving alone with nowhere to pull over when your child is choking on their own vomit and you can't do anything because they are in the back has shortened my life expectancy considerably (and made her very wary of getting in cars).