AIBU to take my 4 year old to 3 month scan?(46 Posts)
I specifically asked DH if he wanted to come to scan and could he definitely make it as they allocated a time when I would have DD. So his role was to see scan but also make sure DD isn't a PITA. He now says he has a conference call when the appointment starts.
It's too late to make other arrangements, do you think the hospital will be a bit annoyed? That's the main questions
Please also tell me IABU (which I am) to be peeved at DH for letting me down. I know it's work but I would have rescheduled the appointment if he'd said he wasn't sure or organised for someone to look after DD so that he had room for flexibility.
It is a PITA but that's work, our place re-schedule things all the time, we've had to cancel quite a few days off with one thing and another.
I'm not sure it's such a great idea to have a child attend a scan TBH. I'm sure everything will be great, but if you can I would try to leave her with someone else, then you can show her the pictures when you get home.
If you're worrying about her being a monkey you won't be able to relax and enjoy it either.
The other thing to bear in mind is that (hopefully this won't happen & don't worry!) but you can receive bad news at these scans, & how would that affect your daughter. Can you ask a friend to look after her?
Some hospitals won't allow anyone other than 1 adult in the scan room - my hospital specifically said no children, so worth checking before you take her! Can a friend/mum from pre-school not have your 4 year old for a couple of hours?
Sadly I don't have a choice Pootles. No family to dump them with and have to head out now or I'll be late so can't start making calls.
Ring the hospital and see what they say. If they think you'd be better to reschedule, they'll do that. If they think you'd be alright to take her in, they'll tell you. They're going to be best placed to advise.
When's the appointment?
Have just rung hospital, thank you to those who are thinking clearly. Hormones have removed common sense. They were very happy for her to come, perhaps I should have tried them first rather than mumsnet!
I had to take DS1 who was 4/5 years old at the time to my scans as I had nobody else to mind him. When I was checked for a tear in my membranes one of the midwives took him outside as no child needs to see their mammy lying on her back legs akimbo .
I took my ds (nearly 3) to my first scan. DP sat him on his lap and ds was good as gold watching baby. He was fasinated by it, made him very happy when baby waved at him!
Did worry about something going wrong with baby, but thought it was a low risk and we wanted ds involed
If it's really last-minute, how is she with people she doesn't know? If she's ok, try ringing fish (google fish and wherever you live), they are gov. organisation that can organise emergency childcare.
Ah ok glad it's sorted OP. Good luck, enjoy it!
DD1 came with us for my scans with Dc2. She was only about 14/15mths at the time.
No family nearby to help. She was very clingy so would never have been happily left with someone. She sat on DH's lap pointing at the screen saying "baby" which was quite sweet.
Our hospital said they prefered no children but understood. They said but if she disruptive then DH would need to take her outside.
We took lots of snacks and toys with us to keep her occupied and thankfully she was as good as gold. (albiet abit wriggly!)
We figured she was too young to understand anyway if anything had been wrong.
Glad to hear they are happy to have her along. My dd1 now at 2.10 would happily sit quitely with my iphone/ipad.
Not unreasonable to take the child. I am sure the hospital will be delighted to see the little one..and it will be educational for her (help her bond with her new brother or sister).
I can see why you are dissapointed that your husband can't attend...but in this economic climate he needs to protect his job...and be there if he's needed.
HOWEVER - he should have tried to make it to the scan...he will be missing out. He may not have been able to attend. Ask him why..
i took my then 3 yr old son to all my scans had to have extra ones as ds1was quite small at birth [5lb 14 oz] at 41 weeks so they wanted to keep an eye on ds2 growth[ he was actually 8lb 4oz at 42 weeks] not a problem and ds1 was fascinated at the baby in mummys tummy
I took my dd(who was only 2) to a lot of my scans when pregnant with ds. I had to have scans every 2 weeks dh couldnt take anymore time off work and I couldnt keep asking inlaws/friends. The midwives were really good with her and had toys/books/crayons to keep kids occupied.
Hopefully verything has worked out fine for the OP today but as a general rule no I would never take a child to a scan at all. The scan is a medical diagnostic procedure and there is the potential for bad or confusing news. A mother who is trying to protect the child who has accompanied her will be in no fit state to absorb such news and neither will her partner, parent etc. Scans are for the pregnant woman and one other imo.
I wouldn't to be honest just in case there was bad news (unlikely but having had a mc myself is not impossible). But if you really have no alternative then I guess you have to.
I 'm with Northern Lurker. Children do not benefit from the scan although the parents like to think they do. It is a medical procedure and it is not uncommon to receive bad/confusing unexpected news. A child should not be there for many reasons.
Our hospital said they prefered no children but understood.
So somewhere stipulates 'no children' and people think 'fuck that'! What is wrong with some people and their sense of entitlement?
Our trust says prefer no children but there was noone else i could leave daughter with so husband took her in wiht us and she was fine. Don't see the problem.
Its very asy to say "oh just leave them with someone" when you have friends and family nearby but not so easy for those of us who dont.
Bimbo that's not a "sense of entitlement"; the poster in question wasn't bringing her DD along because she thought it would be a nice trip out for her, but because DD was so clingy that no other childcare was possible - the hospital understood that this was the case.
i had bad news at a scan - turned out OK in the end but it was bad news at the time. It is ... difficult if you have another child there. It's not just about them not being there when you hear it, it;s also that it is/can be an intense experience that is difficult to absorb. "Acting" all the way through the remains of the scan - which also involved a long talk with another medical person - and then on the way home, and all the way to bed time, in fact - until the point when I could sit down and absorb it all - was hard.
I even had dh there (which I see you will have). but it didn't really help. Is there no way to fix up a playdate or something?
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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