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To want to resign

(7 Posts)
spambolina Fri 17-Jun-11 08:23:49

Had one of those impossible 'I'm going to explode' moments when my Boss told me she'd have to do some role playing with me in regard to making telephone calls on behalf of the charity I work for - my reply was that I would never reply in a way that I wasn't comfortable with and that didnt come from me. And through her cloud of psychotherapist talk I understood she wanted me to in effect be able to 'lie' whilst acting as representative of her charity that works with young people to encourage self esteem, confidence, individualism etc.
So, AIBU to say shove your job. Ironic as she managed to not only insult my professional judgement but also completely destroy my self confidence and self esteem in the process. I will however not be willing to lie as I don't see we have anything to hide, she clearly does. Is she now revealing her true self?
The full details of this are very complicated and quite involved, not sure it's appropriate to divulge anymore details as it involves young people.

Tortington Fri 17-Jun-11 08:28:26

well there are a couple of options
you could look at the strength of the HR policies - report her via her management, write a letter to your charities board, is there a whistleblowing policy? ask the advice of the charities commission

lesley33 Fri 17-Jun-11 08:59:12

I work for a charity and am currently having a nightmare time with the Chairperson. And like you I feel like quitting. But you know that it is a very difficult time to find another job at the moment.

If I was you I wouldn't lie - apart from ethical reasons, if it all goes wrong,you can bet your boss will not say that she told you to lie. But look for another job.

Yes you can try and whistleblow. But unless colleagues will back you up there is no proof that she told you to lie. And without proof I think you will probably just be seen as a troublemaker who is unhappy about being told she isn't doing the job well enough.

If you have colleagues who will also say that she told them to lie, then you can whilstle blow to your Board or a more senior manager - if there is one.

There is absolutely no point approaching the charity commission. They have had major cuts and have publically said they will not get involved in small cases of transgression like this. If there was major fraud going on they might be helpful, but they won't do anything with this.

HerHissyness Fri 17-Jun-11 09:07:11

Have you actually done the role playing yet? is it possible that she is not putting her point across well enough for you to understand what she wants you to say?

If there is any potential for her to have not communicated what she meant, then do the role play THEN disagree with her and state exactly WHY you object to the line she is taking.

porcamiseria Fri 17-Jun-11 09:16:00

dont resign, part of work is that sometimes bosses say shitty thing you dont agree with. agree with herhissy , maybe TRY what she has suggested, without compromising your integrity. then you are in a far more informed posotion to respond. my boss made me cry too yesterday, rise above it x

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Fri 17-Jun-11 09:35:16

OP... I'd ask my boss to put her changed job requirements for me, in WRITING. That way you're protecting yourself and your boss will have to think carefully about the legalities of what she's asking you to do.

Don't resign, not until you get something else, it's much easier to find a new job when you have one already. Good luck, start looking right away, but stand your ground with your boss, she doesn't have all the power, even if it looks like she does from where you're standing.

spambolina Fri 17-Jun-11 11:41:49

Thanks for all your comments, yes it is a very difficult economic climate and although I really need the money does it warrant having to put your ethical and morale beliefs to one side? Its a real dilema. I guess boils down to a changed boss and employee relationship and because we work so closely together its about a break of trust and respect with her - its also a heck of a lot to do with control - giving someone the freedom to have certain responsibilities and then trying to control every which decision one might need to make in that role. The situation also involves a project or event which I now do not feel comfortable participating due to her 'trying to wing it' with permission for the children to be there. I think I have exposed some fundamental flaws not only in her character but in the way the charity is run and its ethos.

Lyingwitchinthewardbrobe: good idea and I might suggest if she wants me to lie, that something is added in writing!

Getting on the case with looking else where.

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