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to think he should've said something sooner...religion\kids

(98 Posts)
TheSecondComing Thu 16-Jun-11 17:16:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eurochick Thu 16-Jun-11 17:19:35

Yes. As the child's father he has equal say to you. If he's not comfortable with the school then you need to find a compromise. He can certainly "change his mind".

Mollydoggerson Thu 16-Jun-11 17:22:24


EvenLessNarkyPuffin Thu 16-Jun-11 17:22:49

Isn't it too late to change if she's starting in September?

TheSecondComing Thu 16-Jun-11 17:24:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpringchickenGoldBrass Thu 16-Jun-11 17:25:00

He should have said something sooner but has he tried to? Have you been prepared to listen? Sometimes people who are intent on getting their own way about superstition really don't want to listen to another viewpoint.

buzzsore Thu 16-Jun-11 17:27:32

Well, he's got as much say in where your child goes as you do. Of course he can change his mind if he's not comfortable with the Catholic school, having only just seen it for himself. Whether you can get a place elsewhere I don't know.

SugarPasteFrog Thu 16-Jun-11 17:28:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dozer Thu 16-Jun-11 17:30:46

Yes, he can change his mind, and has equal right to take decisions about education, but agree that it is rather late for him to express opposition. Suppose it depends on other options locally for this September - his job to do the legwork?

What did he expect from a faith school anyway?

GwendolineMaryLacey Thu 16-Jun-11 17:34:55

It's unfair of him to move the goalposts at this stage if he agreed all along. How serious do you think he is?

DH is C of E and agreed at wedding and dd's baptism that she would be brought up as Catholic. We're looking at school applications this year and I'd be pretty pissed off if he changed his mind now.

juicyfruitqueen Thu 16-Jun-11 17:35:35

I think you are experiencing the lack of forward planning that alot of fathers are afflicted by.

It would be fine if school places were there according to need, but in reality, we have to apply very early on, and cannot have the luxury of eleventh hour changes.

Of course he can change his mind, but will he invest equal time in planning to facilitate a deviation from your current plan for school?

MrsTwinks Thu 16-Jun-11 17:35:41

he is entitled to change his mind but it is a bit late IMO, and TBH I dont see the problem with saints and "letters to god" in a church school. I mean maybe not the saints but the letters to god I would expect to see in any church school, on an open day at least because we all know they play to the audience at that time. It wouldnt even shock me to see it (religion appropriate iykwim) in any school demonstrating how they teach RE.

What exactly is his problem with it other than too much god? If it was an open day maybe ask if you can visit on a normal day, because obviously the god is a selling point isnt it so they "sell" it, it might not be a prominant as he thinks. But I think you need to talk and get to the root of his problem

LaurieFairyCake Thu 16-Jun-11 17:36:09

I'm going to ignore the religious stuff as that isn't really what the post is about for me - your child will already have settled into her friendships and social life after a year (if you don't try and find somewhere by September - no idea how you will do that) - unless you have to move a child you shouldn't.

A child being settled is the important thing.

How is he planning to find a school now when she already has a place?

diddl Thu 16-Jun-11 17:37:28

Yes, he can change his mind.

What religion is he?

zeolite Thu 16-Jun-11 17:44:49

Could it be a chance for a discussion? People's thinking develops over time, and it may be a real opportunity to look at stuff and resolve any assumptions.

Anyone can do 'un/fair', but sometimes a partnership is all the better if we're kind as well as fair. The other thing is faith is a gift. And there's a monopoly on who's handing it out, so maybe his talking about isn't a problem.

TheSecondComing Thu 16-Jun-11 17:45:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSecondComing Thu 16-Jun-11 17:49:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsTwinks Thu 16-Jun-11 17:49:14

do you think i might be more about religion overtaking other subjects rather than the religion itself? cos it sounds like hes ok with baptism.

what i mean is maybe hes worried his DD will be taught the bible version of evolution rather than science and the homosexuals are evil and go to hell etc etc? i think you need to talk because if this is the root of it then you will be able to ease his mind

TheSecondComing Thu 16-Jun-11 17:57:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eurochick Thu 16-Jun-11 18:12:35

I have to admit it would have completely freaked me out too. I think that's education shoud be secular, like in France, with religion being something you do outside school.

Bonsoir Thu 16-Jun-11 18:15:48

Don't idolise France. 17% of children in France are educated in Catholic schools (and they are mostly the better schools).

GwendolineMaryLacey Thu 16-Jun-11 18:17:37

Is it a different school to the one your DD1 went to? If she's been through the whole system, how come he's only now finding a problem with it? It's no secret that Catholic schools are goddy grin

sparkle12mar08 Thu 16-Jun-11 18:19:25

But the system is secular and that's exactly as it should be!

cat64 Thu 16-Jun-11 18:25:12

Message withdrawn

Sarraburd Thu 16-Jun-11 18:25:43

YANBU. I'm with GML - am catholic, kids baptized, discussed before wedding they'd be brought up catholic etc then we discussed and agreed catholic school, etc. Which like yours is brilliant and therefore the v much overegg the god bit at open day to root out anyone who's not religious but just keen on te good school bit but havent thought it through and doesn't want their child "indoctrinated"...

I'd remind him about DD1 and that saints are really just meant to be examples of people who have lived a good life ie not nec a bad thing for your DC to hear about...the DCs prob won't even notice the saints, just see it as part ofthe school furniture (I know I never really noticed all the saints etc as my school, and I made up my own mind - you can't make someone have a faith)

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