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Would your DH/P think that these are acceptable things to say to you, or do I have permission to clock mine over the head with something heavy?

(197 Posts)
DooinMeCleanin Thu 16-Jun-11 14:04:50

We were looking for holiday clothes for me. Why any input from him is required I have no idea, he seems to think he has a right to tell me how to dress, but that is a whole other thread.

During looking for swimming costumes:

1) "No, I don't like that one, all your belly fat will hang out all over the place. You know how paranoid you are about your belly fat"

<Actually I wasn't thinking about my belly fat until you just mentioned it>

2) "But that model is skinny. All the models you are showing me have nice figures. You're fat remember? <How can I forget with you reminding me every second, darling?> You need to find fat models" - at this point he actually Googled 'overweight swimwear models' shock

3) Upon finding somewear modelled on Evans site:

him: "But she is still skinny. You're not"
me: "Evans start at a size 14, so she must at least be a 14, but she looks more like a 16 to me, she just carries it well"
him: "Well if she is a 16 why are you looking at size 18 clothes. You must be at least a size 24" angry

At this point I walked out of the room.

Later on I was told.... "You need to get that cross trainer back out before we go on holiday. I'm going to start making you use it every night" shock

And this man wonders why he doesn't have sex often hmm

So are these comments 'supportive' and 'helpful' or can I hit him?

Happymm Thu 16-Jun-11 14:06:11

The lattergrin

TechLovingDad Thu 16-Jun-11 14:06:25

Why are you with him?

feckwit Thu 16-Jun-11 14:06:41

And you are with him because...?

whyme2 Thu 16-Jun-11 14:07:00

Hit him hard until he stops talking at least.

Flisspaps Thu 16-Jun-11 14:07:08

They're not supportive. He can't even dress it up as being honest - that's just being cuntish.

I assume that he's perfection embodied in a human form?

Pinkjenny Thu 16-Jun-11 14:07:34

My dh is a little more interested in my weight than I would like, also. But those comments are just vile. You can definitely hit him.

TechLovingDad Thu 16-Jun-11 14:07:37

Flisspaps, sorry for the hijack. Your name is brilliant grin

LadyBeagleEyes Thu 16-Jun-11 14:08:56

He sounds really horrible OP.
I'm shock.
Is he perfect then?

AgentZigzag Thu 16-Jun-11 14:09:21

I ask my DH what he thinks and expect him to tell the truth in a nice way (ie 'the other one looked better', 'your arse looks great in that one' etc).

But he would never volunteer his view, or go on and on about fat spilling over the top, or google 'fat models' shock

Cheeky fucker angry

Why wouldn't he want you to feel good about the way you look?

And what's his style/body like?

LDNmummy Thu 16-Jun-11 14:10:00

Thats not even being honest as Flisspaps said. That is unecessary and mean.

I assume he is built like an Adonis?

Witchofthenorth Thu 16-Jun-11 14:10:28

Def not supportive! Hit him then tell him he couldn't possibly buy those trunks for holiday, they make his already teeny weeny dick look even smaller! grin

DooinMeCleanin Thu 16-Jun-11 14:11:29

Flissflaps, he reckons he just wants to be 'honest, so I look my best' hmm

He is hardly a skinny minnie himself and weighs over 18 stone, he is 6ft though. I have no idea why I am with him atm. No jury would convict me, right? wink

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Thu 16-Jun-11 14:13:30

He's got a real problem with your weight, hasn't he? sad

No, He's not supportive or helpful. His comments come across like they are designed to belittle you and put you down.

Either sit him down and tell him how offensive he is, or perhaps start making similar comments to him, see how he likes it.

MollysChamber Thu 16-Jun-11 14:13:54

I did laugh at googling "overweight swimwear models". What a tosser.

If my DH had said those things to me I think I would have either burst into tears or done him some serious harm.

"Make" you use a cross trainer ffs.

LDNmummy Thu 16-Jun-11 14:14:15

Being 6ft and over 18 stone means he is no Adonis and should practice what he preaches.

Silly man.

AuntieMonica Thu 16-Jun-11 14:14:20

to answer your DH would not find these things acceptable to say to me.

and not because it doesn't apply either.

he's not being very nice to you OP sad

SoftKittyWarmKitty Thu 16-Jun-11 14:15:05

Fuck me, I'd kill him. When he next 'helpfully' comments on your weight, tell him "I can always lose weight and tone up, but you'll still be a vindictive, spiteful bastard."

Then leave him.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Thu 16-Jun-11 14:15:13

Well, if you ever want to be childish, you could always tell him that you'd probably have sex more often if he got rid of his belly so his cock wasn't engulfed by his gut.

But that would be mean and unhelpful. So you should probably be more mature than I'd be and just have a straight conversation with him where you tell him that it is not nice of him to make hurtful comments to someone he is supposed to love.

LeQueen Thu 16-Jun-11 14:15:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LDNmummy Thu 16-Jun-11 14:15:31

Ooh I do envy that you own a cross trainer though, wish I had the space for one.

DooinMeCleanin Thu 16-Jun-11 14:15:32

Well obviously at that point I did tell him exactly where I would be putting the cross trainer. He seemed genuinely surprised that he had upset me hmm

GreenTeapot Thu 16-Jun-11 14:16:25

Yes, that would cross a line. I think he thinks he's being helpfully honest and blunt but in fact he's being a twat. Hit him, but while he's reeling I think it would be wise to spell out that he's making you feel like shit and until (and even if) he's a specimen of athletic beauty could he please zip it.

zukiecat Thu 16-Jun-11 14:16:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Icelollycraving Thu 16-Jun-11 14:17:33

Hit him. Hit him hard.
I would start googling swimwear for men with atrophied genetalia due to them being overweight & leave that as his screensaver.

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