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to be wary of seeing nephew tomorrow

(18 Posts)
SusiaX Wed 15-Jun-11 21:58:07

He has chicken pox. He only has a few spots but they came out a couple of days ago. My DCs are 2.4 and 7 months and I know they need to get it sometime but DD has her pre-school taster day in three weeks and I don't really want her to miss it.

As a bit of background, my BIL and SIL live abroad so we only get to see them about four times a year therefore, when they come over, we try and do as much as we can with them. I feel like I'm being the bad guy if I say I want to wait a couple of days until the spots are scabbed over. (I was also the bad guy at Christmas when I said I didn't want to stay over at PILs as we would normally do, because I had a month old baby and wanted to sleep at home.)

I don't want to spoil a family day out and part of me thinks it's not the end of the world if they catch it anyway so why worry but, the other part of me doesn't want to knowingly expose them confused.

rubyslippers Wed 15-Jun-11 22:01:19

I wouldn't knowingly expose my children to chicken pox

You aren't being the bad guy

Ingles2 Wed 15-Jun-11 22:04:22

no don't do it... wait until the spots are scabbed over. 7 months is tiny to get the pox and it can be a horrible disease with complications.. It's just not worth it for the sake of not upsetting the family.

KangarooCaught Wed 15-Jun-11 22:06:04

Just say you'll see them once the spots have scabbed over and be firm. There is never a good time to get chicken pox ime and once at preschool she'll get exposed anyway and you'll look at every spot with suspicion!

AurraSing Wed 15-Jun-11 22:06:19

I wouldn't expose any of my DC to CP either, certainly not a 7 mth old.

See them in a week or so.

pickgo Wed 15-Jun-11 22:07:17

My DS got chickenpox at 15 mths and it was no big deal - dr said they don't get it properly when very young. Got it again at 7 had 2 weeks off and had 242 spots (we counted them - that was a great day!)

SusiaX Wed 15-Jun-11 22:11:05

Phew, I thought I might be being a bit precious about it. Thing is they're only here for five days.

I think they're being a bit irresponsible anyway as they've already been on a plane today and we are meant to be going to a big shopping centre tomorrow. They seem to be more relaxed about chicken pox where they live – they all still go to school/nursery when they've got it and I seem to be the only one who has a problem with it!

NeverEvenHeardOfAgentZigzag Wed 15-Jun-11 22:11:13

You see your SIL more that I do and mine just lives an hour or so away grin

Who's it making you feel like the baddie?

I'm sure they'll take the lead and suggest they won't see you until he's started to clear up, or at least give you a choice by asking if you mind.

And if they don't, they should.

Nanny0gg Wed 15-Jun-11 22:11:17

Dr doesn't know what he's talking about.
Friend' DS had CP at 7 months and you couldn't put a pin between the spots. I've never seen anything like it. He was as miserable as sin, poor little boy.
Not worth the risk.

DogsBestFriend Wed 15-Jun-11 22:12:55

I'd be concerned about a baby getting CP although i think I'd welcome it IYSWIM in an older infant. My two got it at about 7 and 8 years old and were barely bothered by it - they caught it from me. I was fresh out of cancer surgery and it knocked me sideways, I was terrinly ill, as I understand is often the case for adults. I'd much rather young children caught it than they experienced it as adults, going on my own case. However, as I said, a baby is a different matter and I wouldn't knowingly take mine near a CP sufferer.

NeverEvenHeardOfAgentZigzag Wed 15-Jun-11 22:23:18

X-posts with you susia.

If that's the case I wouldn't give a rats arse if I was seen as the baddie by anyone who cared to think of me in that way, if the alternative was a risk to my baby.

You're hardly going to put social niceties above your babys health are you?

What does your DH reckon about it all?

Imnotaslimjim Wed 15-Jun-11 22:26:18

I wouldn't do it either. Ds breezed through them, but poor DD (who is 2 years younger than him) was covered from head to toe. She had them everywhere and had to have anti-virals as she had spots on top of spots. I've never seen anything so bad, even the dr was shocked. He said he would have expected DS to be worse, as they usually get it worse as they get older, but obviously that doesn't guarantee anything! 7 months is still tiny to be getting things like that, YANBU at all

SusiaX Wed 15-Jun-11 22:28:32

I think DH, and MIL, are of the opinion that, a) they have to have it sometime and b) they wouldn't necessarily get it anyway.

Off to bed (DS still waking two or three times a night) and an 'interesting' conversation with DH!

fuzzpigFriday Wed 15-Jun-11 22:33:53

Not worth the risk. My DSD had it when she was a baby and she ended up in hospital because the spots spread down her throat and she couldn't drink or breathe properly sad

My DD's best friend got diagnosed with it today, and DD seems quite unwell tonight, as does DS - they are nearly 4 and nearly 2 though so I'm not too worried if they have it - it is better to have it as a child anyway. But I wouldn't knowingly expose them to it, I'm not about to phone up said friend's mum and ask for a playdate!

Haudyerwheesht Wed 15-Jun-11 22:38:26

This thread makes me so mad (not at you op). My father has waited years as have we all for a transplant, he's just had one. If he catches chickenpox it is massively bad news. Massively. He is on immunosupressant drugs and has no protection.

So irresponsible.

Yanbu.

whydobirdssuddenlyappear Wed 15-Jun-11 22:41:38

CP can be mild, and yes, it usually is. And yes, I was really bloody glad when my dcs got severe enough cases to confer lifelong immunity (esp given I didn't, when I was little, have a severe enough case, so I have first hand experience of the joy of (albeit mild) adult CP). On the flip side, it can also have serious, and life-threatening, complications. Fine, those are rare, and in most cases it's mild, and sure, they have to get it sometime, but really, it's not sensible to knowingly expose anybody to an infection that could potentially cause harm. So no, imo, yanbu.

MCos Wed 15-Jun-11 22:59:52

Not worth the risk for a 7 mth old.
So, YANBU, IMO.

Isitreally Wed 15-Jun-11 23:01:53

totally agree with whydobirdsuddenlyappear.
CP is a mild disease in the vast majority of children. It can still be unpleasant though and on a practical note, it is harder to find medication to give to a 7 month old to make them comfortable than for an older child who is allowed more over the counter remedies. Young children are limited in what they are allowed to take whereas with an older child you can dose them up a bit more (in a medically responsible way of course) to ease the itching.

In rare cases CP can cause complications. Usually this is just infected spots that might lead to blood poisoning concerns but sometimes more severe complications occur and a few cases every year, even in the UK, are fatal. Only a few - but you would never forgive yourself if you deliberately exposed them and they ended up hospitalised with it. You can't avoid it forever but if you expose them on purpose and they get a bad dose of it, you will feel awful.

And finally, and again on a practical note, they will most likely catch it. Chickenpox infects something like 95% of all non immune people within 15 minutes of sharing the same indoor space (a room or a bus for example). The chances of dodging it are low and if they get it, the incubation period is about 10 - 14 days so it will almost certainly mess up any plans you have for 14 - 21 days hence.
CP is very infectious and very dangerous to non immune pregnant women, immuno supressed people, people having cancer treatment etc so if they do get it there would be no way that you could take them out anywhere in public or to school for the time they are contagious.

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