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AIBU to think that 11 year old primary school children do not need this level of sex education?

(215 Posts)
ZhenXiang Wed 15-Jun-11 21:02:07

Friends DS came home with a leaflet that had been handed out at school (aimed at girls, but he took it because of the content). It contained:

-Advice telling the girls to get a mirror and examine their genital area plus -picture of said area
-Information about discharge and STI's
-Information about going further with your boyfriend and masturbation
-Advice about contraception
-Advice and information about homosexual relationships
-Pictures of people in fairly intimate positions
-Information telling children that if they tell a doctor or a teacher that they are having sex that they are not allowed to tell their parents

Given that the law is that children should not be having sex until 16 and that this is a primary school I was a bit shocked that this information was being handed out without the parents knowledge. I would expect that this sort of content would be dealt with in secondary school in year 8 or 9 (that was when we had it when I was at school).

What do you think?

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Wed 15-Jun-11 21:05:23

I think that is too much. Far too much.

iMemoo Wed 15-Jun-11 21:07:41

I think it's just right. Having worked in a school I know there have be incidences of children having sex as young as 12.

vigglewiggle Wed 15-Jun-11 21:07:47

It doesn't worry me TBH. But I come from the POV that I'd rather my DD's had all of the information so that they can (hopefully) make good decisions. We are quite open about talking about sex and so I would expect DD's to know most of this stuff by the time they are 11.

Onemorning Wed 15-Jun-11 21:10:38

A girl at my school got pregnant at 12. I don't think it's unreasonable to give them that kind of information.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Wed 15-Jun-11 21:11:16

TWELVE?
<faints>

Do I live in a different world or something? [boggle] What the hell happened to childhood?

mrspnut Wed 15-Jun-11 21:12:52

I think it's about right, I'd also like to see more information about the emotional side of relationships too from the same age.

Shallishanti Wed 15-Jun-11 21:13:28

ONE leaflet contained all that?

I'm sceptical

Onemorning Wed 15-Jun-11 21:13:31

I went to a quite nice state school in Sussex. Another girl got pregnant at 15.

I hadn't even snogged a boy at 12. But that's for want of willing victims more than anything else.

ZhenXiang Wed 15-Jun-11 21:13:46

But that is your choice vigglewiggle, what about all the other parents who would not choose that for their child, who were not even given the choice? What about children whose parents do not talk to them about it, so they have no one to discuss the questions that reading material like this will raise?

I too know of children having sex as young as 12, but those children would likely know about it and do it anyway. What about the children who were not even thinking about it until they read the information, who now might end up thinking well there is contraception and out parents won't find out about it so why not go for it. Maybe if they weren't exposed to this level of information so young they would be less likely to feel confident to become sexual at a young age?

drivingmisscrazy Wed 15-Jun-11 21:14:56

I would always take the view that knowledge is better than ignorance, provided that it's sensitively handled. Really, they are not going to have sex because it's on a leaflet! A lot of children are exposed to sexual behaviour at early ages; and the provision about confidentiality is crucial in cases where a child is being sexually abused by a parent.

basingstoke Wed 15-Jun-11 21:15:00

I think it's no bad thing to know about your genitals. Far too many girls are apparently unaware that they don't wee out of their vagina hmm

I think information about homosexual relationships is pretty spot on.

TiredMonkey Wed 15-Jun-11 21:15:02

I've given my dd (11 very soon) a couple of books that explain all of this, and had a few conversations with her about it all too. She's developing and I'd rather she heard the real facts from me than believed nonsense in the playground and I think it's important that she's prepared for things before they happen and knows that she can ask me anything she wants to know and we can talk about it.

I didn't know periods existed until I started mine at not much older than she is now and it scared the bejeezus out of me. I thought I was dying! I'd hate that to happen to her.

basingstoke Wed 15-Jun-11 21:16:01

Did it have really small type...?

ZhenXiang Wed 15-Jun-11 21:16:26

It is called 4Girls - a below the bra guide to the female body and it is produced by the FPA (www.fpa.org.uk) if you want to check it out Shalli.

They do cover the emotional side of relationships through SEAL and PHSE at primary school.

LittleMissFlustered Wed 15-Jun-11 21:17:16

In my school year alone we 'lost' five girls between years eight and ten to the young mum unit. As an adult I know at least three women who started their families at twelve/thirteen. Education is the only way forward. And bollocks (see what I did there?) to prudish British attitudes.

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 15-Jun-11 21:18:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MillyR Wed 15-Jun-11 21:18:34

All of what you have described is mentioned in the Usborne book - Let's Talk About Where Babies Come From, which is written for Primary school age children. DS read this at about 10.

HeavyHeidi Wed 15-Jun-11 21:18:45

there is no evidence suggesting that early sex educations will lead to earlier sex. Quite the opposite - countries where they start with it earlier have less problems with teenage pregnancy, STDs, teenage abortions etc.

defineme Wed 15-Jun-11 21:19:26

Sounds fine to me. Information is power. It's proved time and time again that it's the kids that are fully informed are the ones that make the right choices.
You can still be a child and know about those things.

vigglewiggle Wed 15-Jun-11 21:19:38

I really don't believe children decide to have sex because they read about it in a leaflet shock. I think this kind of information is most important to the few that are sexually active at that age or may become so in the near future.

I would imagine that the remaining majority will either look at it and snigger or not pay a great deal of attention to it because it is not relevant to them.

ZhenXiang Wed 15-Jun-11 21:21:18

It did contain info about the menstrual cycle and periods, breasts and bodily changes too but I agree that should be taught at this age as many girls start their periods at 12. I agree that with you TiredMonkey that it is better she hears it from you than from the playground, but think it should be your choice when you feel your child is ready for that and not the schools.

meditrina Wed 15-Jun-11 21:23:00

The FPA website says that the "4Girls" leaflet is for girls aged 12 and above. As indeed is the parallel "4Boys".

I would not be happy for a primary school to use a secondary school resource, especially when the organisation who gave that advice is so very experienced in this field.

LittleMissFlustered Wed 15-Jun-11 21:25:10

And what if kids whose parents don't bother to tell? Or those whose parents will lie. Or whose parents will not be level and accepting of sexuality. School is meant to educate, this is educating in an unbiassed way about very important and possibly life changing things. I'd rather that every child got the same information, regardless of parental whim. That levels the playing field. It will stop a lot of crappy useless rumour and speculation and it will stop an awful lot of unnecessary teen pregnancy and disease.

begonyabampot Wed 15-Jun-11 21:26:36

my son is nearly 9 and for the past year has been coming home from school and saying things which make it obvious sex is being talked about to some degree in the school playground. I've told him I'll answer any questions he has as i can only imagine what silly crap they are talking about. Also, some kids have unrestricted access to the internet so god knows what some of them are accessing and passing on at school. At the age of 11, I'd imagine they are even more aware and might need some real facts.

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