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Clairebearclaire · 15/06/2011 18:19

Hi I'm new to mumsnet it was recomended by a friend. Quick Story please dont judge got married had 2 kids split up (about a year) had another by someone else split up when baby was 2 weeks old (he was violent went to prison was a thief etc etc) got back with eldests 2 kids dad pregnant again due in 8 weeks. Me hubby and eldest 2 have all got same surname and so will new baby. My little girl who's one has ex's surname. She's been brought up by my hubby since she was 3 weeks old he provides everything for her treats her the same as the other kids. Ex has had no contact he's never provided anything for her half of her first year he spent in prison for violence against me. He's just applied for a contact order. I asked his permission to add my surname to my little girls and he refused I've applied to the court to double barrell her last name reasons are so she doesn't have a totally different last name to her siblings. Paid £200 for a order was at court yesterday and I have 7 days to give my reason why its in her best interest to add my name. Help!!!!

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boohoohoo · 15/06/2011 18:32

Hi, welcome Claire, sounds to me that you have already given good enough reason to change her surname, however I think that double barreling her surname is a great idea (my daughter has my surname and his surname as a middle name, she is now seventeen and last time he saw her she was six months, his choice). You can however call her whatever you like without changing it legally for school etc just not on her passport. Why has he put in a court order, is it for access?

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Clairebearclaire · 15/06/2011 18:42

Hi and Thankyou. I'd love it to be just my surname but thought I'd have more of a chance if I double barrell it. I use my surname now have done since she was about 4 weeks old but really want it to be done legally. Yes He's put in a court order for contact obviously I'm opposing it the judge told him that he's not happy with his behaviour or the way he conducts himself. So he didn't make a great first impression.

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Clairebearclaire · 30/06/2011 20:29

Went to court yesterday I've applied to add my surname to my daughters her surname now is say Smith mine is brown. I've applied to change it to smith brown my ex is opposing this but will allow me to change it to brown smith what does anyone think???

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redfairy · 30/06/2011 21:01

Personally I would favour Smith Brown. I would think the court would see that you are not trying to deny XP's name and are willing to include it. As you have stated the reason is to ensure your child has the same surname this way round would make more sense. It sounds like this is more a control issue by your XP and I would say to stay calm and stand by your proposal. The court will appreciate that you are not trying to remove the name and are happy to incorporate it.

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Clairebearclaire · 30/06/2011 21:18

Thanks redfairy that was my thinking it makes more sense to be smith brown if it was brown smith then she wouldn't have the same name as her siblings. I also think it is just another control issue.

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MoonGirl1981 · 30/06/2011 21:26

That sounds strange.

I changed my son's name by deed poll without my ex-husband's consent. Cost much less than £200 too.

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Clairebearclaire · 30/06/2011 21:38

I can't change it by deed poll without his consent as he's got Pr as he's named on the birth certificate. The only way I can change it is by applying to court for a specific issue order which cost me court fees of £200. My ex opposed the name change so I then had to write a statement saying why I wanted to change it he then had to reply to that then the judge decides wether I can change it or not. If he decides I can then the judge draws up a court order with her new name on.