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my judgey pants are hurting. help me remove them and tell me iabu.

(69 Posts)
badmummy101 Wed 15-Jun-11 16:10:29

ok, are some people just unable to ever put another persons needs before their own?
just took dc to town, was walking to the golden arches with him a boy from his nursery came out of a coffee shop with his mum and we said hi, (the mum was standing with a massive chocolate croissant and coffee.) she said, were going to the library what are you up to?. i said going to maccie ds then possibly library. so she said she would come there and chat while my dc ate.
i thought it was a bit weird but guessed her boy had eaten in the cafe. so i go up to the counter and get my dc a meal we all sit down. her dc starts crying that he is hungry. she is saying, dont worry hon you can have lunch at home, mummy hasnt go any money on her to get you a meal today. little boy carrys on. she wasnt saying no to the meal but that she had no money to buy him one, so i said, if he is hungry do you want me to get him a meal, ( said so he didnt hear) she said oh yes please. i didnt bring any money out with me. ( same woman who just had massive pastry and coffee)
i get the meal put it down, and she proceeds to eat 3 of his 4 nuggets and half of his chips. little boy keeps saying mummy stop eating my lunch. she finishes his lunch and he is still moaning that he is hungry. so she asks my dc to share his meal with her boy. my dc says no. and tbh i dont blame him!
she then says to my dc, do you want to come to my house to play, its only 5 mins away, so i feel cornered. she already knows i have no big plans and my dc says he would want to go there not the library.
off we go.
we stop at the newsagents and she buys 40 ciggies.( no money to get ds a meal but enough to et 40 fags?) and 2 cans of red bull.
we get to her house and she makes herself a massive bowl of pasta. her ds is still saying how hungry he is and she says well you will have to wait till dinner, stop bieng so greedy. she then doesnt finish her pasta and her ds goes to the half full bowl and says can i have that? she says no, you can have it for dinner.
at this point i am fuming. her ds is hungry. not farking greedy. she ate most of his lunch so no wonder he is hungry.
i say to her maybe he is hungry becuase you had some of his lunch. and she replies well if you had made your dc share there would be no issue. i said that he didnt have to share his meal he was hungry and maybe she should have stopped eating his and he wouldnt be in a bad mood now. told her thanks for having us and left.

so... was i a totaly bitch for thinking she should stop being so self obsessed? and was i being horrible for telling her that his moodyness was her own bloody fault?

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Wed 15-Jun-11 16:12:35

YANBU - she sounds like a complete nightmare to be avoided at all costs! I think calling her self obsessed is letting her off quite lightly!

FriskyMare Wed 15-Jun-11 16:15:17


ExitPursuedByAKitten Wed 15-Jun-11 16:17:12

Report her to Social Services.

Pancakeflipper Wed 15-Jun-11 16:17:14

is this for real? Really really?

FreudianSlipper Wed 15-Jun-11 16:17:27

not sure what to say

maybe a chat as to why she is ignoring her son when he says he is hungry, though can understand why you snapped

badmummy101 Wed 15-Jun-11 16:19:39

yes pancake, totally real.
im not sure if she thinks he eats to much or was just weird today, the kid isnt fat, is healthy, ( not off school alot) has no major madical issues, so i cant figure out why she was being a cow.

SquishyCinnamonSwirls Wed 15-Jun-11 16:21:27

I think you did well not to tell her to get her greedy mitts off the poor kids lunch! And then buying fags after sponging his lunch off you in the first place. I'd have asked her at the till for the cash back for the lunch tbh.
You were remarkably civil!

Sparkletastic Wed 15-Jun-11 16:22:10


SenoritaViva Wed 15-Jun-11 16:22:38

I can't believe this really happened?! She didn't really ask your DS to share his having eaten her sons? How ridiculous. There's something distinctly odd about her priorities.

PinotGrigiosKittens Wed 15-Jun-11 16:24:02

Umm, yeah.

MrSpoc Wed 15-Jun-11 16:24:18

Thats not fair on her son and I would go as far to say NEGLECT.

When she bought the fags did you say anything to her the greedy bitch.

queenbathsheba Wed 15-Jun-11 16:26:08

She sounds like an ignorant and selfish piece of........ How utterly miserable for her poor child. Some people just shouldn't have children.

paisleyII Wed 15-Jun-11 16:26:25

OMG - i was reading this with my head in my hands, what a fucking bitch, she doesn't deserve to be a mother. her poor son. i wonder if she looks how i picture her looking. i couldn't bear my kid being hungry, how could she stuff herself and let him go hungry, both when out AND again at home and she ponced money off you when she had her own. what a hateful old bag, i wish you had told her or is she scary?

badmummy101 Wed 15-Jun-11 16:26:48

while she was 'sharing' his lunch i thought, well maybe he has eaten, and she knows he wont eat it all. but as she demolished and he moaned i thought that he was actually hungry not just wanting maccies.
no way was my dc sharing, hell the little git wouldnt even give me a single chip!

NestaFiesta Wed 15-Jun-11 16:27:16

What total cow! You were far nicer than I would have been OP. I just can't believe some people. If you see her again tell her she owes you for his lunch. Two packets of fags is about £12 or £13 now isn't it? (Gave up six years ago when they were cheaper!). Keep an eye on that poor hungry boy.

badmummy101 Wed 15-Jun-11 16:28:11

what do you mean how you picture her paisleyII?
she isnt scary, the boys are not really friends, just a mum i say hi to. i thought it was weird she wanted to chat but put it down to that weird point where you are trying to make friends with other kids parents.

LineRunner Wed 15-Jun-11 16:29:17

If this is actually for real ......... then you should have challenged her on at least three separate occasions.

You really should have.

MrsTwinks Wed 15-Jun-11 16:29:27

MrSpoc, glad you went there first, for a moment I thought I was over-reacting in thinking that.

I honestly cant think of any reason to refuse a child food to eat if they are still hungry after a meal, and by the sounds of it begging for more, because they obviously werent filled by the meal. Thats despicable enough but add in taking his food and prioritising her caffeine and nicotine habits over her kid eating.

I can understand your reaction because I cant believe anyone would be so fucking blase about denying a child food. i mean omg what the hell... the mind boggles.

badmummy101 Wed 15-Jun-11 16:29:34

no idea how much fags cost tbh. i have never bought them. but i thought they were pretty ££. buying him a meal wasnt a prob, if he was hungry i was happy to do it. i felt bad my ds sitting eating when he wasnt.

queenbathsheba Wed 15-Jun-11 16:29:40

Like paisleyII I have a picture in my head. Maybe it's because we have all met people like this before.

Imnotaslimjim Wed 15-Jun-11 16:29:41

oh wow. She has serious issues with food! And no, yanbu for saying something. I would have done the same. How unfair on the poor little boy sad

catsmother Wed 15-Jun-11 16:29:46

If that's how it happened then judge away ...... Selfish, sponging, lying bitch !

Poor boy.

How on earth didn't you say anything when she bought 40 fags ? What's that these days ? .... £12/£13 ?

She's done you over and her attitude towards her son is appalling.

badmummy101 Wed 15-Jun-11 16:32:35

do you think there is any possiblilty that she has food issues? could that cloud her judgement to what is reasonable for a child to eat?

MrsTwinks Wed 15-Jun-11 16:34:55

I can imagine anyone with food issues reacting that way. Surely if you are trying to limit your childs diet for health reason you wouldnt let them eat mcdonalds iykwim. I think she just has straight selfishness issues

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