We have just had our 6th and last child. Even if we could afford it, which we couldnt because we cant afford to move to a bigger place and it would mean I couldnt go back to work for even longer plus general living costs etc, my health means I couldnt have another without suffering horribly. I was immobile for most of the last 3 pregnancies which wasnt fair on anyone but especially the other kids. The labour and birth was horrific and each one puts me at greater risk of PPH and other complications.
We agreed before she was born that she would be the last and he would have a vastectomy. But now she is here and a few people have said "ooh anymore?!" and I have said no and he has said...."probably not...." and looked a bit wistful. So I asked him about it and he said that if we could, he would love another. I kind of suspected this would happen but even if money wasnt an issue, I really couldnt go through that again and in his heart of hearts, I know he wouldnt ask me to, but wanting a child isnt that simple is it? Even when I know it is the wrong time or we cant afford it etc, I cant switch off being broody and I dont expect him to either.
We looked into failure rates, which are much higher for female sterilisation so that would worry me. I get pg very easily so I am not sure I would trust being sterilised and would want to use other contraception too, which makes it all rather pointless! As I said, I get pg easily but I dont hold onto them too well, I have m/c in the teens :( and each one is a knife in the heart and that was another big reason for us to get something permanent, we just cant go through yet another loss. We went through 4 to get this baby, and similar numbers to get the others.
So, all that in mind, AIBU to still want him to go ahead with the vasectomy? Or should I have yet another surgery (I have had alot in the last 10 years, which is one of the reasons he agreed to have it done) and get sterilised myself?
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Please
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AIBU?
to ask DH to have the vasectomy we agreed on even though he would like another DC?
73 replies
Bogeyface · 15/06/2011 00:32
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