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to think a 6yr old is too young to be able to get herself ready quickly in the mornings?

(40 Posts)
newfashionedmum Tue 14-Jun-11 21:51:09

My DP thinks DD messes about too much and I am too laid back with her (a bit true - I take ages to get ready in the mornings - but she takes nonchalance to a whole new level!). He thinks shouting at her when she messes about will teach her to be more considerate of other peoples timetables and that she needs to get a move on. I think she's too young to really learn anything from this and just gets upset.

AIBU to think we should just accept she's young enough to still need lots of help in the morning, and if not are there other ways of making it happen?

worraliberty Tue 14-Jun-11 21:52:56

She's more than old enough to follow a routine.

Do you have a clear routine in place? Does she know what's expected of her and when?

Oakmaiden Tue 14-Jun-11 21:58:10

My daughter was getting herself ready for school in good time at the age of 6 (well, getting washed and dressed). Although I still have to run around after her 13 year old brother...

I don't think she is too young for it, but at the same time I am certain that shouting at her is probably not going top resolve the situation. When my youngest two have gone through periods of not getting ready quickly enough then I have found incentives work well - offering them something they really like to do if they have got ready quickly enough to have time. You do need to make sure you are building enough time into the morning to let things get done at a not to frantic pace though.

bigTillyMint Tue 14-Jun-11 21:58:37

You don't need to shout if you get a routine going. And yes, you can still help her, but gradually wean off so that she learns some self-management skills.

As long as you aren't late for school or other stuff, and you don't mind waiting gfor her, then it's not really a big issue.

PaperView Tue 14-Jun-11 21:59:34

She's not too young to know that you can piss about after you are dressed if there is enough time.

WowOoo Tue 14-Jun-11 22:03:29

Ds1 has just turned 5 and gets himself ready bar teeth brushing and pouring milk.
No need to shout though.
Get a little list for dd and you and dh to go through in mornings?

Eat, wash, get dressed, get bag ready, chill for bit, teeth, go!

Fresh01 Tue 14-Jun-11 22:05:35

Do you have the TV on in the mornings? We have a no TV rule after 7.30am as we need to leave the house by 8.30am. They are allowed to watch it between 7-7.30am whilst I am getting ready, if they aren't playing. If it goes on once we have gone downstairs it slows everything down and breakfast/dressing can take forever.

whydobirdssuddenlyappear Tue 14-Jun-11 22:06:23

I don't think 6 is too young to be able to get dressed quickly, no (both my 6yo ds and 3yo dd can manage it), however 6 is possibly too young to be capable of doing it reliably and without getting distracted along the way. DS CAN get dressed in about 30 seconds flat if I'm in the room with him. Equally, if I'm not, I can be downstairs for half an hour, and go back upstairs to find him sitting on the floor in his pants, reading a book...
Can you get her to get dressed in whichever room you're in at the time, so you can encourage/chivvy as necessary?

clayre Tue 14-Jun-11 22:10:54

My ds 6 can make is breakfast, sometimes even eats said breakfast! Jump in the shower and get dressed without any shouting or prompting, i also have an 8yo dd and she knows and follows the morning routine, there is a bit ofa bribe thou as they know if they get to school with minimal fuss mon- thurs they will get money for snack on a friday!

xstitch Tue 14-Jun-11 22:12:25

You'd love me confused. My mum tells me I am too strict. I tried the laid back approach and not pushing routine and dd took 45min with one sock so I went back to firm encouragement. I am not prepared to get up at 4am to get ready for school when I know she can get dressed in a decent time frame.

RhinestoneCowgirl Tue 14-Jun-11 22:13:03

On school days I insist that DS (nearly 5) gets dressed before we go downstairs for breakfast. He has learnt that if he does it quickly he can go downstairs with DH and eat with him. There are mornings however when I come out of the shower to find him naked and building a lego sculpture.

About 15 mins before aiming to leave I give the jumper/shoes warning to him while I get D (2yrs) ready. Usually this means he is ready to go by 8.30, but does involve some bellowing of 'shoes!

cat64 Tue 14-Jun-11 22:15:11

Message withdrawn

CocktailQueen Tue 14-Jun-11 22:15:17

Nah, my dd got dressed and teeth brushed and face washed by herself at 6. She needed help to remember all her school stuff tho - bag, lunch, drink...

whydobirdssuddenlyappear Tue 14-Jun-11 22:16:50

Rhinestone, you could be describing my ds there. 3yo dd is more reliable than he is when it comes to getting herself ready quickly. Although occasionally she puts her pants on wrong.

AbigailS Tue 14-Jun-11 22:21:28

Do you mean you help your 6 year old dress in the mornings? Hope not. As a teacher you won't believe the number of children who either can't change for PE and swimming or take ages. When talking to them I find mummy does it for them at home. Its not really suprising that they hold the class up or get upset when all their friends are ready before them if they don't get the chance to practise at home.

fluffygal Tue 14-Jun-11 22:29:30

My 3 yr old, 2x 4 yr olds and 5 yr old all have to get ready themselves. Everything except breakfast and DD's hair is done by them. They can watch tv as soon as they are completely ready, including shoes on. I do call up to them to make sure they are roughly getting things done in a timely fashion, and they have an hour to get ready.

newfashionedmum Tue 14-Jun-11 22:30:36

Just to clarify, yes she CAN dress herself, make her own breakfast, brush her teeth, get her bags ready. Its just that she daydreams and is really easily distracted.
I may try some of the ideas eg - get dressed before breakfast, get to eat breakfast with mummy. Or get dressed with me when I do so she's not in her room being distracted by all the lovely shiny things smile

cazzybabs Tue 14-Jun-11 22:32:09

My 6 year old (and her older sister (9) and her younger sister (3) ) all get themselves ready in the mornings and their school starts stupidly earlier (we need to leave by 8)

Meglet Tue 14-Jun-11 22:33:30

My 4yo can get himself dressed very quickly if he puts his mind to it. If he fannys about, which is most days, I shout.

newfashionedmum Tue 14-Jun-11 22:33:37

grin realise i sound a bit 'competitive mum' there. "yes she CAN also do algebra and site read music, its just she prefers to play creatively with her fluffy kittens and play doh"

WowOoo Tue 14-Jun-11 22:38:55

Yes, threaten somewhere with no shiny lovely things. In our house, if he's not ready by a certain time he has to go and get dressed in the bathroom by himself. (Have tried garden but he ends up very distracted by mud, shells, shovels and stuff.!)

AbigailS Tue 14-Jun-11 22:42:04

So she CAN do it but you feel "she still need lots of help in the morning"? That feels like a contradiction? Or do you mean she needs some help from you by establishing a routine that she HAS to follow and can't expect you to do it for her if she doesn't want to do it herself?

leelo Tue 14-Jun-11 22:43:39

my daughter is 6 and i hovered over her and did it all for her which now means that she struggles to get her socks or tights by herself. i'm trying to let her do more for herself. but when it gets to 20mins til bell time i tell her time to move or you will be late. my son is 2 and i'm trying to encourage him to try and do things for himself so i don't repeat my mistake on him.

newfashionedmum Tue 14-Jun-11 23:01:48

..Abigail, she has a routine and has had for years - but still gets distracted in the middle of things.. Eating breakfast, putting her socks on, brushing her teeth, etc etc

justaboutWILLfinishherthesis Tue 14-Jun-11 23:07:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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