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To not want my friend to come and stay for a month

(95 Posts)
veritythebrave Mon 13-Jun-11 20:00:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

veritythebrave Mon 13-Jun-11 20:01:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoMeDon Mon 13-Jun-11 20:03:50

YANBU - tell her you cannot afford it, it is inconvenient and you said a weekend not a month. Why are you friends? You say she is great but list quite a lot of things which would put me off this friend.

squeakytoy Mon 13-Jun-11 20:04:20

Can she afford to pay you towards her keep?. It would be very bloody rude to expect you to provide for her for a month.

Where is she coming from? Can she change her flights easily.

I would certainly say to her that she will have to pay her way and you cant afford to feed her and her kid.

ENormaSnob Mon 13-Jun-11 20:04:49

shock

yanbu

I wouldn't have anyone to stay for a month, let alone someone who was expecting me to finance that month.

Cheeky cow.

veritythebrave Mon 13-Jun-11 20:04:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoMeDon Mon 13-Jun-11 20:06:23

That makes her someone you've known a long time not a great friend!

I really think that as life goes on we should evaluate our relationships and cut out the dead wood. Does she qualify?

StayFrosty Mon 13-Jun-11 20:06:41

shock

Move house. Don't tell her.

veritythebrave Mon 13-Jun-11 20:07:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare Mon 13-Jun-11 20:07:28

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bellavita Mon 13-Jun-11 20:08:52

Oh Verity, you are just going to have to tell her.

I think MadamD's suggestion of what you say is ideal.

Does she know you are having surgery?

Lunabelly Mon 13-Jun-11 20:09:34

MadamDeathStare's suggestion is pure genius.

sparkle12mar08 Mon 13-Jun-11 20:10:03

MadamDS has it - you need to respond very quickly and firmly, lying if necessary. Something minor-ish that lends itself to the situation but which is otherwise incredibly painful, enough to justify no visitors - ingowing toenail, bunion surgery, gall bladder, something like that?

DoMeDon Mon 13-Jun-11 20:10:25

MDS has hit nail on head there - brill!

YellowDinosaur Mon 13-Jun-11 20:10:39

I would tell her that you invited her for a weekend so to let you know which weekend she is coming for during her months holiday. When she says she is planning on staying for a month I would say something like 'No really? We can't possibly put you up for a month because we can't afford it and I am having surgery during the month you are here'

Job done.

You invited her for a WEEKEND not a MONTH - so stick to your guns!

squeakytoy Mon 13-Jun-11 20:11:04

Flights to spain are usually frequent and fairly cheap too.

I think you have to be honest with her and tell her you are very sorry but she cant stay for that length of time, and you had never said she could.

SHe will have to change her return flight, it is easy enough to do.

YellowDinosaur Mon 13-Jun-11 20:11:23

cross posted with Madamedeathstare - great minds grin

sparkle12mar08 Mon 13-Jun-11 20:11:29

Shit sorry, didn't read your OP properly! Just go with MadamDS exactly then x

Rosemallow Mon 13-Jun-11 20:11:41

Can't put it better than madamdeathstare!

veritythebrave Mon 13-Jun-11 20:12:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jajas Mon 13-Jun-11 20:12:56

MadamD is spot on.

DO NOT allow her to stay for a month you will end up hating her! We had a male friend (Australian) who came for what I thought was a weekend and ended up being 6 weeks! He ate all our food, drank all our drink, used all the hot water, got up before us and went to bed after us - he drove me up the bloody wall and I had to get my DH to ask him to leave in the end as he was clearly far too comfortable in our house angry!

TakeMeDrunkImHome Mon 13-Jun-11 20:13:47

With squaytoy here - frequent and pretty good value flights to and from Spain, no reason she can't change BUT MDS has written a perfect response to your "friend".

squeakytoy Mon 13-Jun-11 20:13:48

Verity, I think you might have to tell her it isnt convenient for her to stay at all. Otherwise she might just turn up for the weekend and settle herself in for longer.

Its not your fault or problem if she loses out on her air fare.

TakeMeDrunkImHome Mon 13-Jun-11 20:14:07

squeakytoy blush

EricNorthmansMistress Mon 13-Jun-11 20:14:37

Is it a plane or airfare?

Nobody invites themself for a month with their child when they were invited for a weekend. Either you're 'aving us on or she's a massive blagger and you need to tell her she cannot stay for a month. Unless you are happy for her to stay if she contributes financially - in which case ask her. You need to put your foot down on the internet. Just assert yourself.

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