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AIBU?

(Warning judgeypants well and truly applied) to think that missing school because of a pop concert is totally out of order

115 replies

Northernlurker · 13/06/2011 18:52

Dd has just mentioned in passing that one of her friends wasn't at school today because she went to the Summertime Ball concert in London. Apparently she missed the train this morning and so didn't make it to school. I have a number of v judgey issues with this:

Attending a concert on a school night
Missing a train that is needed to get her to school - she is 13. She hasn't missed the train, the adults she was with have failed to ensure she caught it.
Missing a full day of school - there are lots of trains - why on earth didn't she get a later one and still make it to school.

If an employee did this I would be hugely pissed off with them. Where on earth have this girl's parents got the idea that missing the whole day because of this is at all ok?

Or am I being a miserable sourpuss judgeypants cow?

OP posts:

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Olivetti · 13/06/2011 18:54

Can't really see why it's causing such a strong reaction in you. If she's truanting all the time, that's a different issue, but I can't see that a one-off is cause for a hissy-fit. And I don't see a problem with doing things on a school night, once in a while.

worraliberty · 13/06/2011 18:55

At 13 she shouldn't need an adult to ensure she catches a train.

The rest..well I'm not really giving a crap about to be honest. I thought from your title you were saying she stayed off school to attend the concert.

For all I know she may have near on 100% attendance.

thekidsmom · 13/06/2011 18:55

Her parents may not even know yet she missed the train. They may have left for work before she got up. Tough, but happens.

That said, I agree there are lots of trains - better late than never!

But no concerts on school nights? No, I'm happy with that for my kids - summertime ball is only once a year, and for a 13 year old, there are no big exams this half term so why not live a little?

cannydoit · 13/06/2011 18:56

school is everyday the concert is a memory she will have for life.

GooGooGadget · 13/06/2011 18:57

you are being a bit miserable about it, and very venty seeing as it's not your DC.

K999 · 13/06/2011 18:59

She's only 13. Missing one day of school won't hurt surely? And agree with Canydoit re the point of lasting memories of the concert.

stoatie · 13/06/2011 19:00

Judge me then. DD1 for Robbie Williams, DD1 and DS missed school to see Take That , and DS will miss one day soon to see Take That again. Judge my taste in music if you want. The days in question were not in key exam times, they have had no other time off other than sickness (about one day every two years) and for their uncles funeral . I think the concerts are an experience and we were not able to get tickets at weekend. I would do the same again.

applechutney · 13/06/2011 19:02

I'm afraid I agree with the other posters. She missed one day of school - hardly the end of the world. She will probably have wonderful memories of the concert - at 13 that's such a special treat.

why do you even care?

mrsravelstein · 13/06/2011 19:04

i remember back in the dim and distant past, 2 of my close friends missing a day of school to go to wimbledon... we were all very jealous of them... i don't think missing the odd day of school is a real problem

Rainydaze · 13/06/2011 19:05

A planned day off school to see Take That??! Is it legal? To plan a day off school to see a pop band? I'm genuinely amazed.

EmilyHallow · 13/06/2011 19:05

I personally am not against concerts or special events on school nights. As cannydoit said, it's a memory they'll have forever, and at 13 there aren't any crucial exams or schoolwork that she'll have to catch up on. In fact, my DD1 and I were in a similar situation recently when she had tickets for a Katy Perry concert at the O2 in London. We live in Cambridge, and at 12 she's at the age where I'm okay with her getting the train down with a few friends as it is not too far away. She left immediately after school and had a fun night.
I wouldn't have been too worried about her missing a few hours of school, but as it happened she had plenty of time, leaving at 4pm. I can appreciate that some people live further away and therefore would have to leave earlier. For a 13-year-old girl, there shouldn't be anything vital at school that she couldn't miss, or where it would matter if she was a little tired the next day. Life's too short :)

GypsyMoth · 13/06/2011 19:05

At 13 she will be able to catch up with a days missed work won't she!?

ChopMonster · 13/06/2011 19:08

At 13 she is capable of getting herself to school, no adults required. She should've caught a later train though.

She didn't miss school to go to the concert. Even if she had I'm not sure I'd be too bothered.

JamieAgain · 13/06/2011 19:08

I agree with you OP. It's the principle of the thing. Yes, missing one day of school is neither here nor there in the grand scheme of things, but it is a bit dismissive of school and everyone else who bothers to get there or teach there.

I wouldn't ever say anything about it in RL, but inside I'd judge, oh yes.

therealmrsbeckham · 13/06/2011 19:09

You'll need to judge me too. I'm taking DD to see Take That at the end of this month and she will miss a day of school.

She is a year 6 and has never missed a day for anything other than illness since reception. She's just completed her KS2 SATS and deserves a treat. School are happy so why should it be anybody elses buisness?

mossip · 13/06/2011 19:10

I can't help thinking - what business is it of yours. Stop worrying about what everybody else is doing. If the school has a problem, no doubt they'll speak to the parent.

gallifrey · 13/06/2011 19:10

Judge me then, we are having the day off school on friday to go and see JLS!

Rainydaze · 13/06/2011 19:10

I can understand that the parents in the OP weren't taking the DD out of school for the day, but just messed up getting her back in time, but actually planning on taking DC out of school for the day to see a pop band seems ridiculous to me. Why can't they go to the concert outside of school time? Throughout my teens I went all over the place watching bands, but I never missed any time of school for it. My parents wouldn't have let me anyway!

GrungeBlobPrimpants · 13/06/2011 19:12

I think it's bang out of order too but then I'm an old frump like that
Dunno about seeing Take That as a lasting treasured memory. For me, that would be the equivalent of me seeing Bay City Rollers (which were the '70's equivalent for you young whippersnappers ) and spending the rest of my adult life keeping such a hideous memory in the darkest recess of my damaged mind

Hulababy · 13/06/2011 19:13

My 9y DD missed two hours of school on Monday as we'd been to a festival all weekend and had got back really lae, so I let her sleep in. She then got up, ate, showered and went in to school. She has had very little time off schoo, such as for illness and I have never taken her out for a holiday.

Most employees would not have this issue as they could book time off.

Fortunately for us our local TT concert fell in half term. Would I haveallowed her to miss some time from school in order to go with me? Possibly yes. It's a one off pretty much and I'd make sure she;d catch up on anything she was missing.

TheFlyingOnion · 13/06/2011 19:13

a big fat "so what"? from me I'm afraid (and I'm a teacher).

Why do you care?

Northernlurker · 13/06/2011 19:14

Why do I care? Because I'm in a judgey mood
She has missed school because of the concert and tbh I'm not really buying the once in a lifetime memories thing. That wouldn't wash with an older person who failed to turn up to work would it?

Will fully accept I'm being grumpy about it and yes it's unlikely to do permanent harm - excpet in erosion of respect for the importance of being where you are supposed to be.

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3littlefrogs · 13/06/2011 19:15

Dd went to summertime ball with her friend. They had a great time. They came home (with me) on the tube and were up at 07.00 this morning and inschool by 08.30. If they had indicated there might be an issue with getting to school today, they would have had to reconsider attending the event.

I do think the organisers should have tried to hold the event on a Saturday though.

Hulababy · 13/06/2011 19:15

Rainydaze - why would it be illegal? Depending on school ad the head's discretion it may or may not go down as unauthorised, just like any other "holiday" request. But illegal? Doubt it.

lalalonglegs · 13/06/2011 19:16

I'm taking two of mine out of school for the day to go surfing - is that better or worse than taking them to a concert ?

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