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to phone DHs boss and tell him to fuck right off

(73 Posts)
ThatVikRinA22 Mon 13-Jun-11 18:00:23

DH has worked for the same employers for over 15 years, but been with the company 20, his boss took over 15 years ago.

he has been manager for 15 years.

lately, his boss has been nit picking at every single thing, second guessing his decisions, pulling him down in front of colleagues, belittling him, phoning him at home out of work hours, even phoning him about work the day of his fathers funeral a few weeks ago....) that sort of thing. The company is struggling, and i am wondering if they are trying to get DH to leave to save his wage. Last time this happened DH asked boss if he was after his notice to which he replied that was for him to decide....

last week an employee asked for a weeks holiday - dh said no problem - this employee has just had a cancer scare, DH covers holiday leave which means he has this week had to go in and cover 2 night shifts, which is what he has done for the last 20 years - nothing different to normal. They pulled him apart about this decision last week - saying it was too short notice to allow the employee the holiday leave - DH said it wasnt as it wouldnt cause any problems at all - and it hasnt. No one else was off and the employee is entitled to his annual leave - so dh let him have it. no problems.

today, his boss stooped to a new low. He called him at home, this morning (dh had been working all night and is in again tonight) and i could hear him yelling and shouting at DH. DH stayed calm and asked what the problem was. he got no answer, just more incoherent ranting, again he asked what the problem was - boss shouts that he should be at work, NOW. DH tried to explain that he was covering nights - he got shouted down again (i could hear all this as his boss was shouting so loudly) it angered me so much i started shouting, asking what the hell he thought he was doing phoning DH at home? (i know his boss really well as i used to work there - he is a bully boy, and i left after a couple of years of it - i threw something at him and walked after he did the same thing to me in front of a shop full of people)

He had absolutely no need to do this. DH said he couldnt carry on like this, his boss raged some more and put the phone down. DH has absolutely no idea what any of it was about. I suspect something had maybe gone wrong and he was looking for his whipping boy - ie - my dh

I am still so annoyed about it. I am sure that they are doing their best to get DH to walk or give notice. He is close to going. I advised getting signed off but he wont do that - work ethic and all that - he has only taken 4 days sick in 20 years.
If they drive him out im thinking this is constructive dismal? He is doing nothing differently to the last 15 years that they have happily let him run his dept. He has no pay rise in the last 5 years. He works like a trooper, does exactly what is required and nothing has altered except their attitude toward him.

I want to phone the fuckwit up. preferably in the dead of night when he is sleeping and see how he likes being woken by a ranty fucker...i am being unreasonable no?

i know it wont help but omg i would feel better...

Katisha Mon 13-Jun-11 18:02:29

ANy senior manager DH can talk to? HR? Bullying at work is taken seriously in most companies.

Euphemia Mon 13-Jun-11 18:03:22

He needs to catalogue every incident: date, time, what was said/done, witnesses.

Then speak to HR/his trades union.

Beamur Mon 13-Jun-11 18:03:24

Is he in a Union?
I'd definitely be trying to get some good advice from someone who knows about employment law. This sounds like harassment to me.

Euphemia Mon 13-Jun-11 18:04:20

Oh and YABU to get involved: this must go through official channels.

PotteringAlong Mon 13-Jun-11 18:05:18

It won't help, no, but I think you know that!

The only thing I know about constructive dismissal is that you have to resign before you can take it to a tribunal so it's something that needs very careful consuderation.

Do you have an answer phone at home you can record call on (although I'm not sure if that's legal?!) as a record?

ScarlettIsWalking Mon 13-Jun-11 18:05:40

That is horrific and I would get legal advice.

ThatVikRinA22 Mon 13-Jun-11 18:07:53

unfortunately not - its a small company and his boss is the owner of the company (husband and wife team)
my dh is very placid and doesn't retaliate, so they seem to think they can call him whatever they like and he should take it or leave.

its a bakery. he runs the production side, two shifts, a night and a day shift - he cannot be there 24hours a day but if anything goes wrong its always on the shift he isnt on and then they do this) they run the shops and wholesale. My dh is always getting phone calls at home from the staff - it annoys me but this today took the fucking biscuit. Yesterday DH found some cakes in a shop that had been there 5 fucking weeks....have they bollocked their preciious fucking manageress of the shop? noooooo.
no doubt they will tell him thats his fault too.

ENormaSnob Mon 13-Jun-11 18:08:02

Document everything.

Speak to hr and union.

Consider speaking to a lawyer.

Look into constructive dismissal.

FoofffyShmoofffer Mon 13-Jun-11 18:09:50

Vicar, I can totally feel it for you. On behalf of your husband I imagine you want to strangle the bastard.

Yanbu for feeling this way but please don't do anything yourself. as Euphemia said.
If you can go through official channels then do it that way.

ThatVikRinA22 Mon 13-Jun-11 18:10:24

no union.
no HR. there is no where he can go with this. all he could do is leave, which i suspect is what they are after.

CurrySpice Mon 13-Jun-11 18:10:38

It sounds awful OP but no matter how tempting it is, you know you have to stay out of it (apart from supporting your DH of course)

ENormaSnob Mon 13-Jun-11 18:11:51

Speak to a lawyer then.

OddBoots Mon 13-Jun-11 18:13:57

Your dh should document it and ask for a copy of the grievance procedure which should be available regardless of the size of the company.

Directgov

acas

karmakameleon Mon 13-Jun-11 18:14:35

Go on the Employment boards and ask for advice there. I'd suggest documenting everything and speaking to a solicitor about constructive dismissal. They can't act like this.

ThatVikRinA22 Mon 13-Jun-11 18:18:00

i may be able to get access to legal advice through my employment, i have some insurance - i wonder if it covers legal advice.....ill dig it out.

i am still so angry about the whole sodding episode, it s wound me up so much because its so unjust.

if he was so crap at his job why wait 15 years to tell him? i really did go off on one and he could hear me in the background....but DH just wont bite back....i found from working there if you round on him he backs down just like a typical bully.

i dont know why DH takes it. i wouldnt be spoken to in my own home by someone like that. good job i didnt answer the phone.....

MoreBeta Mon 13-Jun-11 18:18:18

He must document everything and do it now while fresh in his memory. Dates, times, everything.

He is not to be treated this way. If he is stressed get a doctor to sign him off work. The firm may well be struggling financially hence the stress his boss is under. Hence I would be looking for another job and getting advice on contructive dismisal - although if the firm goes bust he won't get compensation even if he won at a tribunal.

justpaddling Mon 13-Jun-11 18:19:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoreBeta Mon 13-Jun-11 18:20:04

The fact he has worked there 15/20 years makes it very difficult to sack him for poor performance and expensive to make him redundant.

ThatVikRinA22 Mon 13-Jun-11 18:25:17

DH is the highest paid there - having been there 20 years and having a managerial post.

they told him they are going to "renegotiate his contract" when the new national minimum wage comes in - they claim they cannot afford the increases year on year for the shop staff - DH hasnt had a pay rise for 5 years as it is - can this be done - can they renegotiate his contract? that will mean only one thing.
i know they want rid of him. its so bloody obvious. Yet he works all hours - he is there now until 1am, will be back tomorrow on a night shift, then will be up at 2am for work at 3am....he has no set hours - he works whatever he has to suit the business as it is.

i want him to leave so badly, but he has looked weekly for another job - they just are not there. Bakers are earning national minimum wage, which is bloody ridiculous considering the workload and the antisocial hours.He cant afford to drop to national min, and i think he has had enough of the bakery industry anyway. Its such a shame - he is a craft baker, he can do everything from scratch by hand, and no one wants that anymore - they want someone who can switch on a machine for £6 an hour....
i just dont know what to advise him - he is clearly unhappy and im angry for him. He puts everything into that bloody place and for what - to be insulted in his own home while trying to sleep.

justpaddling Mon 13-Jun-11 18:31:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThatVikRinA22 Mon 13-Jun-11 18:44:12

they are stuggling financially on a way bigger scale than saving a few k a year will make.

no point in setting up alone. costs too high and bakeries are going out of business left right and centre.

the thing is my dh does a lot of stuff they wont want to do themselves. if anything goes wrong he goes in and sorts it - day or night. cant see them wanting to emerge from their ivory tower to do the same somehow. he isnt just a baker - he is a manager, he sorts out the staff, admin, all the other things that go with his job.

he needs out there is no denying that. but we live in a region which has been decimated by job cuts and unemployment. There really are no jobs. I wouldnt care what he did if he was happier and less put upon.

ThatVikRinA22 Mon 13-Jun-11 18:45:31

im stepping away for a min - its wine o clock and i need to eat....

ThatVikRinA22 Mon 13-Jun-11 18:51:05

oh and another thing.....he completely re organised the whole system there, re planned the whole bakery, moved all the machinery etc himself, to make it more efficient. the way production is run is entirely down to him, they run at a shoe string on minimum staffing because thats what they wanted. he delivered all the cuts they needed. the shout jump and he says how high and he always makes it work, even when its meant doing more himself, working more hours, training staff etc....

they have simply used him up. and now they want rid to save a few pounds, but its the way they are going about it that is winding me up. they are totally and utterly shredding any confidence he had.

BlooferLady Mon 13-Jun-11 18:51:41

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I have no words of advice to add, but know the pain of seeing a DH being pissed on by an employer (different situation here, as it's everyone 'on the ground' being pissed on, so it isn't personal which much be far worse - but still no union and no recourse, and you feel really helpless).

Best of luck to you both. And NO to phoning up and ranting, but you know that really...

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