I was exactly the same when I had to have a general to remove my gall bladder when dd was little. I'd had one before for her c-section and was fine but it's when you know that you are now responsible for them, it's really scary.
The anaethetist will chat to you (tell him your fears) and explain everything. They really won't give you the GA if there's any contra-indication and once you're under they monitor you the whole time.
One thing I did do for two ops after DCs was to write them a letter to keep and to read when they were older in case I shouldn't come round. I know it sounds a bit morbid but it made me feel a bit better.
Could you write a similar thing/poem etc for your dd?
Also - if you've not made a will, could you make one quickly before the op (with a solicitor, not a home will, stating that you want your dd to go to your parents if something should happen?
Hope it all goes okay for you - I'm sure it will be fine.
I was the same too... Prior to DD, I wasn't the least bit bothered but I had an operation in February and was terrified. I'm a single parent and I was so worried that "something" would happen and she would be left all alone. I was fine, obviously.
Would it help if you put something in writing about the care of your DD? Not that anaesthetics are unsafe, far from it, but maybe it would help you feel better prior to your OP. Sorry if that sounds clumsy
Are your parents looking after DD while you are in hospital? It will be fine but I know what you mean, I had an anaesthetic last month and was terrified I would die and leave DH alone. Good luck, we'll be thinking of you! x
If you write that down and get it signed by an independent witness (not your mum or dad) then I think it could still be accepted by a court. Not that you'll need this, you'll be ok, but once you've got the op out of the way, maybe get legal advice about a will? I don't mean to be negative, but you're right to not want ex-p involved with your DD.
"my mum is coming to our house to have her, Ive told her if I die not to tell him seeing he only comes twice a year he wont find out for months and by that time dd will be settled and happy with them and judge wont want to uproot her again."
That is a great safeguard I think. I would also write a letter expressing all of your concerns, just in case you ever do pass away while she is under 18. He sounds like a rotten father.
However, regarding your surgery....remind yourself of tiny newborn babies undergoing open heart surgery. If they can survive, so can you. It is normal to worry, but it is very very unlikely anything will happen to you. Good luck!
I had my gall bladder removed last year and a minor op which required a GA in Feb and both times I was terrified about it all. My friend has had 39 GA's and says she always goes in thinking this will be the one which kills her, so it makes me think as a parent it is a natural worry and nothing any one says will relieve it. But try not to get too stressed as it affected my BP quite badly during the op and after. ((((hugs)))
I'm glad that you will know your DD is with people she knows well and loves, that should hopefully help you feel a bit better. Definitely tell the staff at the hospital about your worries, they were great with me when I told them how nervous I felt. I know nothing will make the worry go away but be as gentle on yourself as you can. Good luck! x