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to be wondering if others would be a bit miffed at this too...

(4 Posts)
borderlineoffended Sun 12-Jun-11 21:10:33

DD is nearly 2. Went on maternity leave (obviously enough) just over 2 year ago. Colleague had baby about four months after me. Prior to us having our babies we would chat regularly online for hours, go out for tea, had been out drinking a few times.. so we were friendly but it was still mostly "worky" type stuff with some chit chat about other things, particularly planning to get pregnant etc.

Anyway, while she was on mat leave we saw eachother very regularly indeed and I thought we had become quite good friends if I'm to be honest, didn't really see her as a colleague at all anymore to be honest.

We both went back to work when our babies were about one give or take (so a year ago for me, now nine months for her), and went to work in different parts of the company on reduced hours, so our paths cross less in work.

In the first three months she was back at work, I didn't really hear from her at all. I thought little of it - it can be hard to transition back, I found it so - and expected I'd hear more from her as time went on. After about three months, there was a run of a few weeks where she did call/text and try to meet up and it was business as usual as far as I was concerned.

However this weekend, I noticed on fb that she was having a get together and some other colleagues were going but I wasn't invited. And when I thought about it, I haven't actually heard from her in ages and I have texted her and had no responses or delayed responses etc.

I don't think we fell out or anything like that. I think, in the cold light of day, that really she used me as a "mummy friend" when she was bored on mat leave but actually didn't see us as friends at all. She was happy to have me to hang out with but now she has little need to be friends with me at work and presumably has mummy friends that are more interesting at home.

I suppose it's life, but would it annoy you? I feel like I've been dumped!

sprinkles77 Sun 12-Jun-11 21:24:32

YANBU to feel the way you do. Still, who needs a "friend" like her?

microserf Sun 12-Jun-11 21:28:32

yep, i'd be miffed. not the end of the world, but certainly not a nice way to behave. i agree with sprinkles77 though.

redwineformethanks Sun 12-Jun-11 21:51:00

I wouldn't take it too personally. There are lots of people I used to see regularly that I now don't see much of. Sometimes friendships move on. Sounds like you're both busy with your own families and your lives just don't coincide so much

I used to get very upset about that type of thing so I do sympathise but now I try not to take it as a personal affront. It's much nicer if you can believe that your friendship was important and special at the time but then fizzled out a bit rather than thinking that you were never special

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