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to think that DH should alsohelp DD with homework...not just me?

(10 Posts)
MumblingRagDoll Sun 12-Jun-11 13:42:05

DH works three night shifts a week midnight to 7.30am and is very tired for a day or so after that...but he does his share of housework....I work on average 4 to 5 evenings a week on my own business...and do the bulk of the childcare for the 2 DDs...school pick up and drop off, toddler group etc...DD1 is 6 and has a lot of hw every week...it's a nightly thing...reading book and worksheets or writing project...weekends we generally have spellings, 10 sentence to write, reading book plus a worksheet or book report..it's a lot...DD hates it and I struggle with her alone.

DH never mucks in...I keep asking him to help her with time-telling and he nevr does...so I have been nagging...then I think...."Oh just do it yourself!"

I have to nag DD to do her HW...why should I effing nag DH to give his share of help to her? I am UP TO HERE WITH IT!

mamas12 Sun 12-Jun-11 13:45:29

Hmm homework is there to support the classroom learning, if your dd can't do it you need to talk to the tacher but if she won't do it that;s another thing altogether isn't it.
Have a family meeting about over luch and work out a schedule and stick to it get your dd on board, say to dh your turn to help me today daddy etc.

MumblingRagDoll Sun 12-Jun-11 13:48:58

Oh that's another thread mamas...we ALL know what it's there for....she can do it but after a busy week she doesn't want to. She's 6....I have to cajole and threaten.

ilovesooty Sun 12-Jun-11 13:51:08

I think he should muck in and support you: YANBU.

DoMeDon Sun 12-Jun-11 13:53:25

Just to clarify - is it just the 3 night shifts a week he does or other work/childcare?

Sounds like you all hate the homework thing, not conducive to DD taking a shine to it. That's not a criticism of you btw - my mum hated helping me with homework and it always descended into a row. In the end she went to the school and explained she wouldn't be helping me anymore as I got a book round the head - they let me do it in break time instead. Not a solution but just letting you know I do understand how stressful it can be for all involved.

DH should be glad to help his DD - bit sad he isn't volunteering.

IgnoringTheChildren Sun 12-Jun-11 13:58:32

Well when my DSs start school my DH will be helping with the hw (probably not a 50:50 split as I doubt his job will allow for it) as it's down to both parents to support the education of their DC. However if either of my DSs ends up with the amount of hw you describe at 6 years old I will also be complaining to the school! bloody stupid teachers setting primary pupils hw just because some parents and OFSTED expect it

Don't know how best to motivate your DH into helping more though... With your DD could you try more positive reinforcement for doing her hw rather than nagging? Eg a sticker (or counter of some kind) every day she does the work when asked without making a fuss (do you try to get her to do the work at a set time each day?) and then a reward (watching a film/going somewhere at the weekend/chocolate?) once she's collected a set number of stickers. Plus plenty of praise of course!

MumblingRagDoll Sun 12-Jun-11 14:02:17

DH thinks we should leave her to face the consequences of not doing it....Ie a talking to from her teacher about making more effort. But I think it's our job to get her into the habit of self management.

DoMeDon it's just three night shifts...he is starting a new job soon as he doesn't function well on no sleep.

Amaretti Sun 12-Jun-11 14:05:11

It is your job to do that, definitely. Sympathy.

DoMeDon Sun 12-Jun-11 14:06:22

It's not no sleep though is it - it's 3 nights - only 7 & half hours and he has all day to sleep!?! confused Glad he is getting new job if it doesn't suit though.

I agree about teaching self management but the irony is in the 'self' part, she will have to muck up and face consequences if it doesn't sink in naturally. She is only 6 though fgs - all need encouragement. he should be more concerned with helping and making it fun, than harsh life lessons hmm

Amaretti Sun 12-Jun-11 14:13:34

Your as in, plural your, not just you!

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