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or a bit morbid, or do you worry about this?

(39 Posts)
exhausted2011 Sat 11-Jun-11 23:52:56

On my own with DS.
What happens if I die during the night?
Or what happens if I fall down the stairs, knock myself unconscious and die.

Chances are, it won't happen, but it would probably take people a couple of days to get worried if they hadn't heard from me.

Poor DS would be traumatised.
Should I teach him how to call 999?

Am I overreacting, or being stupid?
I'm deadly serious, it's upsetting me actually

exhausted2011 Sat 11-Jun-11 23:53:39

He's 3.7 btw!

awakenings Sat 11-Jun-11 23:54:14

yes I do to

OpusProSerenus Sat 11-Jun-11 23:56:14

Not morbid, quite normal. When my DCs were young I had an arrangement with a neighbour that when our DHs were working away we would ring each other in the morning to confirm all ok.

It's a normal "motherly" thing to worry about things that may never happen. I taught mine about emergencies when they were old enough to understand without being scared. Luckily never needed it!

NearlySpring Sat 11-Jun-11 23:58:32

Yes you should teach him to ring 999.

Also, yes it's a normal thing to worry about. But he's old enough to dial 999 in an emergency and probably old enough to open the front door and knock for a neighbour to help.

AgentZigzag Sun 12-Jun-11 00:00:01

You're not being morbid or unreasonable, I used to keep my phone about me so if I fell down the stairs and couldn't get help I could ring someone.

But it turned out to just be a 'phase' and I forgot about it in the end.

If you see it as something you're not going to always feel the same about long term, and try not to entrench yourself too much in the routine of thinking in that way, you'll probably just relax about it in time.

I think at just over three you can teach the DC to do basic stuff, but without frightening them of course.

Is there anything that's set you off feeling like this do you think?

portaloo Sun 12-Jun-11 00:01:28

I worry about this too. I am on my own with my 2.10yr old DD alot, and if I were to die in the night, she cannot even climb out of her cotbed on her own without alot of difficulty. She would have to get down the stairs in a big grobag, so again, difficult, then attract attention, without hurting herself. She has no idea how to use the phone, let alone dial 999, and cannot even reach the front/back door handle to let anyone in even if she were to attract any attention.
We have been known to go without seeing anyone for a week.
I try not to think about it, because it must be one of the most traumatic disturbing situations for a child to deal with. <<shudder>>

thursday Sun 12-Jun-11 00:05:22

yeah i do that, when my husband used to not come home from work til midnight i worried about how long they'd be left with my unresponsive corpse until he came home. i havent taught my 4.5 yr old to ring 999, we dont have a house phone and i keep my mobile out of grubby paws way. likewise the house keys, because my daughter likes to try and escape. it is a worry.

exhausted2011 Sun 12-Jun-11 00:08:25

Well, husband and I are separating, and even though he travels a lot with work, I think it's just hitting me that it's me and DS now.

Thinking about locking the doors and then thinking how DS would get out. Usually put safety chain hook thing on.
He could figure out the door, he would drag a chair, but then what would he do, he doesn't know the neighbours.
He can't work my iphone, he would answer the home phone.

I will have to teach him how to use the home phone, but he's a little monkey, he'd think he could phone Fireman Sam whenever he liked!!

Family don't live close by.

itisnearlysummer Sun 12-Jun-11 07:35:30

I used to worry about this too.

We talked about people who help us - the doctors, the police the firemen, and we talked about when they help us.

We talked about how they have a special number that lets you speak to them.

We did lots of role play around appropriate times to phone and how the conversation might go - e.g. he 'phoned' 999 and I answered so that he had an idea what sort of questions he might be asked.

I also emphasised how it wasn't a game to phone them and why it was important that he didn't phone unless it was emergency (toys came in really useful for this - while teddy doctor was attending a false call made by the penguin, he wasn't able to get to baby monkey who was really poorly!).

It was a great game and we often had to play it.

It worked, I was confident he would know what to do but also that he wouldn't 'play' at phoning. He never did do.

Anyway, if that gives you any ideas....

iwanttoseethezoo Sun 12-Jun-11 07:37:14

I think about this a lot too. Now that eldest is nearly 7 i think he would know to ring 999, or get out and go next door, but would he remember to stop toddler getting out onto the road in his panicked state? Prob. not, so toddler would get killed by bus too... horrible horrible thoughts, but totally normal. Just be grateful that it's very very rare to suddenly cark it in the night!

exhausted2011 Sun 12-Jun-11 13:06:12

itisnearlysummer- thanks, they are good tips

will start to have a chat with him

LadyThumb Sun 12-Jun-11 13:44:08

When my Ex left my son was 4. I taught my son how to dial 999, our address and what to say (My Mummy has fallen, My Mummy is ill). We also used to practise it !

thegruffalosma Sun 12-Jun-11 13:57:18

If you are fit and healthy you are ridiculously unlikely to just up and die in your sleep - same goes for dying on the stairs. BUT there's no harm in talking to your dc about 999 and what to do if there's an emergency/fire if you think they're old enough to take it in.

heleninahandcart Sun 12-Jun-11 14:03:27

YANBU. Its a good idea to have a plan for what to do in a range of scenarios

for 999 - this is a very special number and people will come and help (they will not ignore this, always come even if he hangs up by accident). What Itsnearlysummer said sounds perfect.

Fire - hear alarm, get out of house (I forgot we'd done this and several years later found DS in garden after alarm went off accidentally blush)

Later when you will be leaving DS for short periods, DS should know the number of friend to call to look after him if you are not back when expected.

Not morbid, sensible. Also, it is assumed his father would look after him in the event of your death, but if you have very good reasons for not wanting this you should take legal advice as to appointing a guardian. Everyone should know in advance what the plans are.

Kids take this in their stride if its presented as a matter of fact.

strandedbear Sun 12-Jun-11 14:11:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thelittlefriend Sun 12-Jun-11 14:16:59

I think about my own health so much more now I have my dd and worry about what would happen if anything happened to me (and I'm not even a single parent). Lots of good advice on here about planning ahead. Just make sure it's appropriate for their age

TeddyMcardle Sun 12-Jun-11 14:21:16

I worry about this a lot, ds is 14 months, exh hasn't come to see him in a while, freinds don't call by regularly, my mum would be the best bet and she might drop in sometime in the week! My poor ds would starve to death if nothing else happened to him. I really worry about it, people ring me but woldn't think it unusual for me to miss a call.
Hmm.
<worries some more>

TeddyMcardle Sun 12-Jun-11 14:24:50

Mind you before I had ds, myself and exh had three dogs and I used to worry about if there was a huge plague (I'd recently read The Stand!) that wiped out all the humans how would our dogs get out and find food.
I probably think about these things too much grin

ninedragons Sun 12-Jun-11 14:39:41

I worry. I know it's ridiculous but I don't like bathing baby DD when I am at home alone, in case I have an embolism or otherwise drop dead without warning (am in my thirties in rude health).

I taught DD1 about the emergency services when she was about two and a half, and also our address and her grandparents' address. I even made sure she knew that if she couldn't remember the address, she could say we were at the end of the X bus route (small nosey neighbourhood, everyone would come rushing out if a police car pulled up with DD in it).

Nosey neighbours are an advantage, actually. The nanny told me that downstairs neighbour stuck her head in one day when DD was going nuts in the bath, just to see if all the howling was indicative of a problem.

CrapBag Sun 12-Jun-11 14:42:46

What age do you teach 999? I have thought about it recently as DS is 3.4 and he likes answering the phone and I have thought that it is a very good thing for him to learn but not sure if he is a bit young. Don't want him to phone them for a non emergency!

veritythebrave Sun 12-Jun-11 15:26:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

veritythebrave Sun 12-Jun-11 15:27:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

veritythebrave Sun 12-Jun-11 15:27:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thumbwitch Sun 12-Jun-11 15:28:51

I used to think like that when DS was a tiny baby - specifically I'd worry about falling down the stairs with him. Haven't thought about it for a while (but probably will start again now) and am very interested to know when others train their DC to call 999 (or in our case 000)

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