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to shudder whenever someone talks about themselves in the third person?

(38 Posts)
HellAtWork Sat 11-Jun-11 22:07:29

Just read another thread where OP made good point about FB statuses encouraging people to think about themselves in the third person.

Now I have a very good and lovely friend. But she does insist on talking about herself in the third person. I think it started off as a joke (I am not sure - but definitely before the dawn of FB) but it is now firmly, not a joke to the extent that if you're serving up a dinner:

"would you like some chips/broccoli/lard with that?"
"Mmmm...Shasha loves chips/broccoli/lard"

(It is also combined with a shortening of her name and repetition so like how someone might say a child's name?). She is 42. It makes me want to throw the colander/oven tray/lard dispenser on the floor and scream You are 42 and you can answer AS you, on behalf of YOU!

It has also moved on (as well as being more frequent in general) to become a kind of petulant 3rd person thing too (a bit toddlerish) as in ShaSha hates sitting in the back seat if you're sharing a car.

Oh dear. I am being mean aren't I? And unreasonable. But it is grating hugely to the extent that I am now on edge around her, despite her being extremely lovely in so many ways. I am prepared to be told I am being unreasonable, but also please tell me how to stop my teeth itching every time this happens. Anyone else encountered this?

worraliberty Sat 11-Jun-11 22:08:14

Worraliberty thinks YANBU

IsItMeOr Sat 11-Jun-11 22:13:39

YABU not to mention it to your otherwise lovely friend given it clearly is spoiling your time spent together. She probably thinks it is charming and endearing.

Alternatively you could respond to her petulant statements as you would to a toddler.

HellAtWork Sat 11-Jun-11 22:49:14

IsItMeOr I do that! It just encourages her. She IS charming and endearing. This is not. Perhaps it is all still a joke?

OK what can I say without making a big deal out of it? I just need a way of saying it (lighthearted) without hurting her and by the time I want to say something I am too itchy about it to be put it properly so I need to think about what to say in advance.

DontCallMePeanut Sat 11-Jun-11 22:54:56

PeaPea agrees with Worra.

DontCallMePeanut Sat 11-Jun-11 22:56:39

Start a conversation, and randomly drop in "Don't you find it annoying when people talk about themselves in the third person? Really pisses me off"

HowlingBitch Sat 11-Jun-11 22:57:16

That's just creepy. confused

Greythorne Sat 11-Jun-11 22:57:48

Meglomaniac slebs do this....Geri Halliwell and Sarah Ferguson to my certain knowledge.

worraliberty Sat 11-Jun-11 22:58:20

I'm sorry I'd have to be totally blunt and tell her if she doesn't pack it in I'm going to throw a small child wearing steel toecaps at her head sad

UrsulaBuffay Sat 11-Jun-11 22:58:47

Ursywursy likes this

DontCallMePeanut Sat 11-Jun-11 23:00:08

You could always try aversion therapy. Throw a dart at her head every time she does this. She'll get the message.

squeakytoy Sat 11-Jun-11 23:00:35

tell her she sounds like Dobby off Harry Potter grin

DontCallMePeanut Sat 11-Jun-11 23:00:54

Although, that said...

"Oww, that hurt ShaSha... Kiss ShaSha's booboo better?"

ReindeerBollocks Sat 11-Jun-11 23:01:30

DD (2yr old) does this. It's really disconcerting. We I are trying to get her to stop, but she just persists, like some self righteous little madam grin it's especially annoying when at bedtime she retorts 'No mummy Niamh will not go to bed'.

OP, you are definitely not being unreasonable.

HellAtWork Sat 11-Jun-11 23:01:58

PeaPea It has been commented on before by another friend as you suggest and I had to watch as this kind of cloud of hurt shifted across 3rd person friend's face. Ah fuck it. I just can't do it. I just can't seem to find a way that doesn't make it a massive deal or one where she says I'm only joking though and continues (as was said to the friend who commented above - was about 3 years ago) or any way in which it won't hurt her feelings. Canestan for toothpaste it is. Pointless AIBU biscuits all round but thanks for the replies biscuit biscuit biscuit

Vagabond Sat 11-Jun-11 23:03:26

Hmmm, I can see how this is irritating you beyond belief. I'd be the same.

Perhaps you could lighten the mood by saying "but 'Sha-Sha', you're right here next to me, no need to invoke the voice of the angels, I'd really rather hear it from you, darling".

Or ask her if she's been watching too much American TV.

I'd hate it. YANBU

DontCallMePeanut Sat 11-Jun-11 23:03:53

Could always ask who ShaSha is?

GreenEyesandHam Sat 11-Jun-11 23:04:38

Use the technique I like to call 'lying'

Next time she does it groan...

"oh noooo please don't do that anymore. There's a new girl at work who talks on third person ALL the time and it's driving me nuts!"

Then make up a bit of bitchy gossip about this 'new girl' (for effect, like)

MangoTango Sat 11-Jun-11 23:06:12

If you spoke like that back to her all the time wouldn't she see how silly it is?

BulletWithAName Sat 11-Jun-11 23:08:26

It's only acceptable when The Rock does it!

UrsulaBuffay Sat 11-Jun-11 23:10:42

And the Hoff

HellAtWork Sat 11-Jun-11 23:11:10

It kind of started off with it being a joke about her being an only child and 'only child behaviour' (her joke, not mine! I have an only DC so do not want to start a bunfight here) and how her parents spoilt her - one thing they did was to give her all the white/breast of chicken for example. And then it just started to grow from there until about a year ago, we all went for a roast at a pub and they presented us with, you guessed it, a roast chicken on a board pre-carved, for the 3 of us. And she proceeded to pick off all the white meat saying sha sha likes chicken or somesuch leaving me and the other person with the legs to share (am sure there must have been a bit of white meat left but not much.) It was then that it started to feel like a bit of an excuse for bad behaviour. Now this person is someone who goes out of their way to do lovely things, is very generous with time and money, travels a lot with work and is always picking up things for me or my DC - so it is glaringly out of character for her. I think about 90% of the time its a joke that's gone too far/worn too thin and 10% of the time it is like she almost reverts to being a child.

HellAtWork Sat 11-Jun-11 23:12:36

ooooh GreenEyesandHam that's utterly brilliant. That could work. It was just the kind of thing I was looking for. I am going to try that.

HellAtWork Sat 11-Jun-11 23:14:11

Don'tCallMePeanut comes a close second with the darts to the head aversion therapy though.

squeakytoy Sat 11-Jun-11 23:16:08

I would be saying "Hellatwork thinks spoilt little ShaSha needs to see a shrinkshrink.." wink

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