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or rather was this teacher BU

(19 Posts)
Mamaz0n Sat 11-Jun-11 14:18:26

there is a new girl in DD's class.
For the past week or so DD (6) has been saying odd little things about healthy eating, getting fat or losing weight.

I thought that maybe they had been talking about healthy eating at school so took no real notice.

then on friday morning we had a real issue with her lunchbox. She was refusing to have hardly anything but an Orange and a banana.
I asked her why she was being so silly, that she has virtually the same things everyday so why this sudden dislike of everything.
She said "because i don't want to be fat"
confused i asked what she meant and she explained that the new girl had been telling her she (and acouple of other girls) was fat. So is very much not fat.

We spoke a little more and i reasured her that she isn't fat and that the only way to be healthy is to eat a variety of foods etc etc.

This made us a little late so didn't get a chance to speak with her teacher at drop off so caught her after school.

I explained what had happened and she looked a little annoyed ( it would seem this new girl has caused quite a bit of trouble already) but i was a little surprised by her response.
She called teh little girl over whilst i was stood there and said "right this is mini mamazons mummy and she has been telling me that you have been very rude to mini mamazon" she was very firm with the girl and i was grateful that they had taken it seriously but i was a little taken aback to have been involved with the discipline of the child.

I deliberatly went in alone and without DD when i spoke to the teacher as i didn't want to make a big deal of it, just for them to be aware that this was being said and for them to maybe have a class wid chst about it.

I have been thinking about it all evening and i am torn between thinking the teacher was being pro active and making the girl see just how big a deal it was, and thinking that she was out of order to have chastised her in front of me.

I am happy to hear your thoughts

cybbo Sat 11-Jun-11 14:20:24

I wouldnt speak to a child in front of a parent. Would just report back that I had

Madlizzy Sat 11-Jun-11 14:21:01

She shouldn't have done it in front of you, and that child's mother would quite rightly be a little upset about it.

LaurieFairyCake Sat 11-Jun-11 14:21:36

I'm not sure either confused

So I'll go with her decision I guess - she knows the kid, maybe she wanted to really impress upon her that it was important.

Maybe she also thinks you're the kinda gal who likes stuff dealt with and taken seriously wink

Pumpernickel10 Sat 11-Jun-11 14:23:34

Teachers at fault here big time

scurryfunge Sat 11-Jun-11 14:26:01

I think she has done the right thing and tried to knock the first show of potential bullying on the head. People always complain that teachers never do anything and this is a good example of dealing with the situation swiftly.

saffy85 Sat 11-Jun-11 14:26:59

I do think the teacher was BU, this should have dealt with better, with either a whole class chat like you say or a chat with this little girl and her parents about why this girl says this stuff.

I find it really sad that children this young think about weight and stuff. The little girl may not have meant what she said in a mean way and is actually projecting her own issues onto other children. Either way, there are better ways to sort this stuff out.

Mamaz0n Sat 11-Jun-11 14:28:15

I was surprised. when she called her over i felt awful.

I told my mum about it when i got back and she too felt it was wrong to have spoken to her in front of me. But it did seem as though they have been having a few issues with this girl, The TA did say that i was the second mum to mention the "fat" issue, so maybe the teacher had already spoken to her and this was her attempt to try and hammer home a message that had failed to be heard?

The teacher is lovely usually so i am trying to give the benefit of the doubt.

squeakytoy Sat 11-Jun-11 14:30:23

Nope, not seeing the teacher being at fault here whatsoever. confused

You didnt do any disciplining, you just witnessed it. What on earth is the problem with that????

cybbo Sat 11-Jun-11 14:31:26

Whilst its very nice of you to be concerned about this other girl Mamzon, I would worry more about your little girl . Sometimes children like this need a firm talking to before they turn into full scale nasty pieces of work

Sounds harsh but some girls at school can be so mean to others

cory Sat 11-Jun-11 14:32:58

They have better procedures in our school imo: complaints are dealt with instantly but by the school, without involvement of other parents.

Mamaz0n Sat 11-Jun-11 14:56:35

ooh its quite a mix.

I have never known the teacher do this before so i am inclined to think that she had tried other methods of talking to her and so plumped for a more "extreme"

Cybbo- yes i was quite concerned. If she had called her smelly or 4 eyes (d wears glasses) i would have been less worried in a way. but the idea of DD becoming concerned over her weight at such an age horrifies me.
That was why i thought it important to speak with the teacher about it, I wouldn't even have mentioned your typical playground argument but this seemed to have had a real impact on DD and that troubled me.

My initial feeling was that the girl might have been exposed to a family member on a diet or someone at home who had some issues with eating. But having spoken to the teacher it did seem as though this girl had been being a bit of a bully. I am trying to be kind and excuse it as her way of dealing with the nerves of moving to a new school and trying to fit in, I have spoken to DD and said that that might be why she has been saying things that may be unkind. But I guess if you are a teacher and having parents coming in all the time for the same child it must be very hard.

scurryfunge Sat 11-Jun-11 15:00:53

I don't really see it as over the top though. You were in school and the matter was dealt with.
I wouldn't take it as a "fat" issue at all. It is likely to be more to do with this girl having difficulty fitting in and targeting another classmate.(young girls are very aware that fat=evil from the media) and it is an easy way to bully.

Curlybrunette Sat 11-Jun-11 15:26:12

I think the teacher has made it seem that girl was being naughty just to your daughter, rather than the issue being that there is a litle girl that is already worrying about weight, or picking on others about their weight. I think she could have handled it better by talking to the girl about healthy eating etc. and then bring up that it is mean to pick on others for their weight.

MumblingRagDoll Sat 11-Jun-11 15:50:58

I had similar issues when my DD was in reception...and the girl who was talking all the crap had a massively overweight Mother...so it was doubly sensitive...all I an say is please dont judge the kid...she''s new and may have been trying to impress.

YANBU. The teacher should have been FAR more sensitive!

ilovesooty Sat 11-Jun-11 16:08:52

It sounds as though the teacher might have had issues with the child before. She dealt with it, and you saw her deal with it, and I can't see what the teacher's done wrong. Look how many threads there are complaining about teachers not dealing promptly with bullying/pupil friendship problems.

MumblingRagDoll Sat 11-Jun-11 16:45:37

The teacher should not have spoken to the child in front of Mamazon ilovesooty

It's scary for the kid...they're only 6! If my child was humiliated n front of a complaining mum I would not be happy....the teacher should have ascertained that the child HAD said something first!

ilovesooty Sat 11-Jun-11 16:47:25

Point taken MumblingRagDoll

However, at least Mamazon knows the incident has been dealt with.

BoneyBackJefferson Sat 11-Jun-11 18:24:56

At least we know that Teachers will never be right in some posters eyes.hmm

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