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to not ever want sex again?

(10 Posts)
mrsotter Sat 11-Jun-11 09:23:29

I know I am - I'm married and it's very unfair of me.

But to be truthful, dh isn't very good at satisfying me, he has never bought me to orgasm, and I end up faking to get it over with. 12 years of doing this and I cannot be bothered with it.

I can feel the lack of sex pulling us apart, and although he doesn't mention it I know it's a big issue for dh.

I've tried talking to dh about what I want, I've tried showing him and I've even tried toys. I've done all sorts of things to him over the years to try and excite things but ultimately sex to him is a fondle of the breast, quick rub down below to try and lubricate things and in he goes and I play along so it ends asap.

Since the birth of dd2 7 months ago, sex is non existent and I know dh is making attempts to get things back on track but I dread it. We are only in our thirties sad

Is the end of our relationship?

OldLadyKnowsNothing Sat 11-Jun-11 16:44:35

Do you think you'll never want sex again, or never want it with DH again? It doesn't look good for your relationship, no. sad

escapeartist Sat 11-Jun-11 16:51:36

Maybe for both of your sakes you should go and see someone who might be able to help. Not sure who hmm so maybe I am not being at all helpful.

Have you found that you can bring yourself to orgasm but your DH can't? Maybe you can find ways of working around that... (without wanting to be too graphic)

cunexttuesonline Sat 11-Jun-11 16:53:09

have you tried a vibrating cock ring? my other suggestion would be to use a small clitoral vibrator while he penetrates you?

worraliberty Sat 11-Jun-11 17:00:35

To be fair to your DH, if you've been faking orgasms then you've been encouraging his selfish behaviour in bed. If he thinks what he does turns you on and makes you come...he's bound to be very confused as to why it suddenly doesn't now.

MumblingRagDoll Sat 11-Jun-11 17:04:19

The term "He's never brought me to orgasm" is misleading....getting to orgasm is a good part of YOUR job during sex. I have to work physically quite hard in order to orgasm during penatrative sex....TMI...but you can't just lie there whilst he bangs away if you want an orgasm.

AuntieMonica Sat 11-Jun-11 17:08:39

you say 'DH isn't very good at satisfying me', how can he know any different if you then fake an orgasm?

AuntieMonica Sat 11-Jun-11 17:12:08

MRD has noticed the elephant so i'll point at it too

sex within a loving relationship should be mutally enjoyable...it DOES indeed take 2. it isn't one partner's 'job' to bring pleasure, it should be a joint effort.

2 hands are better than one IYGWIM

Sn0wflake Sat 11-Jun-11 17:13:07

You have to be honest with him I think and starting to work at it together. Easier said than done but worth it if you have kids.

Malificence Sat 11-Jun-11 17:17:28

Your orgasm = your responsibility, not his.

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