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... not to want to spend the weekend at nursery events?

(27 Posts)
JumpJockey Sat 11-Jun-11 07:16:06

DD1 is at nursery part time, has been there for a year and a half and loves it. The staff are great, friendly and caring and eveything you could want. But they insist on having lots of events at the weekend, eg. easter bbq, nursery birthday party, parent/nursery committee bake sale, and next weekend it's a "graduation" for the kids in pre-school and family fun day. I appreciate that it's a great thing that staff are willing to do these things, but it's the weekend; DH barely gets to see the girls during the week.

This morning an email arrived saying "We have sold very few tickets since they went on sale which causes me concern as staff and local businesses have put a lot of money and effort into our day and I would hate to disappoint those who have already purchased tickets with cancellation of the event due to lack of attendees."

I can see that in the future these kinds of things will be run on the weekend when they're at school, but there's a much better chance of knowing the other children/parents, with nursery there isn't the same kind of "school gate" friendliness since everyone drops off and picks up at different times so there's more just a nodding acquaintance.

So, given that these things happen every couple of months, should we be rallying behind the nursery and turning up, or are we allowed to say Sorry no, weekend is family time?

Well how can they do them during the week? It would disrupt the actual childcare surely?
You would also have working parents feeling excluded, quite rightly.

Obviously you don't have to attend everything, or anything for that matter, but it is nice to get involved sometimes I think.

cookcleanerchaufferetc Sat 11-Jun-11 07:22:50

Say no you want! Presumably these are fundraising events? There won't be much happening on weekends once at school, part from football club and the odd event. I thought most nurseries IMO run cake sales, graduation events etc during the week during nursery time. Do the staff get paid for turning up at these events as the wages bill must be horrendous!

Groovee Sat 11-Jun-11 07:23:02

When else should they do them? They probably are trying to help by not doing it during nursery time when not every parent can get time off work so easily as others.

Avantia Sat 11-Jun-11 07:23:39

Dont't go - simple as that . If people turn up under duress and they get the attendeess then they will still carry on with these events.

If they have to start cancelling because people dont come along then they will get the message.

I'm sure that the staff aren't that pleased about turning up at the weekend either - I'm sure they work long enough hours during the week , for little pay, without having to give up their Saturday.

Dont feel obliged to send your appologies .

cookcleanerchaufferetc Sat 11-Jun-11 07:24:21

The nurseries in our area are clearly different!

seeker Sat 11-Jun-11 07:31:26

Every couple of monts means 6 afternoons a year.

Say you attend 4 of them. Doesn't sound too arduous to me!

pigletmania Sat 11-Jun-11 07:41:20

Sounds like a lovely idea, if you don't want to go or can't don't go, you have a choice!

squeakytoy Sat 11-Jun-11 08:55:35

As it is "family" fun day, surely your husband would go with you and still be able to see his child.

rookiemater Sat 11-Jun-11 09:10:35

My friends DD goes to nursery, she doesn't go to these events as they are fundraisers for the nursery that she already pays for. In the same way I didn't feel obliged to attend DS's school summer fair, it is a private school that we pay for and I am unsure where the proceeds go. Plus we have swimming lessons on a Saturday morning so it is hard to attend.

I would feedback to them that whilst you appreciate their effort, they must also appreciate that as a nursery their customers are generally both working parents, therefore at the weekend it is nice to spend relaxed time as a family together without having too many obligations and maybe 1-2 times a year for weekend events would be more appropriate.

Oakmaiden Sat 11-Jun-11 09:15:53

I wouldn't have thought it would be too arduous to just pop along - you don't have to stay for the whole event. You could pop in for half an hour with the rest of the family on your way to whatever else it is you have planned.

halcyondays Sat 11-Jun-11 09:16:48

I don't really see the problem. You have a choice, if you don't want to go to a particular event or have something else on at the weekend, then don't go.
However we would quite enjoy going to something like a BBQ as a family, they usually have things like this, and school fairs, church fetes etc at the weekend because more people are off work and can go to them.

meditrina Sat 11-Jun-11 09:18:53

It's perfectly reasonable not to want to go.

How about sending DH with the children? He gets the time with them you want, the event is still supported, the DCs will probably like it, and you get a nice couple of hours to yourself.

5318008 Sat 11-Jun-11 09:20:15

oooh I like medit's idea

win win

JumpJockey Sat 11-Jun-11 09:21:04

I see the point about working parents not being able to make it - they do things on weekdays as well (mother's day coffee morning)- I guess it's not that often. we have been to a couple of them, I guess I mostly resent the slightly passive aggressive tone of the email "we've arranged an event therefore you must pay to come to it"

3littlefrogs Sat 11-Jun-11 09:23:12

To be honest, I think this is part life as parents. There will be school events as the DC get older, there will be football/rugby/swimming/scouts etc. I have spent the last 20 years attending, supporting, fundraising, washing up, ferrying children about - it goes with the territory.

You don't have to go to everything, but for some families it is a way to make friends and socialise; the children usually enjoy it.

JumpJockey Sat 11-Jun-11 09:23:28

X post with medi - that's a good idea!

squeakytoy Sat 11-Jun-11 09:23:43

These events surely give parents the opportunity to meet and chat to each other too.

I dont look on it purely from a fundraising point of view, but more of it being something to go to that would be fun.

3littlefrogs Sat 11-Jun-11 09:24:00

Part OF life.

Lady1nTheRadiator Sat 11-Jun-11 09:38:47

I'm sure they would love to hear some alternative suggestions for fundraising events if you have any.

purepurple Sat 11-Jun-11 09:44:30

YABU
You don't have to go but you shouldn't be knocking the nursery for providing these events. Working in partnership with parents is very important, and very difficult when most parents are working. Research has shown that buliding up relationships between parents and carers is very beneficial to children's emotional development. I doubt it's all about fundraising.
Surely if your DH goes he will be spending time with your DC.

cookcleanerchaufferetc Sat 11-Jun-11 09:48:06

So what if the nursery sends a passive aggressive email .... Just ignore it and don't go. If you are asked about it just say you have prior engagements.

cookcleanerchaufferetc Sat 11-Jun-11 09:48:33

I am still intrigued if the staff attends these events or if they are parent led?

Goblinchild Sat 11-Jun-11 09:50:39

The whole weekend? OMG!
Or are they talking about a couple of hours?

JumpJockey Sat 11-Jun-11 10:45:46

It's raising funds for a charity in Africa, not the nursery itself - they've just raised fees by 10% so hopefully don't need us to contribute more...
Not all day, it's 4 hours with the graduation of the pre schoolers in the middle. And it's run by staff, no idea if they're paid or volunteering.

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