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To have asked if someone could pick me up.

(26 Posts)
SoBroken Fri 10-Jun-11 11:56:29

I have just moved towns, about 20 mins away from where I used to live. I left behind what I thought was a good group of friends with kids the same as my DS.

A little background: I'm currently 7mths pregnant, and had horrible HG at the beginning of my pregancy. I was hospitalised etc and haven't really regained my full health throughout my pregnancy.

I've kept in touch with my friends via phone/Facebook etc, and have repeatedly said that if they are ever in my new town, then they can come over with their DCs and play. No one has taken me up on this so far.

Last week, a new park opened in my town, and one of them texted me to say they were all going down there to check it out and asked if I would like to come. i don't drive, and although I don't live far away (about 10mins walk from the park), there's a huge hill that I would have to walk up on the way back.

I just didn't think I would be physically strong enough to push DS there in his pushchair, run about after him for several hours and then walk back up the huge hill to get home. since I am quite new to the town and haven't been well, I haven't had a chance to suss out buses or anything either, so i asked if it would be possible for one of them to pick me up.

Three of them would be bringing cars, so there would be plenty of room, even with baby seats etc and I offered car park costs too. Nor would they have had to go out of their way, to get into town they need to pass the end of my road.

I'm not a scrounger and I have been taking driving lessons whenever money has allowed, but for some reason as soon as I asked for a lift, I didn't get any more texts. On the day i had a text to ask if I was coming, by which time they were already there.

I feel really bad, like I asked for something completely outrageous. I'd just like some opinions on whether asking for a lift is bad form!

valiumredhead Fri 10-Jun-11 11:58:24

I'm surprised no one offered!

betterwhenthesunshines Fri 10-Jun-11 11:59:50

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. If they have come over to your town and you can't walk 10 mins to meet them? Maybe if you'd made the effort to get to the park ( even once they were there - they were prob mystified as to where you were!) then one of them would have offered you a lift home afterwards.

saggybaps Fri 10-Jun-11 12:00:26

Not bad form at all, people can just be unthoughtful at times.

valiumredhead Fri 10-Jun-11 12:00:56

I presumed it was a lift home <<goes back to read op properly!>>

ashamedandconfused Fri 10-Jun-11 12:00:58

sounds like crossed wires - either your request went AWOL or everyone thought someone else would do it - did they not come there-and-then to get you or at least drop in on the way home?

Thingumy Fri 10-Jun-11 12:01:03

I think you are being a tiny bit unreasonable.

You can find bus timetables online-it's not difficult.

Ormirian Fri 10-Jun-11 12:02:18

"there's a huge hill that I would have to walk up on the way back."

Simple! Ask for a lift on the way back. No big deal for anyone. I expect they just forgot about you needing a lift. Not bad form to ask btw IMO.

valiumredhead Fri 10-Jun-11 12:02:27

We have no busses at all where I live on B/H and Sundays and even then most of them stop at 4 pm. Transport is awful here!

Thingumy Fri 10-Jun-11 12:04:22

Fair enough valium but the OP hasn't even checked out the buses yet.

coccyx Fri 10-Jun-11 12:04:41

10 mins walk not far pregnant or not!

valiumredhead Fri 10-Jun-11 12:05:50

thingumy ignore me - I'm merely rambling wink

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Fri 10-Jun-11 12:07:01

In your circumstances, I would have picked up the phone and spoken to one of the friends, explained that I'd love to see them and could make my own way to the park but I could only go if someone was prepared to offer me a lift back up a bloody great hill which would only take a few minutes of their time, and was conveniently on their way home so no need for a detour.

Texting's all very well but sometimes it just doesn't suffice to get a situation across, and this was clearly one of those times.

redskyatnight Fri 10-Jun-11 12:10:03

Actually sounds like the text went awol (or they misunderstood it). Seems very odd for a whole group of people to ignore it otherwise. (they obviously wanted you to come or they wouldn't have asked in the first place)

AllGoodNamesGone Fri 10-Jun-11 12:10:11

Since they would have had to pass the end of your road anyway, YANBU. I would have picked you up, no question, even if you were not pregnant! I'd also have given you a lift home and accepted an offer of a coffee and a nosy at your new house!

Not like you were asking someone to drive out of their way.

SoBroken Fri 10-Jun-11 12:26:32

It would have been perfect to ask for a lift on the way home only ... except that I would have needed to take DS's car seat somehow!

And 10mins wallk alone is fine, but running around after my very active lad, making conversation and then doing the hill from hell on the way back IS a big deal when you have been throwing up without respite for months on end.

I think what I'm a bit peeved about is that I would have done it for them if the situation was reversed, even without them being pregnant. I went over to one of their houses to help with their children after the mum had come out of hospital last year, didn't think anything about it. Didn't think that stopping their car for two minutes while I put in a car seat and got in was a terrible thing to ask.

valiumredhead Fri 10-Jun-11 12:31:10

It's not! So why not just ask them?

SoBroken Fri 10-Jun-11 12:32:33

Erm, I did ...? Sorry, has that not come across ...

Fiddledee Fri 10-Jun-11 12:33:34

I think you should have made an effort. It can't be that massive a hill if it only takes 10minutes - this is from a person who threw up throughout her whole pregnancy and also hates hills (lives in nice flat area as a result!).

The more you do the hill the less of an obstacle it will seem. If its such a great park you will be taking a double buggy up that hill soon.

If you want to keep in touch - ask them specifically to your house on a certain day and see if they come. An open invitation rarely works.

You also need to start making new friends in the new area.

What has stopped you driving?

ajandjjmum Fri 10-Jun-11 12:37:31

If only people would talk and not text.

KatieWatie Fri 10-Jun-11 12:39:22

If I was your friends I'd have picked you up no problem, so I can't imagine why it seems like it fell on deaf ears.

I think perhaps it only seems that way to you, and actually it's more a case of crossed wires, especially if you didn't ask one of them specifically but just asked them as a group.

I wouldn't fret about anything - it's not bad form to ask, and it's not as if they were snubbing you since they invited you in the first place.

Hope that helps and good luck with the driving, it WILL change your life for the better and you can go and see them with the new baby smile

BalloonSlayer Fri 10-Jun-11 12:58:01

It was diffusion of responsibility. You asked them as a group, and they all thought one of the others would offer.

If you'd asked one of them singly it might have been a different story.

sad for you though. And of course YANBU to ask.

valiumredhead Fri 10-Jun-11 12:59:42

If only people would talk and not text

YY!!! SO many misunderstandings come from people mislaying phones, accidently deleting texts, not receiving them.

KatieWatie Fri 10-Jun-11 13:05:16

If only people would talk and not text

I've lost count of the amount of misunderstandings arising from me having a crapPhone iPhone, where a lot of the time my texts never get to the recipient and I don't receive theirs either. It's good to towk and all that.

valiumredhead Fri 10-Jun-11 13:07:18

Ime i phones are the WORST - they either don't receive incoming texts and when they do they are in multiples!

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