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DH thinks I am, but is this really the norm? TMI warning

(103 Posts)
foolserrand Thu 09-Jun-11 23:59:27

Ok, sorry in advance.

Dh spends an average of 20 minutes (up to one hour 5 mins!) pooping each time he goes to the loo. He refuses to "push" and the one time he did, he gave himself a hemorrhoid (sp?)

He argues this is a normal length of time for men to spend in the john, but I question that. Neither my father or brother ever took that long!

So, aibu to ask him to hurry the fuck up?

snice Fri 10-Jun-11 00:01:46

he needs to change his diet then-get some museli inside him!

BertieBotts Fri 10-Jun-11 00:03:04

Um, yes YABU. Why do you feel the need to tell him how long he is allowed to spend in the bathroom? confused

Unless he's "conveniently" doing it to get out of other things, let the poor man poo as slowly as he likes!

StellaSays Fri 10-Jun-11 00:03:38

I think 20 mins tops unless you are constipated is normal. how often does he poop? I know a guy who 'saves' his poo for several days so that he can spend a load of time on the loo and have a spliff at the same time confused

worraliberty Fri 10-Jun-11 00:03:47

Sorry but I can't stop laughing at the 'one hour five minutes' grin

betterwhenthesunshines Fri 10-Jun-11 00:05:02

Has he always been like this, or is it a recent change?

Bogeyface Fri 10-Jun-11 00:05:52

20 minutes has been known here but only on very rare occasions when he has been ill! Normally ten minutes and I think that is too long, every woman I know can do in 2 minutes what takes the average bloke 10!

But an hour?! A whole hour pooing is out of this world!

How often does he go? If it is less than once every day or 2 then he could be constipated, which would explain his reluctance to help nature along. If his stools are dry and hard then he needs some help, and a visit to the doctor wouldnt hurt, especially if this is a fairly recent thing. There are plenty of over the counter remedies that will help, and if his diet is lacking in fruit, vegetables and fibre then upping those will help too.

Either way, it isnt normal!

lulaloop Fri 10-Jun-11 00:06:07

I am sure we have had this thread before!

thursday Fri 10-Jun-11 00:06:10

do you actually time him??? that sort of pressure would give me stagefright.

BluddyMoFo Fri 10-Jun-11 00:06:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SunRaysthruClouds Fri 10-Jun-11 00:07:28

Perhaps you shouldn't leave the Beano in there

Thingumy Fri 10-Jun-11 00:08:16

or The Sun.

DontCallMePeanut Fri 10-Jun-11 00:08:46

Does anyone else have an image of OP stood next to toilet whilst DH iss doing his business, complete with a stopwatch, whistle, and checkered flag?

frantic51 Fri 10-Jun-11 00:09:46

YANBU if you only have one loo and he doesn't have the decency to let you know that he is going to have a shit and therefore likely to be putting that loo out of action for anyone else for a considerable amount of time. If you have more than one lavatory then, what's the problem?

FWIW it has been my own experience that men, on average, take longer over this particular call of nature than women do. Particularly women with children who have learned, in the infant years, that bowel movements are invariably accompanied by wails for attention, ominous bangs and crashes or a lo actually in there with us tugging and pulling at us to "come now"! hmm

SunRaysthruClouds Fri 10-Jun-11 00:10:00

Is he an accountant?

Rizzana Fri 10-Jun-11 00:11:50

He needs to up his fibre, or needs to see the GP.

An hour? He loses up to an hour, what, once a day, every other day, at least?

maras2 Fri 10-Jun-11 00:14:39

We've been married for nearly 40 years, and only found out recently that Mr. Maras 'goes ' 3 times a day.If he doesn't, he thinks that he's constipated.We eat the same stuff but how come I can only manage 3 times a week.I'll tell you why, I don't and never have had the fecking time to sit on the loo for longer than it takes to do a quick wee.Sorry,was that a bit ranty.Ididn't realise I felt so strongly.

shelscrape Fri 10-Jun-11 00:15:20

Frantic 51 - how true, I go to the loo dead quickly and DH takes forever! Men do take longer to poo I think. DH disappears to the loo every evening for about 20 minutes with a book .... I think he does his poo quite quickly and then just sits and reads. 6 Year old DS has started doing this too and won't get off the loo until he has read all 3 thomas the tank engine stories out loud.

OP just accept that men like to hide in the loo, but over one hour! he must be constipated poor man ... give him some all bran for breakfast and make him eat fruit.

melezka Fri 10-Jun-11 00:17:24

DH takes about 30 seconds.

juicyfruitqueen Fri 10-Jun-11 00:31:37

Ooooh, I have a friend whose husband (German, not important, except that when you consider german toilet pans, then its reasonable ish), spends one or two hours in the bathroom.

Point of great hilarity with us, especially as we have other options, bathroom wise.

And he is quite proud of his time there. Even brings a sandwich and a beer wherever he feels the need.

Don't knwo why anyone would comment on it though confused

Mumcentreplus Fri 10-Jun-11 00:32:24

My DH is a pooper ..and explosive with it...he's too poopy imo!...he also is a general...'I'm in the building therefore I must use the toilet' kind of person and yes it pisses me off, he says it's just the way he is and he accuses me of not going enough! you have to christen *every toilet???...FFS..he likes to play some dodgy game on the loo and if left up to himself i wonder just how long he would remain in that position...<gah>

Bogeyface Fri 10-Jun-11 00:33:10

OMG, he takes food and drink with him when he poos juicyfruit?! that makes me feel quite ill!

Mumcentreplus Fri 10-Jun-11 00:34:35

ok..eating and drinking on the bog is officially nasty!!!

Mumcentreplus Fri 10-Jun-11 00:35:10

game on his phone..just to clarify conquest of something or other..

foolserrand Fri 10-Jun-11 00:35:28

We do only have one loo, he gets lots of fibre and I have history of uti's. The situation is made more rubbish (for me) because I spend all day keeping ds (2 yrs) away from the dogs. I need a break!

I feel like he refuses to push. Not to annoy me (and I don't time him, ick!) but maybe lack of muscle strength due to lack of use? I'm close to wretching thinking about all this.

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