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to expect DD's BF to at least shout hello b4 marching upstairs with her???

(15 Posts)
misty0 Thu 09-Jun-11 21:05:27

I have 3 dds 18, 16 and 13.

Youngest daughter hates boys and every thing associated with them.

Middle D's BF always comes and says hello when he arrives, and then bye when he leaves. He's 19. Sometimes he even asks a question, or pretends to be interested in what we're watching on the telly. Bless him. We dont keep him chatting - we remember whats its like to 19 and having to converse with parents. 'Specialy other peoples.

Eldests daughters BF is also 19. He is a nice lad who at first did the hello, good bye thing. After the first couple of weeks it dropped to shouting it through the hall wall - now he just arrives and leaves and we dont know if hes here, been here, about to be here or long gone! Sometimes hes here with her all evening as they cant always afford to go out, which is fine. (She sleeps at his some weekends - but theres no hanky panky under THIS roof, grin)

A we BU to expect some small acknowledgement of our presence from him, seeing we're the ones keeping the roof thats over their heads for the evening? WWYD?

AnyFucker Thu 09-Jun-11 21:10:07

perhaps it's just me, but I would make a point of being in the hall as he passes through, verbally pinning him to the wall and making him interact with me

but then I am a mad old bint who will be hated by all my dd's bf's

I think you have a right to be acknowledged in some small way in your own house

also....you don't have to let them spend all evening in her room you know

you could actually tell them how it's going to be, and if they don't like it, they could fucking lump it ie. go and doss at someone else's gaff

but like I said, I'm kinda old-fashioned like that smile

misty0 Thu 09-Jun-11 21:18:15

Yeah, in my darker moments i've toyed with doing exactly what you sugested any.

We're new to this - only seems 2 minutes ago my girls were squabling over barbies - now one of them's on the pill!

Anyway, i think i will have a word with DD about common curtesy. Just interested in gereral op on this one.

ChaoticAngelofLitha Thu 09-Jun-11 21:32:41

YANBU Good manners cost nothing, it would take him a couple of minutes of his time to say Hi/Hello.

Your middle dd's bf sounds lovely smile

AuntiePickleBottom Thu 09-Jun-11 21:43:13

yanbu, common coutesy.

Jonnyfan Thu 09-Jun-11 22:09:31

Courtesy?

jasper Thu 09-Jun-11 22:18:48

YANBU.
The other day a nine year old classmate of my son's WHOM I HAD NEVER SET EYES ON BEFORE appeared in my house and was about to head upstairs.

I went out and introduced myself and asked his name and told him he was welcome and dragged him in to meet DS's dad and introduce him too!
Never too young or old to be courteous

Tanso Thu 09-Jun-11 22:25:05

only one of them is on the pill??? And the boyfriends are both 19????

IloveJudgeJudy Thu 09-Jun-11 23:11:12

Yes, I think it's just common courtesy. Most of DS1's friends say hello when they come in and goodbye when they go, but one who I hadn't met before, but had heard the name of, just came in, didn't say hello or goodbye, even though all the others were saying it. I told my DS I thought he was rude and he agreed and said that that particular boy was not very popular. I didn't blame my DS as the boys were all coming in one by one and going upstairs to DS's room.

DS2 has had a couple of new friends around recently, not particularly invited, just called in on the way home, which I don't mind, but I do mind when they don't even say hello. I have told DS2 this, but he still doesn't seem to make them say it. I'm going to say something again. It's not all his friends by any means, but it is two of them.

I'm definitely in jasper's camp.

giraffesCantZumba Fri 10-Jun-11 00:08:23

Tanso the pill is not the only form of contraception!

Bogeyface Fri 10-Jun-11 00:10:47

Its not at all U to expect some basic courtesy. I would be having words!

betterwhenthesunshines Fri 10-Jun-11 00:12:17

She's 18 and he's 19 and they spend all evening in her room - you can bet your life there's PLENTY of hanky panky going on under your roof!

ReadyToDrink Fri 10-Jun-11 00:20:00

YANBU, but I'm mostly laughing at the idea of trying to date AF's DD. Terrifying prospect grin

heleninahandcart Fri 10-Jun-11 00:27:27

The teen boy.

You stand in hall, or even better call out loudly every time you hear the door go. Don't stop until you have dragged a sentence out of him.

You are Anyfucker. He will crack first

Standing at the front door shouting BYEEEE in the street also works a treat grin

misty0 Fri 10-Jun-11 12:10:12

Thank you grin you've made me laugh.

Eldests BF has had a couple of family meals with us - and is chatty and relaxed when we do meet up in the hall/garden whatever. It's just the coming in and out of the house thing. I WILL address the situation i think. You've given me the umph to do it. OH agrees with me - but its nice for more opinions.

There realy isnt any hanky panky going on here. 100%. DDs 2 + 3 (+ friends) take great delight in wandering into DD1's room at regular intervals to chat to the BF when he is here, lol. Or join in watching the film if thats what they're doing. Her door is usualy open, and he has a loud voice and you can hear them laughing/chatting pretty much all the time. Its only a small house. My daughter knows the score. Its chuck out time at 10 pm as well, ha ha. They have the opportunity elsewhere.

Totally off subject but the pill comment was interesting. I know it sounds dodgy, 16 + 19 years old and no pill. I know i'll get flammed for saying this - but i think i'm pretty much a good judge of character when it comes to my daughter AND her BF - they've been going out for a year (he's young for his age, Harry Potter ish and clever, and, when DD was still 15 OH litteraly sat the lad down and told him that if he finds out theres anything 'going on' he'll cut the lads kn** off!! And believe me he's convincing) Now she's 16 i am gearing up for the next stage. Taking her down to docs for a prescription. It tricky tho. Dont want to be condoneing it by doing that. hmm Who'd be a parent!!??

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