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AIBU?

To not want to bathe surrounded by the odour of shit?

53 replies

MalkieFraser · 09/06/2011 20:39

I'm 39 weeks pregnant, have had a rather crap day and was looking forward to my long steamy bath after wrestling the toddler to bed. "Enjoy your bath" were my husbands parting words as I swanned off with my book for my evening wallow. His next words, fifteen minutes later were "I'm touching cloth." Now I'd suggested he go to the toilet before I had my bath, in the same knowing way I suggest it to my three year old before we leave the house, and he assured me he was fine. "you can pull the shower curtain closed" he said helpfully as I pulled out the plug. "don't go in a huff, you can get back in when I'm finished." Yeah right!!! Even my half bottle of clary fucking sage isn't enough to mask that reek. So now I'm allegedly petty and spiting myself, but seriously - the relaxing smell is broken. Am I expected to go back in, top up with hot water and try to ignore the fug of my husbands shite???

OP posts:

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MalkieFraser · 09/06/2011 20:40

Relaxing spell that is....

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 09/06/2011 20:42

ewwww
yadnbu!!!

you need a downstairs loo!

coccyx · 09/06/2011 20:44

???I'm touching cloth".
Yuck

IreneHeron · 09/06/2011 20:44

I feel your pain, this was a regular occurrence when we only had on loo. Thankfully we've moved house and now have 3. DH always used to do this to me, it was the plopping sound that got to me, as I rapidly tried to rinse my hair and get out of the room. Doesn't make you feel clean does it.

Pumpernickel10 · 09/06/2011 20:46

malkie so sorry but I did laugh you said what I would say word for word. Sorry but had tears in my eyes.
Thanks for making me laugh but so sorry for the stench.

LeChatRouge · 09/06/2011 20:46

'I'm touching cloth'!

My DSs say 'I've got a turtle head.'

I would insist he tries before you get in and then I'd lock the door.

atswimtwolengths · 09/06/2011 20:47

What does touching cloth mean, ffs?

LeChatRouge · 09/06/2011 20:48

atswimtwolengths when the poo is peeping out and touching the cloth of the underwear.

Littlepurpleprincess · 09/06/2011 20:50

Are you saying that your Husband would come into the bathroom and do a poo while you are still in the bath? or am I getting this completley wrong?

HeadfirstForHalos · 09/06/2011 20:50

Next time you have a bath lock the door, and when he is at the door "touching cloth" pleading to be let in, submerge your ears underwater and ignore!

BertieBotts · 09/06/2011 20:51

That's disgusting! He should have waited until you had finished. Or gone before you started and left the window open for half an hour!

Every house I've ever lived in with one bathroom we've had this rule. For everyone. Baths don't take that long! It's utterly selfish to insist on pooing when someone is in one, IMO. A quick wee is ok though.

MalkieFraser · 09/06/2011 20:51

He came out claiming that it didn't smell

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Pumpernickel10 · 09/06/2011 20:54

Men have no sense of smell, my DH as nearly taken the chrome off the frigging taps with his stench

MalkieFraser · 09/06/2011 20:54

To clarify - he didn't do it while I was in there, just took the hump that I wouldn't be going back in. Like I'm going to hang around graciously in a towel by the door waiting.

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vintageteacups · 09/06/2011 20:57

ewwww - never heard that phrase before and it's yuck!

Naughty DH - I'd make him clean the loo with lots of bleach and then run you a fresh bath that's not flavoured with 'l'odeur de poo' and then climb back in but tbh, after that 'touching cloth' phrase, I think it's spoilt the moment.

Littlepurpleprincess · 09/06/2011 20:57

Oh well that's not as bad, I thought you meant he would go and do his business while you were still in the room!

Now, I've only been married for 11 days so I'm no expert but that seems to intimate for even a married couple.......

lololizzy · 09/06/2011 20:57

my fiance does this all the time as he cant hold on. Drives me nuts as we live in a teeny tiny cramped flat and the bath is the ONLY place i can have peace and relax...
I never do it to him yet he really believes he can't 'hold on' grrrrr

lifechanger · 09/06/2011 21:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MalkieFraser · 09/06/2011 21:03

No probs lifechanger, I'm slowly coming to terms with it :)

OP posts:

GeekLove · 09/06/2011 21:11

I know he doesn't do it deliberately but the three times I have attempted to bathe on my own recently DH has had to come in for a dump. I will make a point of checking on his pop status beforehand

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 09/06/2011 21:17

Do you have a 'services' nearby? I'd send him there next time... or offer him a tube of superglue to keep his cheeks firmly closed. Men...

eurochick · 09/06/2011 21:21

YANBU. FFS could he really not have held it for a while? That kind of urgency is normal in a toddler but not in a grown man. Next time, tell him you're putting him in training, making him hold it for an extra 5 mins each time. I bet if he was driving down the motorway he'd manage to hold it in until he got to the next services rather than shitting in the car!

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BadStepMother · 09/06/2011 21:24

WHat was he meant to DO? I can't wait for a poo ffs! I need to poo I need to poo! It comes on sudden and it's not waiting for anyone to finish their bath!

Get him a potty?

IWillOnlyEatBeans · 09/06/2011 21:28

Have got tears rolling down my cheeks reading this

My hubby and I have been together 7 years and have never once used the toilet in front of each other. We went on safari for our honeymoon and stayed in some permanent tented camps, which had dry toilets in the main body of the tent. Whenever one of us needed the loo (poo or wee) the other was sent to sit outside and they had to sing/whistle the whole time so they couldn't hear anything! The other people on the safari with us thought we were mad

IWillOnlyEatBeans · 09/06/2011 21:30

Oh, and YANBU!

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