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To think father in law should go fuck himself?

(53 Posts)
D0G Thu 09-Jun-11 17:11:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nijinsky Thu 09-Jun-11 17:13:46

DP's father is a bit of an attention seeker, yes?

D0G Thu 09-Jun-11 17:15:48

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D0G Thu 09-Jun-11 17:18:31

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MissPenteuth Thu 09-Jun-11 17:20:41

I think that if a bride/groom/whoever wants people to wear a certain thing at their wedding, then the bride/groom/whoever should be prepared to pay for it themselves.

paisleyII Thu 09-Jun-11 17:22:25

i would be honest and say we have really stressful money situations at the moment and can't pay for suit, if you want him to wear it YOU PAY FOR IT. bloody cheek, i feel angry on your behalf

D0G Thu 09-Jun-11 17:22:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saffy85 Thu 09-Jun-11 17:24:11

Tell him you don't have the money to pay for a suit, whether your DP wanted to be usher or not. That isn't unreasonable especially when you get all of 2 seconds notice that you're expected to pay. Either your FIL coughs up the cash and doesn't expect to be paid back or he shoves the whole usher thing where the sun don't shine.

IreneHeron Thu 09-Jun-11 17:25:53

That is absolutely outrageous. Do you think you were deliberately not told until the last minute about having to stump up for the outfit? Your FIL sounds a bit childish and selfish to be honest, I think you're right to try to have little to do with him.

saffy85 Thu 09-Jun-11 17:25:58

Also I firmly believe that if you ask someone to take part in your wedding you pay for what you want them to wear. If you want them to pay for their own clothes you leave it entirely up to them what they wear and how much they spend.

PamBeesly Thu 09-Jun-11 17:26:16

The father doesn't sound very fatherly...more childish and selfish I'd say, especially as he knows about your current sitution and your DP being short on work. Etiquette, and common courtesy, would dictate that if FIL wants your DP to wear a particular outift, he should pay. I think I'd point it out to him, he sounds quite stingy with his own cash.

D0G Thu 09-Jun-11 17:29:05

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D0G Thu 09-Jun-11 17:32:06

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D0G Thu 09-Jun-11 17:34:24

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SoftKittyWarmKitty Thu 09-Jun-11 17:34:53

That's so out of order. So what happened - has the suit been paid for? If so, who by? I know it's difficult but your DP needs to stand up for himself and his family, and refuse to pay. If that means your FIL has a strop and your DP's no longer welcome at the wedding, then so be it.

scarlettsmummy2 Thu 09-Jun-11 17:34:59

I actually think you are reading too much into it (although I haven't read your other post) Your fil maybe just isn't aware of wedding etiquette, I imagine many men aren't. He probably is just focussed on all his boys taking part in his big day and he didn't think his sons would mind paying- especially if he isn't well off.

I know if my mum got married again and she didn't have much money I certainly wouldn't complain about buying my own bridesmaids dress, I would just be delighted to make her happy by taking part.

I think it is completely different however to expect non immediate family or friends to pay.

scarlettsmummy2 Thu 09-Jun-11 17:36:32

sorry- hadn't read your post at 5.32. can see your point

D0G Thu 09-Jun-11 17:38:54

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Spuddybean Thu 09-Jun-11 17:40:44

It sounds pretty shit on your FiL's part.

Not that it's right but did your DP accept the 'loan'? If so it's hard to say now, 'oh i cant pay you back'. He should have calmly said 'oh i didn't realise we had to pay - in that case, i cant really afford it dad and i have a nice suit of my own to wear' (hindsight is fantastic when you aren't flustered!)

Can you offer to pay the dad back a £1 per month - or something paltry like that?

D0G Thu 09-Jun-11 17:43:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spuddybean Thu 09-Jun-11 17:44:38

so if his dad said 'i'll lend it to you' what was his response?

helenthemadex Thu 09-Jun-11 17:45:04

he sounds a twat but I think its up to your DP to tell him hes not paying for suit

D0G Thu 09-Jun-11 18:13:51

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sizzlers Thu 09-Jun-11 18:28:28

wine ?

YANBU but i don't think you should give your DP an ultimatum . Your DP needs to sort this out with his dad .

HerHissyness Thu 09-Jun-11 18:33:43

Nothing more Groom/Bridezilla than a later in life marriage...

My mum was ridiculous with hers!

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