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to feel totally bereft that the MN I thought I'd found is not longer here? Genuinely upset

(56 Posts)
Hopollo Thu 09-Jun-11 15:13:35

Regular poster, name changed as I'm being a coward and for the reasons in my second paragraph. Social networking such as fb don't do it for me. I was happy and relieved to find this wonderful bunch of intelligent, aware, witty, articulate parents here. Always something to challenge and/or bring a smile, a better class of trivia social commentary, well thought through perspectives. I felt there was finally somewhere I could literally be understood.

I now find that because of recent changes, apart from the mind numbing nature of some posts, some responses reveal breathtaking ignorance at best and bigotry at worst.

Does this go in cycles? Should I just leave here now or AIBU?

Nixea Thu 09-Jun-11 15:15:24

Toodles

Shoesytwoesy Thu 09-Jun-11 15:15:29

it hasn't change, apart from being bigger. yes there is more bigotry though

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 09-Jun-11 15:16:59

AIBU is the holy grail for mind-numbing responses and some surprisingly angry people who presumably have run out of green scratchy biro to write to their local paper with. Unless you can read it all without getting annoyed, I'd have thought hiding AIBU would be the best bet.

Pinkjenny Thu 09-Jun-11 15:17:24

I've been around five years and I think it has become a lot more, I think extreme is the right word to use, actually. Lots of polar opposite, very strong views, which of course was always the case, they just seem very aggressively expressed atm.

I just choose my threads carefully.

GollyHolightly Thu 09-Jun-11 15:21:27

I think the mistake you've make is that you've read a few comments and believed you'd found 'people just like me'. They haven't, and out of the very few people who are 'just like me' there are hundreds who are so about as far removed as that as possible.

Mumsnet is not full of people just like you, it is full of a much bigger range from the class/political/social spectrum than you are ever likely to meet in your usual day to day life.

DoMeDon Thu 09-Jun-11 15:21:32

I don't mind the aggression, swearing, cliquishness - was always so on AIBU. I do mind the lol-ing, hugs, isms and general mindnumbingness of it all.

LaurieFairyCake Thu 09-Jun-11 15:22:53

Cog - I've just laughed out loud at 'green scratchy biro' grin

sunshineandbooks Thu 09-Jun-11 15:24:02

AIBU is the holy grail for mind-numbing responses and some surprisingly angry people who presumably have run out of green scratchy biro to write to their local paper with. Unless you can read it all without getting annoyed, I'd have thought hiding AIBU would be the best bet.

ROFL. It's like picking a scab or reading the Daily Mail - you know you shouldn't but...

PacificDogwood Thu 09-Jun-11 15:24:30

I've been here @ 3 years and find it does go in cycles a bit.
My top tips: chose your threads with care, hide what annoys/upsets you and enjoy what you do like.

In the famous words of scottishmummy we are all just 'words on a screen' anywaygrin

Ragwort Thu 09-Jun-11 15:25:17

As Pinkjenny says - just choose what threads and discussions to get involved in. I also don't like the swearing and 'text speech' type threads so just avoid them - I've been around 10 years and there is still plenty that interests me grin.

OpusProSerenus Thu 09-Jun-11 15:25:56

I've lurked for a long time and posted here and there for the last couple of years but namechange regularly as don't want to get spotted by RL friends. I don't think most of it has changed that much. There does seem to be a bit more extreme stuff but the complaining about it seems to be out of all proportion IMO.

As others have said this is a very wide ranging community, just hide AIBU if you want to avoid the real extremes

Oh I feel your pain, this place has a chavvy air to it these days. sad

akaEmmaFrost Thu 09-Jun-11 15:26:23

Well I have been here for over four years and there has been regular "It's not the same here anymore" threads in that time. But there do seem to be some real twerps hanging around at the moment. Definitely a couple of names that are trying terribly hard to be "controversial".

I certainly don't post as much as I used to, there are less inspiring threads atm it seems.

IslaValargeone Thu 09-Jun-11 15:27:24

Isn't the mindnumbing nature of some posts just the equivalent of the office water cooler type conversation though? Just a bit of easy going chat. Not everyone wants to talk about serious issues, but likewise you can if you want to ; on here there is a place for both.
Bigotry and aggressiveness is a different thing altogether, but I do think you get that everywhere. The anonymity of a computer screen doesn't always bring out the best in people.

messybessie Thu 09-Jun-11 15:27:35

Is it not just the cycles of motherhood though.

I started a few mindnumbing threads about sleep cycles and feeding patterns myself, and then a few years later (and still do) impart my wisdom from time to time. But now, enough with the three month olds who need controlled crying and the weaning neuroses.

I'm over it - so now I steer clear and get very het up about the Oxford Reading Tree grin

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 09-Jun-11 15:28:18

smile That's the internet for you. The ones Jeremy Kyle rejects. Populated (present company excepted of course) with the type of twitchy-eyed, randomly drooling misfit that argues with pillar-boxes and points at planes.

Benefit cheats.... aaarggghhh.... breastfeeding.... blurrrggghhh.... arse!.... knickers!.... AIBU?

PogueMahone Thu 09-Jun-11 15:28:26

I understand why you're feeling like this: I've been taken aback by some sentiments in some high-profile threads recently (namely intolerance and narrow-mindedness). I hope it's just coincidence that they all seem to have come together and do not signal a trend.

IslaValargeone Thu 09-Jun-11 15:28:35

Or do you mean mindnumbing as in feckin' bonkers?

allhailtheaubergine Thu 09-Jun-11 15:31:02

Hide AIBU.

ShirleyKnot Thu 09-Jun-11 15:32:45

It's been weird for a while. It'll calm down again (although there usually has to be some enormous blow out before that happens) I almost flounced, and then I got over myself realised that I must stop opening threads that say stuff like "I HATE PEEDO BENEFIT GAY IMMIGRANTS" unless I'm in the mood for a little SMACKDOWN baby.

vess Thu 09-Jun-11 15:34:48

I had the same feeling as the OP.

LRDTheFeministDragon Thu 09-Jun-11 15:35:59

You know, it does go in cycles, but I think if you're finding it crap it's because you've been on here too much. I was getting really fed up a couple of weeks ago that it seemed to be all bunfights and vacuous crap ... went away on holiday for a while and didn't check the net, and lo and behold I come back and straightaway find there's intelligent chat going on again. The fact I wasn't struggling to find an interesting thread I hadn't read already probably helped.

Just take a break and come back. smile

Hopollo Thu 09-Jun-11 15:40:05

Isla mindnuming as in feckin' bonkers yes grin

IslaValargeone Thu 09-Jun-11 15:42:36

Ah fair enough then, I must admit I've read a few posts lately where I have wondered if the author has been lobotomised.
I like a bit of vacous nonsense sometimes but general fuckwittery boils my piss.

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