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To think, why when there are so many wicked people in the world, did God have to take my Dad

(12 Posts)
passiveaggresive Thu 09-Jun-11 12:16:33

Because my life is a bit rubbish just now (i am sorting it out) but i want my dad but the only way i see him is by sitting by his grave. Its been six years and most times its ok, but i was his little princess and he would have made everything right.

allegrageller Thu 09-Jun-11 12:18:08

I'm so sorry for your loss pa.

Not much more to say than that. Is your mum still alive? What other support do you have? a big hug from me anyway.

thumbwitch Thu 09-Jun-11 12:19:42

((hugs)) for you - I know what you mean. sad
My mum died nearly 4y ago, when I was 19w pg with my DS - she didn't even see his second scan pic. sad I still miss talking to her; and I still miss my Nan (her mum) desperately because she was just lovely and would always make me feel better about stuff.

flurp Thu 09-Jun-11 12:20:31

I know how you feel. My dad died 5 years ago this year and I still miss him every day. I went to a family funeral recently at the same place he was cremated and I just wanted him there with me so much.
I have had lots of problems over the years too which he would have sorted for me, and I still hear his voice in my head all the time.
I don't know what to advise really, just want you to know I feel the same sad

AgentZigzag Thu 09-Jun-11 12:21:19

How lovely that your Dad made you feel so special smile

You must have meant so much to each other.

Take one bit of the shit you're dealing with at a time.

Your Dad can still help you, what would he have said if you could talk to him now?

Go easy on yourself and take care smile

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 09-Jun-11 12:21:30

No-one took your father and no-one allows bad people to carry on living. We live, we die and when our time's up it's up, regardless of how well or how badly we behaved. I'm sorry you miss your Dad so much but he must have made the very best of the life he had and must have been a terrific father for you to remember him so fondly. You can make everything right yourself BTW.... keep that in mind.

fruitshootsandheaves Thu 09-Jun-11 12:21:42

big hug from me too.
My dad is still alive but has dementia and no longer recognises me. Sadly my last memories of him will probably be the aggression, sadness and incontinence issues due to his dementia.
It was my mum's funeral exactly 19 years ago today, she would have made things right too.

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns Thu 09-Jun-11 12:22:06

i know how you feel, i lost my grandma in november last year and i KNOW i wouldnt be how i am now if she was here, i KNOW she would make it all ok. and nothing helps, its just all so unfair. It was her birthday this week, i thought my chest was going to explode. No advice just, i feel the same sad

Bluemoonrising Thu 09-Jun-11 12:24:06

I feel your pain.

I lost my dad two and a half years ago.

Have a hug from me x

passiveaggresive Thu 09-Jun-11 12:31:19

frootshootsandheaves I know exactly how you feel - my dad had dementia and they don't call it the long goodbye for nothing sad I lost my dad two years before he died when DD2 was eight weeks old, he hadn't even met her because he used to have outburts and we were worried abuot it. It wasn't him, he was the goodest (i know that isnt a word) and kindest man i have ever known. I dont think i ever saw him angry and i felt sad today because my life is a mess and i know that he would be broken hearted. I do try my best to be a nice person though and do good by others, so whilst i am not "sorted" just yet he will be happy because manners and politeness meant so much to him. He also knows i have a lovely DP to look after me and he did see my eldest daughter grow up and was like her father. She misses him too, but wont talk to me about it sad

Thankyou everyone for your kind words.

Cogito, i know what you are saying, i am a catholic but today i reserve the right to feel very angry with God.

Kallista Thu 09-Jun-11 13:22:41

PA - it's a question i ask all the time - as a nurse i see many lovely people suffer and die young - it just seems so unfair.
Yet when i researched the Nazi's euthanasia programme i was shocked to find that the majority of the perpetrators lived to a very old age. As do many terrorists and war criminals.
The only thing that you can do is take comfort in your religion and speak to a priest about how you feel.
I don't have clear religious beliefs but i do believe that those who led decent lives do have some kind of good afterlife, but truly evil people just die.
Your dad's legacy was unconditional love for you - please gain strength for the future from that.

OpusProSerenus Thu 09-Jun-11 13:30:48

OP, I too know how you feel. My Dad died 8 years ago and I still miss him.

The only consolation is that we had such wonderful fathers. Some people are never lucky enough to experience that.

Try to remember that although it is a fitting tribute to your Dad that you miss him, he would not want you to be unhappy. When I feel down I try to think of something positive to cheer me and to honour him.

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