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...to smoke cannabis while breastfeeding

(326 Posts)

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SemiCharmedWife Thu 09-Jun-11 09:19:55

I don't know where to begin.

Actually I do, I'm not a troll, I'm not a regular poster who has namechanged, I'm a lurker who reads the reviews and reads the forums when the baby is having a day of eating and I am stuck to the sofa. This is probably a one-shot username and as it is, I am a little worried someone will trace my IP because what I'm doing is illegal and probably a bit wrong, but I can't be bothered with the SWIM (Someone Who Isn't Me) games. Please be aware I am not taking this lightly, but I don't know who else to come clean to.

I realise by saying 'I'm not a troll', 95% of people will nod and think 'that's what a troll would say'.

I'm procrastinating.

I still smoke weed while breastfeeding DD (4 months) and I was still toking while pregnant. I found out I was pregnant when I was over 20 weeks gone last autumn - if it had been all nicely planned, I tell myself I would have given up. I had an easy pregnancy, a natural labour and DD was a week overdue and perfectly healthy. I am aware that I potentially have dodged a bullet and I would have been devastated if there had been something wrong with her. I think I'm an average mum. I love her (although it wasn't instant, she makes me melt now when she smiles and laughs), I am patient 97% of the time, most housework gets done and I take her out of the house every other day at least.

But I never managed to stop smoking cannabis.

I was going to stop at the new year, then I was going to stop when the baby was born, then I was only going to smoke when the baby was in bed and we tried... but right now, we're smoking as soon as DH gets in from work, then maybe after dinner then almost definitely before bed. One of us stays with DD and we take turns if she's being grumpy, otherwise we go outside and keep an eye on her if she's downstairs/take the monitor if she's in bed. I don't get so stoned that I couldn't react if there was an emergency, I just relax and chat with DH.

Are there any studies that say whether the downsides of smoking weed outweight the downsides of formula? I'm reluctant to give up breastfeeding because it's working for us and I wouldn't be able to pick it back up again, but I can't help but think I am drugging my DD sometimes. Are there actually plenty of mums who still smoke and it's a big, well-kept secret? Am I worrying too much and me and DH will grow out of it (I make us sound like teenagers, we're both mid-20s)? It has to be said that while I would quite like to stop sometimes, my DH will apply pressure to spend money on weed, is very pro-smoking and doesn't think I'm doing/have done anything wrong and even voiced the opinion that I had such an easy pregnancy because I was smoking (not in spite of!). What will the police/SS actually do if someone reports me? Do I deserve to have my baby taken away from me?

I don't know what I'm expecting by posting this, but I'm too scared to be honest with the Health Visitor or the Doctor and I'm even lying to most of my friends (who knew I smoked but presumed I gave up when I was pregnant/had DD). Maybe I need to have my arse kicked and my face rubbed into cold hard facts that prove what I am doing is DISGUSTING and WRONG. Maybe people will surprise me and admit a lot of parents (especially with littl'uns who don't understand) still smoke cannabis, my DH is right and I should just stop worrying. Maybe people will empathise and have ideas on how to say no while DH is outside the back door smoking.

And let the judging commence.

starsandstripes Thu 09-Jun-11 09:29:22

You clearly know what you are doing is wrong or you wouldn't have posted surely your daughter means more to you than getting stoned? Get in touch with your HV they will be able to help.

To be honest if you really wanted to stop you would. At the moment you clearly don't want to.

This comes from someone who used to smoke weed as a teen but grew out of it before I had children.

OnlyWantsOne Thu 09-Jun-11 09:29:51

Yes YABU

Seek some professional help.

winnybella Thu 09-Jun-11 09:31:21

effects on baby

GeekCool Thu 09-Jun-11 09:32:46

And let the judging commence.

Ok. YABU

Do you feel addicted or are you being childish and 'just don't want to'?

justpaddling Thu 09-Jun-11 09:33:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully Thu 09-Jun-11 09:33:22

Yep, you really mustn't.

But you know that.

I know how hard it is, asking on here for your arse to be kicked is a good first step.

tomhardyismydh Thu 09-Jun-11 09:33:30

a very honest post I no nothing about facts and figures, but I would seek help from GP if you feel you cant just stop smoking. I very much doubt that ss would become involved or you would at all risk losing your dd unless there are other very drastic factors to consider, but it does not sound as though there are from your post.

I suppose it is a difficult thing also for your DH to admit, but Im sure that it is not doing your dd any good. However I do think that you both need to make this choice together, I cant see how one person in the relationship can stop and the other continue. He should be far more supportive and I would be questioning our future together If this is such a life altering choice to smoke or not to smoke.

Also I have no idea how long the chemical will remain in your blood stream or transfer to your milk. But hopefully someone who does will be along to advice. You have nothing to lose talking to your GP.

Nixea Thu 09-Jun-11 09:33:59

Simple. Either give up the weed or formula feed. Anything else is selfish, harmful and damaging to your baby's health.

tomhardyismydh Thu 09-Jun-11 09:34:16

xpost with a few

OnlyWantsOne Thu 09-Jun-11 09:34:31

can I also point out the risk of smoking anything, and the increased chances of SIDS etc

iskra Thu 09-Jun-11 09:34:57

You don't deserve to have your baby taken away!

I think there are plenty of mums who still smoke. I didn't smoke during pregnancy but have had the occasional smoke (once every few months) while breastfeeding, I know a couple of friends who have too.

There aren't very many studies out there IIRC - most cover a gamut of drugs rather than just cannabis - I think there was a small one done in Jamaica which found no ill effects. I haven't really looked into it.

However, what strikes me in your post is that you DO want to stop. You need to get this through to your DH.

slowshow Thu 09-Jun-11 09:36:05

You are an addict and you need professional help. I hope you can be honest with your GP/HV, for your daughter's sake.

winnybella Thu 09-Jun-11 09:36:08

Seems it's stored for a long time, tomhardy, have a look at my link few posts up.

Obviously YABU, because it's bad for your baby and it may impair your ability to care for her. And, tbh, I've seen long term effects of smoking pot and it ain't pretty.

WoTmania Thu 09-Jun-11 09:36:49

the problem with cannabis is that the chemicals stay in your body (and milk) for up to 3 weeks.

WowOoo Thu 09-Jun-11 09:38:50

Read the Kellymom link and really think about how selfish you are being.
I smoked years ago. Sometimes I would absolutley love a spliff to help me unwind - but I realise it is not compatible with being a decent parent.

Having a partner who smokes also doesn't help you. Could you both try to cut down a lot with a view to quitting?

ash6605 Thu 09-Jun-11 09:39:34

DUSGUSTING and WRONG......you said it! Enough said!

DooinMeCleanin Thu 09-Jun-11 09:42:27

I think in order to quit you really need to get your DH onside. I've used drugs before, not cannabis, I don't really like the feeling it gives me, but stronger stuff. Luckily I didn't become addicted, but it was impossible to say no while everyone around me was doing it. If I felt I was using too frequently and it was becoming something I needed rather than just enjoyed, then I took myself away from my social group for a while.

Obviously you can't just walk out on your DH, but you need his support in this. It would be easier if you could do this together.

The report linked to showed no long term effects, so if you stop now, all should be fine and you'd have nothing to feel guilty about, but in your shoes I'd be very worried about slowing the babies development.

Don't feel ashamed about asking for help from professionals. That is what they are there for and they will have seen far worse than some-one wanting to give up cannabis.

You should feel proud for taking the first step and admitting this is a problem. Good luck to you. I hope it works out. Keep posting for support if you feel you need to, just ignore the nastier comments.

HalfTermHero Thu 09-Jun-11 09:42:49

Yabu and I think you know that. You definitely sound like you have a drug dependance. It is worrying that your responsibility for your baby cannot motivate you to sort yourself out. I reckon that you need to make concerted efforts to quit. If you don't then your child will soon be old enough to notice your habit. perhaps there is a drugs helpline you can ring anonymously in order to seek advice re giving up.

ShirleyKnot Thu 09-Jun-11 09:43:21

I think you need to either stop the cannabis or start on formula.

Have you thought about calling Frank I know it's aimed at younger people, but they might be able to steer you in the right direction.

Your DH probably should be thinking about packing it in as well, I know you think that it won't affect your parenting...but it really, really will.

DoMeDon Thu 09-Jun-11 09:43:37

Ditch the weed and your 'D'H if he's not grown up enough to support you. YAB childish.

GwendolineMaryLacey Thu 09-Jun-11 09:45:18

Are there any studies that say whether the downsides of smoking weed outweight the downsides of formula?

Oh fgs, really? Now formula feeding is worse than drug taking while bf hmm

MollysChamber Thu 09-Jun-11 09:47:25

Please stop. Now.

miniwedge Thu 09-Jun-11 09:48:54

Cannabis or weed? They are different.

Cannabis/hash - you have no idea what crappy chemicals including shit like bleach have been mixed in, stays in the system a good while and impairs your ability to drive safely, make rational decisions.

Weed - can cause or exacerbate mental health issues, stays in the system a good while and impairs your ability to drive safely, make rational decisions.

With either, whilst you think you are safe and able to care for your baby effectively, you're not. There is a huge misconception that you are safe to drive after a quick toke, that you are just relaxed/chilled. You're not. I can't link to studies as I'm at work right now and access is limited to a small number of sites, I'll come back later.

My partner smoked weed for years, it really affected him. He thought he was just relaxed, in reality he was incommunicative, unresponsive to our children and unsafe to drive in an emergency.

You're not just smoking the odd one, you're smoking almost as much as my dp was and that is so not good.

fuzzpigFriday Thu 09-Jun-11 09:49:06

You know even if you formula feed, it does not mean your baby is safe. She will still breathe it in (clothes, furniture) and you may be incapacitated. It only has to take one dodgy lot of weed to totally knock you sideways.

What about when she's a toddler, can you guarantee she won't find it and ingest it?

How do you think she will feel when she learns what cannabis actually is and realises smoking is more important to you than her health? Because even if it isn't, that's how your actions seem.

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