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or am I over thinking this? Some perspectives needed please.

(16 Posts)
philmassive Wed 08-Jun-11 16:18:21

I have been wondering about this since the weekend. Ds's grandad often plays rough and tumble games with them, which they enjoy and request. In fun my younger ds (in particular) shouts 'no, stop' but it is clearly in fun as he is laughing at being tickled or held down or whatever.

The thing is that this set me thinking about the example this was setting in terms of behaviour when people say 'no' or 'stop'. I always tell my boys that if someone says 'no', 'don't' or 'stop' then it means that they should do as they have been asked - more to teach them for future dealings with girls than just yet tbh. But obviously this activity with their grandad is not reinforcing this message.

Am I overthinking this or should I be worried?

ooohyouareawfulbutilikeyou Wed 08-Jun-11 16:19:24


MrSpoc Wed 08-Jun-11 16:21:33

He is clearlyu a peodo.

Come on it is clearly a game and the child understands. Now when they get older and get into a romantic situation with a girl it will be clear if the girl is laughing saying stop or crying saying stop.

May be you are over thinking a little.

GypsyMoth Wed 08-Jun-11 16:21:44


TheLadyEvenstar Wed 08-Jun-11 16:24:24

hmm biscuit

Besom Wed 08-Jun-11 16:24:34

No the exact opposite - it's safe and fun so it's teaching them what is appropriate. Therefore a good thing.

AxlRose Wed 08-Jun-11 16:25:08


CatIsSleepy Wed 08-Jun-11 16:25:37

it's a game

don't worry about it

ShirleyKnot Wed 08-Jun-11 16:25:57

biscuit hmm biscuit smile [grin biscuit


philmassive Wed 08-Jun-11 16:27:03

OK I'm thinking I haven't explained this very well.

I'm not in the least bit thinking that there is anything dodgy about grandad playing with ds's.

What I'm wondering is about mixed messages to ds's in terms of no menaing no.

cjbartlett Wed 08-Jun-11 16:27:37

Aw bless you
yes you're overthinking

philmassive Wed 08-Jun-11 16:27:53

or even meaning

cjbartlett Wed 08-Jun-11 16:28:58

You could say it's ok if you're having fun and a laugh etc
but tbh if they say stop it he should be able to guage when he's going too far
I couldn't stand being tickled

bupcakesandcunting Wed 08-Jun-11 16:29:30

Well fuck my old boots.

backwardpossom Wed 08-Jun-11 16:34:44

grin bupcakes hehe

HidingInTheUndergrowth Wed 08-Jun-11 16:45:35

hmm I think you need to put this in context a bit. it really is a very very small minority of people who grow up to hurt or rape anyone. Most people grow up in a world of complicated mixed messages and are still magically able to understand perfectly easily when no means no. This is a pretty common game you are discribing with the gp so I really can't see that there is any real risk at all of it causing a problem with your kids when they grow up.

And I am going to throw in a biscuit for good measure and because you surely win todays award for parent paranoia

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