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Mother's phone etiquette. AIBU or is she? (It's her, isn't it?!)

(87 Posts)
bupcakesandcunting Wed 08-Jun-11 14:20:56

My mum is driving me round the twist with her bleeding mobile phone behaviour. We bicker over it a fair bit, including last night. She says I'm being a priss. I say she's being rude. If I give you some examples, can the MN jury clear this one up please? Ta grin

*Gets 'phone out in sitting room, whilst DH, DS and I are watching Eggheads. Proceeds to dial her friend and speak in unhushed tones. When she is having problems hearing her friend, she will pull a wincey face at me and gesture for me to turn the telly down shock

*Sat at the dinner table after I have cooked, she'll hear that her phone has a message alert. She will leave the table to read the message, sometimes she will even ring the sender back, at the table, using one hand to hold the phone, the other hand to try and eat. shock

*There have been occasions (Mother's Day for example) where MIL has been present. MIL and my mum don't see each other often. MIL will be talking to mum and mum will read a received text message, in the middle of conversation. shock

There are more. It's the kind of behaviour that I would expect from a fourteen year old, not a fifty four year old granny. I really shouldn't have to be remonstrating with my mother over politeness wrt mobile phones, should I? Or am I being a stuffy cow?

ChaosTrulyReigns Wed 08-Jun-11 14:23:46

Can you secretely get hold of her phone and change the rigtone to "I'm horny, horny, horny, horny"?


eurochick Wed 08-Jun-11 14:23:59

I think YANBU over the first two. I agree the third is rude, but I would say it is v commonly done (mostly because I do it, as do most of my friends....).

LittleMissFlustered Wed 08-Jun-11 14:24:17

It's impolite at any age. This is why my mobile is usually set to a very low beep. Well, that and that I hate answering the phone in general grin

Get one of those comedy inflatable phones, then when she's next venting about something in your presence, whip it out and do a Dom Jolly at her "hello, I can't hear you. I'm with my mum, carry on it's not important!" grin

bupcakesandcunting Wed 08-Jun-11 14:25:10

Chaos you are a bad influence grin

Flisspaps Wed 08-Jun-11 14:26:01

YANBU. Definitely second Chaos, if you can prise the phone out of her hand long enough to change the ringtone or language settings grin

TobyLerone Wed 08-Jun-11 14:27:01

YANBU. That is rude.

JanMorrow Wed 08-Jun-11 14:27:40

It's rude yes and would drive me mad. I'd ignore her request on the tv one and tell her to take the call in another room in a loud voice.. and I'd say, no phones at the table! in a loud voice at the dinner table.. if she wants to act like a child, treat her like one!

There's not a lot you can do about the third one really!

Show her this thread though -


happy to help.

Missgaga Wed 08-Jun-11 14:28:15

She"s being very rude, important phone calls can be made but away from the group so as not to disturb them. My oh does the same and sends me mad. Ask her to put it away when she's with you.

Daenerys Wed 08-Jun-11 14:28:43

this sort of reminds me of a funny ad

and YANBU! it's quite rude esp. reading texts when people are talking to you

diddl Wed 08-Jun-11 14:28:53

I think that all of those things are rude.

That said, depending on how often you see each other, it seems rude to sit watching TV tbh.

needanewname Wed 08-Jun-11 14:29:00

YANBU, Very rude indeed. I have been know to have to restrain myself from the phone at times, pisses DH off no end, I'm getting better though!

skybluepearl Wed 08-Jun-11 14:29:35

i think all three are rude but the 2nd and 3rd are particularly bad. I think you should show her this thread ..

bupcakesandcunting Wed 08-Jun-11 14:31:27

We see each other twice a week. On a tuesday, it's for the entire day. We have eaten dinner, we then sit to watch Eggheads before DS has his bath. We like a good quiz show in at Chez Cunting. Please note: my mother would rather sit and watch the gogglebox than sit chatting, at any time. This is a definite.

fgaaagh Wed 08-Jun-11 14:32:00

She is being very, very rude!

WineComesInAtTheMouth Wed 08-Jun-11 14:33:05

Nah. You are not a stuffy cow. I can't stand it if my friends are merrily texting/updating facebook/or answering calls when we're out having lunch. Definitely one of my pet peeves which will almost instantly cause one of my cats arse faces.

And a definite YANBU to the interruption Eggheads. Tsk. shock

My 60 year mum is the opposite. Her phone is hardly ever on as she likes to
save the battery. Aaagh.

nancydrewfoundaclue Wed 08-Jun-11 14:33:20

Phones at the table unless you are on call dr/duty lawyer/partner of 42week pregnant woman are rude and shouldn't be tolerated.

Phone whilst you are watching TV is rude although possibly less so if it is her house.

Retrieving text messages doesn't really bother me but can understand that it makes others hmm

SenoritaViva Wed 08-Jun-11 14:33:45

Is she a teenager? Can't believe a daughter is complaining her mother is like this!!!
She is BVU

bupcakesandcunting Wed 08-Jun-11 14:38:24

I think that the reading text messages in company thing is open to interpretation... For example, I wouldn't mind a friend saying "ooh excuse me, just need to read this, won't be a sec", I wouldn't bat an eyelid at that. But there are people I wouldn't do it in front of, like my MIL. She is in her sixties and the whole mobile thing has passed her by, tbh. I can see her thinking "Oh, don't mind me..." when my mother disengages from the coversation to read her messages...

GinSlinger Wed 08-Jun-11 14:38:31

definitely rude - we were reduced to doing a round-up of mobiles before xmas dinner last year because of some of the bad behaviour - in particular from adults.

diddl Wed 08-Jun-11 14:39:13

Maybe we´re an odd family-but mobiles are switched off when people get home.

But if your mum doesn´t want to chat-why is she phoning a friend?

yoshiLunk Wed 08-Jun-11 14:39:30


It's very rude and childish.

I have teenage stepsons who know they shouldn't do this, they sometimes do it, but never get away without a beating ticking off.

I also have a sister who is the same age as your Mum, is perfectly well behaved mobile phone wise. I can only fault her for insisting on holding it at full arms length when trying to read it, and pulling her 'text reading face'.

SenoritaViva Wed 08-Jun-11 14:40:57

Sorry, my post didn't make sense, blush that will teach my pregnant brain to do more than 2 things at once. What I meant was Can't believe a daughter is having to complain that her mother is doing this...or something along those lines.

bupcakesandcunting Wed 08-Jun-11 14:41:26

"But if your mum doesn´t want to chat-why is she phoning a friend?"

A lot of the time, she can't be bothered to actually write a text out, plus her two best friends are on the same network so it's free calls to them. I suppose it's easier for her to ring them to answer their texts than to write out a text. hmm

diddl Wed 08-Jun-11 14:41:35

And if we visit they are not switched on-because we are visiting someone.

In fact when I was wlking the dog with my teenager she checked her phone & I thought that that was bloody rude.

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