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AIBU to be pissed of with DP for doing something I said not to?

(15 Posts)
MetalSian Wed 08-Jun-11 11:00:23

So both me and my DP play a computer game, it has an expansion pack that came out yesterday but isn't needed until September.
It costs £25.00 and I specifically asked him not to buy it yet as we don't have the money to waste.

Instead I wake up this morning to find whilst I have been asleep he has used my paypal through my bank account to purchase it.

I am feeling pretty pissed off tbh.
As it has happened before with him wasting probably by now upwards of £70 on a game that he doesn't need to.
Fair enough if he hadn't just lost 'another' job then I might not be so angry.

But this morning it seems to pushing me over the edge.
Possibly a bit unreasonable as it is a relatively small thing =/.

worraliberty Wed 08-Jun-11 11:02:16

Change your password?

Trinaluce Wed 08-Jun-11 11:02:33

YANBU - and if he used your account without your permission that's theft

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 08-Jun-11 11:03:47

YANBU... It's apalling when you're saddled with a spendthrift. Especially one that isn't bringing anything to the party. Spending money out of your bank account is dishonest, even if you hadn't agreed that he wasn't going to buy the item. All you can do with this type is seriously clip their wings and treat them like kids. Keep them very short of cash, take their CCs off them and change all the passwords on bank accounts, Paypal etc regularly.

MetalSian Wed 08-Jun-11 11:08:45

I changed my password this morning.

Feeling a bit guilty though as he is trying to give up smoking, one day without having one.
If I have a go at him it just means he will start smoking again =/.

chipmonkey Wed 08-Jun-11 11:13:20

You can't cause him to start smoking again. That is entirely up to him.

pozzled Wed 08-Jun-11 11:15:27

YANBU. It would be very different if it were his own money, but for him to have spent your money when you asked him not to is incredibly disrespectful.

Icelollycraving Wed 08-Jun-11 11:16:32

And do you fund his cigarettes too?
Do not tell him your new passwords however much he sulks. Living with someone with no control over spending is a nightmare but you hold the purse strings so show him that it is unacceptable by limiting his funds.

DizzyKipper Wed 08-Jun-11 11:23:06

Personally I don't see my partner as going against my wishes and spending money we don't have, particularly right after he'd lost a job, as a small thing. YANBU Can you either return it or sell it on to try to recover some of the costs? He definitely shouldn't get to keep it.

btw it's not your fault if he smokes again. He's an adult and responsible for himself, if he does choose to smoke a cigarette because of what is going in then he is fully responsible for that decision, not you, so please don't let him try to guilt you that way either if he tries.

BeeLister Wed 08-Jun-11 11:25:45

Can you cancel the order or return it when it arrives?

MetalSian Wed 08-Jun-11 11:29:07

Unfortunately it is all done online, no physical game as such.
So there is pretty much nothing I can do about it.

catsmother Wed 08-Jun-11 11:32:17

Claw the £25 back by feeding him beans on toast instead of his usual food until whenever ????

Might make him think twice next time.

pingu2209 Wed 08-Jun-11 11:33:33

Yup - change your password. My dh does not know my Pay Pal password.

We once had joint Nectar cards. I had saved up over £40 on it and had hoped to save at least £80 by Christmas.

One day my dh came home with some crappy DVDs. He said he had paid for them on 'his' Nectar card. Basically with the points I had saved up from the family shopping. Needless to say I cut his card up and said he wasn't allowed to use it. Bloody men.

passiveaggresive Wed 08-Jun-11 11:42:08

So, he wastes £70 on a computor game and smokes? Wasting money on shite you dont need when he has just lost his job - err, what about the mortgage/rent etc, or does he just expect you to stump up for that too - he needs a kick up the arse

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 08-Jun-11 12:04:30

Ex smokers always like to blame someone else when they decide to start smoking again, so don't fall for that old chestnut. Yet another reason to keep his cash supply very, very tight indeed. If he's not working, he doesn't need spends....

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