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homework-how much of your it is actually done by you, honestly?

(104 Posts)
merlincat Tue 07-Jun-11 16:40:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

prettyfly1 Tue 07-Jun-11 16:42:49

uuur - that THEY do it. Her teachers know her capabilities and you cheating and doing it for her is very well meaning but doubtless they are fully aware of it. How can a child learn if you do it for them, even with sn and if they are struggling?

Bucharest Tue 07-Jun-11 16:43:05

I don't do anything. (honestly) But here in Italy I am expected to. Other kids parents tell me they dictate entire essays to their kids. Goes totally against my moral (and professional) ethics and dd and her teachers know I will not do it.

I'm crap at maths anyway.

In your case, I don't know. Is your help helping? In the long run? Surely it might be masking problems that the teachers would want to know about?

overmydeadbody Tue 07-Jun-11 16:44:48

Oh I do sympathise. I have to 'help' DS an awful lot with his homework or he wouldn't even do it, he has AS too. He would have no motivation to do it on his own but gets satisfaction out of handing in a good peice of work that is praised.

Like yo, I rationalise it by thinking I am bringing out his potential (I always have him there to 'do' what I say though, don't actually do it all for him). But I know he does almost no work at school because there is no one there to help him one to one (another story...) so this is my way of boosting his self confidence by actually being able to complete work.

I'd say most parents supervise and help when it comes to homework. To varying degree, at primary age.

How old is your DD and your DS? My DS is 8. He literally would not do it if I wasn't sitting with him the whole time.

merlincat Tue 07-Jun-11 16:45:18

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worraliberty Tue 07-Jun-11 16:47:16

I don't don't do any of it either (DS's age 12 and 8) but obviously I check it over and answer any questions they may have.

I used to virtually do DS1's homework for him (aged 19 now) and long term it did him no good whatsoever. In fact it made him a lot less willing to do anything for himself.

fgaaagh Tue 07-Jun-11 16:47:59

Er, they do all of it?

Either me or DH help when they're struggling with how to do something (example: if they don't know how to look at Queen Elizabath's era of dress/fashion online, I've shown DD how to look information up when she couldn't find it, it was too specific - a good opportunity to talk about other ways of finding out the information, how to judge what looks like a good website, plan a trip to the library, whatever)... but not to do it for them.

I don't see what is gained if a parent actually does the work?

I'm quite ruthless in this - I've sent DCs to school with it undone in the knowledge they'd get detentions/marked down for non-complete work when it's their call e.g. they misjudged how long it would take, faffed around and left it until the last minute.

I'm happy to help when they're struggling, or if there's been something outside of their control, but not otherwise. They have responsibilities to deliver what's expected. It's a valuable life lesson.

GetOrf Tue 07-Jun-11 16:49:07

I have never done any of it.

merlin you need to do all of his homework for the next 5 years to make up for the Benedict Cumberbatch fantasy debacle grin

katvond Tue 07-Jun-11 16:49:39

My DD does it all, how's she going to learn if I do it for her, she can learn from her own mistakes

bigbuttons Tue 07-Jun-11 16:49:45

I will guide if they don't understand what to do ( for younger children), maybe say "that's crap do it again" (to older children), give them ideas if they are stuck but No I'd never do it. There's no point and it doesn't help them in the slightest. Homework is there to help the teachers see what your child has understood , not what their parents have.

it's like at any competition in school Easter bonnet stuff. It's s obvious the parents have done the entire thing. Bloody embarrassing.

overmydeadbody Tue 07-Jun-11 16:49:57

And the really frustrating thing with DS is that he struggles the most with homework that most other kids can do on their own, the fun, creative, investigative homework that allows the child a lot of freedom over what to do DS cannot do, at all, without me talking him through every step and it being a battle. Give me a page of maths sums for him to do anyday, at least that he could do on his own (provided it's not a bright colourful worksheet full of distracting pictures that causes him to panic and hide under the table...)

This half term they had to design a poster advertising the Olympic Games, the kids of homework all year 3 and 4 kids should be able to do alone, and enjoy, and exactly the sort of thing my DS cannot do off his own back.

merlincat Tue 07-Jun-11 16:54:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bucharest Tue 07-Jun-11 16:58:29

Given the ages, yes.

Has the teacher not mentioned it at all?

You aren't going to be in the exam room next year are you? What's she going to do then? Hope this isn't assessed coursework you're doing for her.

MrsDaffodill Tue 07-Jun-11 17:02:08

Depends on the task. This half term it was a really expensive recipe so agreed with a couple of mums that we'd share the ingredient cost and I'd cook it with three of them and take pictures.

DS chose three pictures which I printed for him and then he wrote up what they did around it.

So I guess I helped but the content is his. Will be interesting to know what the other two did.

Journey Tue 07-Jun-11 17:03:49

You're doing your DD's homework and she is 15! I thought you were talking about a 5 or 6 year old. Your DD should definately be doing it herself. How will she manage when she goes to uni if she is used to you doing her homework?

Why aren't your supporting your DS's homework if he is struggling?

worraliberty Tue 07-Jun-11 17:04:32

As difficult as it is, if anyone's child for whatever reason is unable to do the homework set for them...you must tell the teacher or how will they ever know?

If your child refuses to do their homework for whatever reason..again the teacher should be told.

I've done my years at school and all the homework that came with it. I draw the line at starting all over again.

Maryz Tue 07-Jun-11 17:07:39

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Psychpineapple Tue 07-Jun-11 17:09:17

My dc do their own homework (or pay someone else to do it grin) as they never have any homework to do at home - (always done at lunch/on the bus etc)

But always commented on by teachers how fantastic their home work is, so homework def done by someone (hopefully the dc) other than me!!!

reelingintheyears Tue 07-Jun-11 17:09:26

I never did any for my DC.

They had access to a computer and books galore.

I helped with reading and stuff when they were little but in secondary it was up to them...though i did nag them to get on with it.

worraliberty Tue 07-Jun-11 17:09:36

I'm sure they would get much better results if they would let me at least read things through for spelling/grammar/irrelevant and incorrect facts etc

Well as a parent that's something I insist upon doing. I signed a Home/School agreement stating I would.

LineRunner Tue 07-Jun-11 17:11:08

We all refused to do the 'homework' that was, 'Build a scale model of a motte and bailey castle'. Fuck that.

Riveninside Tue 07-Jun-11 17:11:13

None although i dont think ive ever seen them do homework. I think they do it on the bus. They are 18 and 16

Psychpineapple Tue 07-Jun-11 17:11:55

Rivenside glad mine aren't the only ones!!!

reelingintheyears Tue 07-Jun-11 17:12:24

And when we didn't have a computer there was the library.

I also got the 'I did it at lunchtime' story.....hmm

But they soon got found out if they hadn't really done it in time.

Maryz Tue 07-Jun-11 17:14:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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