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To think it's pointless to have a big hen party if you have a mortgage, kids etc?

(18 Posts)
MrsJamin Tue 07-Jun-11 14:18:01

I've been invited to a pretty big hen party of a friend who has lived with her DP for years, they have two children and a mortgage. I mean, what freedoms are you giving up? What are you celebrating?

AmazingBouncingFerret Tue 07-Jun-11 14:20:24

Maybe she just wants to go out on the pish and do something special with her friends to celebrate her upcoming wedding?

Traditionally, yes, giving up freedom etc but I wouldnt say it was pointless

GeekCool Tue 07-Jun-11 14:23:09

Gosh you'll be fun at it won't you? DH and I also had a child and mortgage, plus hen/stag do. Do you object to their lifestyle? I understand what hen and stags were about, but meanings/traditions etc can change dramatically.

If you see nothing to celebrate or enjoy, don't go. You'd only spoil it for others.

WannabeMusician Tue 07-Jun-11 14:25:33

You could say the same about their upcoming wedding, a bit pointless if they have been together that long. But if that is the kind of thing you would say, I suggest you don't go wink

laiyan Tue 07-Jun-11 14:25:59

ive been married for fifteen years, and would love a hen party. its about celebrating with your friends. not leaving freedoms

YankNCock Tue 07-Jun-11 14:31:23

YAB a bit U. It's just a big pissup for each to have with their own friends before the wedding day--I don't think it means any more than that these days.

However, I'm not generally a fan of extravagence for this sort of thing. If it's one of these hen dos that goes on for days and you're being expected to shell out loads of money, I could understand being annoyed (but not because of your friend's living situation).

darleneoconnor Tue 07-Jun-11 14:33:03

Gosh, you're a barrell and a half of laughs aren't you? Does anyone get marrie# before getting a mortgage these days?

Bettyblackeye Tue 07-Jun-11 14:35:20

For fun?

Cocoflower Tue 07-Jun-11 14:41:16

My hen came after mortgage and dc's.

I did because it was fun, a special occassion and (hopefully) my one and only chance.

Do people have to sacrifice things if they got life events in the wrong order then?

Daenerys Wed 08-Jun-11 10:47:21

it's not exactly like you're giving up your freedom even if you haven't got kids or a house - if you're getting married you are in a committed relationship already.

CrapBag Wed 08-Jun-11 10:58:12


A great way for her to let her hair down and have a great night out with her mates. So what if she has children and a mortgage.

I am going on a hen night this weekend. She also has 2 children, but no mortgage. Should she not bother to have a hen night?

glassofwhiteanybody Wed 08-Jun-11 11:37:03

A lot of the old symbolism of weddings is no longer relevant, but if a bride wants to have a hen-night, good luck to her, so long as she doesn't expect everyone to give up annual leave and spend a lot of money with people they don't know

I think it's quite self indulgent when people demand that everyone must go to Paris for a weekend and make you feel guilty if you don't go, although that is a different issue

Laquitar Wed 08-Jun-11 11:51:26

I don't like hen parties very much but i agree with glass that as long as she doesn't put pessure on others and it is not abroad then it is fine.

Are you saying that if you have mortgage you shouldn't celebrate anything or have fun? Then we shouldn't even do birthdays until we are mortgage free.

Icelollycraving Wed 08-Jun-11 12:01:53

Yabu. I would recommend you don't go,the same could be said of their wedding. Very few people get married before getting a mortgage,what business is that of yours?!
Hen nights can be very expensive however,some brides do expect far too much from their friends in terms of time & finances. The best nights don't have to be the most expensive.

TrillianAstra Wed 08-Jun-11 12:03:01

What does mortagae or kids have to do with it?

She wants to have a party with her female friends before her wedding.

Laquitar Wed 08-Jun-11 12:11:19

Ah i though you meant that if you have mortgage you shouldn't spend money blush

I see that you meant the commitment issue. I still think it is just a party and not harm.

porpoisefull Wed 08-Jun-11 12:31:40

YABU. Nowadays hen and stag parties don't have anything to do with 'giving up freedom', as almost everyone lives together before getting married - it's just a party with your friends. If you resent being asked to spend money on it then explain you can't afford to go.

flamegirl77 Thu 09-Jun-11 23:11:18

I had my hen night after my wedding and it wasn't pointless at all.

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