To want to gag my 4 year old...

[bupcakesandcunting]

To stop him saying shit like this to workemen in my house;

"James next door takes his top off in the garden. He's got boobies like a girl. My mummy has got boobies but hers are big and fat and long."

[bupcakesandcunting]

Workemen? Ye Olde Worlde-style workmen.

[DoMeDon]

Arf - sorry

I feel your pain - DSD announced all about my 'big fat bum' in the laydeeze toilet

At least you have big boobs

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

He'll grow out of it. Probably move on to wanting to show people just to illustrate the point. DD certainly did.

[insertfunnynicknamehere]

Oh dear god....Id die, Iwould actually have to move home so no workmen could ever point at my house in the future and say, "there is a lady in there with long fat boobs!!!

[bupcakesandcunting]

I wouldn't mind, but the men were easy on the eye. :(

[katvond]

Can I come and look at them then :)

[aliceliddell]

Big, fat and long? Greedy

[insertfunnynicknamehere]

They are always good looking..

My DS once pointed at a handsome looking lad in a supermarket and shouted "is that my dad??" Everyone was looking at me I was morto...

Another time, and I dont know where this came from, he shouted out in a public toilet, "Hey mam how are your balls??" Died of shame

[pommedechocolat]

I just snorted with laughter insert.

I am also now slightly worried about dd learning to speak...

[PigWhisperer]

Katvond - the men or bupcakes boobs?

[NestaFiesta]

This thread has made me cry with laughter. I too have an embarrassing 4 year old.

"Daddy has made the sofa smell of his bum" etc etc

[Punkatheart]

There is a joke about a little four year old whose mum lets him help the builders working on their house. When they leave the mother comforts the child - telling him that they will be back tomorrow.

'Yes but only if Jewson deliver those fucking bricks on bastard time,' says boy.

[DrSeuss]

DS to a friend of mine who saw him at the park with DH and told him to tell mummy to come round for a coffee sometime-"My mummy doesn't drink coffee, she only drinks wine".

[kickingking]

Mine said to me in a loud sing-song voice, in a public toliet cubicle: "Mummy, I can see your hairy twinkle"

It was a long, long time before we emerged from that cubicle.

[piprabbit]

Was in a very long, quiet queue with 2yo DS, who starts the following conversation:

DS: I have willy
Me: Yes, you do.
DS: Daddy has a willy
Me: Yes, he does
DS: Do you have a willy?
Me: No, I don't.

DS returns to quietly kicking me on the shin...

[Happymm]

That's nothing! DS in reception playground for drop off yesterday morning with hordes of mummies and daddy's around, "oh, Miss, I can't bring any old toilet rolls in for crap craft project, as mummy has used them all to stick up her fou fou so she doesn't wet herself". I thought I'd explained tampax to him a litle better than that. Oh, the shame

[Happymm]

A little better even :)

[WishIWasRimaHorton]

oh yes, little boys and their ways. in the swimming pool changing room, DS said with great delight 'oh good, mummy. you have your boobies on today'.

[Tortoiseonthehalfshell]

My 2.5 year old daughter told me (and the queue waiting for a free cubicle) yesterday that "you have snot on your knickers, mummy".

[insertfunnynicknamehere]

My DS also randomly walked in to pre school one morning and shouted(god he likes to shout) "oh hey fuckers!!!!!" I honest to god do not know where he gets these words from..

[onclefestere]

when I was 8 and my Mum was breastfeeding my sister, i decided that I would BF my teddy. Cue my somewhat portly Grandma asking me what I was doing and me replying "I'm breastfeeding him, Grandma. All ladies have breasts; I expect you have some under all that fat."

[BrainSurgeon]

Worst offence so far by DS (aged 2.8) was to say "Mummy I want to go home now" 30 seconds after we arrived at a play date...
I've got all the best ones to come I'm sure!

[icooksocks]

My ds1 quite proudly shouted out mummy look boobie covers (bras) in Asda this morning. He wasn't quiet and said it several times.

[StayingDavidTennantsGirl]

Don't worry, ladies - the time will come when you will be able to embarrass your darling children far, far more than they are doing now. Just by existing, and speaking to them in public. Or kissing them goodbye at the secondary school gates. Or showing their cute baby pictures to the girls/boys they bring home.

Mwahhhahahaha!!

[happybubblebrain]

My dd says frequently "you don't wipe your bottom when you go to the toilet" in front of friends and strangers, so embarrasing. I do. She also says "your boobies look like mice". She also points to my stomach and calls it a "food baby".