Do you believe in helping your children equally? My parents have very little but have treated us all equally and I intend to do the same for my own children. My inlaws are very different and i struggle to understand why they hold such a traditional approach in this day and age. Is favouring girls still the norm in todays society?
So why do some people provide financial support for daughters weddings and not sons weddings? Buy equipment for daughters first child but not for sons fist child. Give their own children large xmas/birthday presents while they their childrens partners a small token gesture.
I never really gave it much thought but now i have children of my own i just want to make sure they are all OK regardless of sex. They are only tiny now but I can't ever visualise financially favouring one child over another.
AIBU?
favouring girls?
skybluepearl · 06/06/2011 22:09
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Since I have all boys I am quite happy with the wedding traditionally being paid for by the brides parents.
(however I am not expecting that we still have tradition-maybe they can be persuaded to elope!)
bugbear of mine too - sil much more favoured than dh, it narks me more on the practical side than financial (and him too, although quite often he wonders when his sister will become independent!!!!!! but I think so does BIL!), however on the flipside I also see it as a massive compliment to both our financial savvy and child rearing skills. Its that or just being depressed
I think the reasoning behind the 'theres nothing like your daughter's children' is that a woman will turn to her mother for support when she is expecting a child (or I suppose if she is getting married) and so the mother/grandmother will end up closer to her DD's children than her DS's children because his partner will have a mother of her own. Nobody needs 2 mothers, much as I like my MIL.
I get that but I wouldn't expect that my parents would spend more money on my children than on my brothers (were he ever to have any). That doesn't seem fair to me at all. I don't actually think they would either.
But I am lucky. I don't have to worry about all this as I have only boys. 
FWIW, both my parents and DH's parents spend the same on their SIL/DIL as they do on their own children.
MIL is an odd lady anyway but she does seem to have some contradictory views.
She favours her dgd's in general over her dgs's.
However, she does prefer our ds1 and SIL's dd1 because they are blonde and blue-eyed.
She favours the children who have the "family name" i.e her ds's children. I find this infuriating even though my boys fall into this category. When our ds1 was born, she and FIL made a big deal in front of SIL that this was the "first dhsurname grandchild" SIL was understandably very upset. What I don't get is, that obviously MIL married into this surname so I can't see why she is so attached to it, particularly as it's a very common surname.
In their will, they are leaving everything to their dc1 and their dc5 and ignoring their other three dc's. Dh is very upset about this, not because of the money but because of the favouritism.
I am going to strive to be as normal as possible when I have DILs!
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