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To think a friend should not spend half her family savings on bariatric (obesity) surgery

(92 Posts)
pingu2209 Mon 06-Jun-11 19:10:04

My friend is very overweight (as am I) and she has spent the last ten to fifteen years losing and gaining the same 5 stone on a variety of diets. Each time she loses the weight she puts it all back on plus extra. I would now say she is at least 8 stone overweight.

Today she told me that she has decided that she no longer believes she can keep weight off that she loses on a diet so she has booked to have a gastric bypass privately. Apparently her GP surgery were unable to help.

She came to me as a friend and as her friend I don't want to judge her as it is her decision. She said that her BMI was 45 and as she has 2 young children she is concerned for her health. All of that I fully understand, but she is spending half of the family savings paying for it and her husband's job is very insecure.

Am I unreasonable in my concerns? Perhaps I am just green with envy as I will watch her lose weight and still be very overweight myself!

katvond Mon 06-Jun-11 19:12:30

Sounds a bit like jealousy she's having it done you can't afford it.
If she wants it done support her don't be so fucking po faced it's her money

OnlyWantsOne Mon 06-Jun-11 19:12:31

Are you sure there is no jelously?

FabbyChic Mon 06-Jun-11 19:13:24

If she was that concerned about her weight she would do it the right way and keep it off, the way she wants to do it is the lazy way, and she has already proven that she cannot stick to any kind of diet.

FabbyChic Mon 06-Jun-11 19:13:49

After losing 8 stone she will have loads of lose skin, what about the cost of rectyfing how horrifying that will look like.

verytellytubby Mon 06-Jun-11 19:14:00

It's her money. Her business.

Bettyblackeye Mon 06-Jun-11 19:14:04

Yes yabu I think. Surely you friends health is at huge risk if she is at least 8 stone overweight. I think it would be the best money she could ever spend. She has obviously tried and failed in the past. Forget the money aspect, it's not really your business. Just be happy for her smile

ooohyouareawfulbutilikeyou Mon 06-Jun-11 19:14:14

what kat said

mosschops30 Mon 06-Jun-11 19:15:00

What are your concerns exactly?

Fwiw i dont buy into this 'cant keep the weight off'but if she has the money it has nothing to do wirh you how she spends it

Icelollycraving Mon 06-Jun-11 19:15:04

It's her money,her body,her choice.

Flisspaps Mon 06-Jun-11 19:15:16

I think that if spending the family savings means that she might possibly be buying herself YEARS to spend with her children, and an improvement to her health then I think it's definitely the right thing to do.

What's the point in their having the money in the bank if she drops dead from obesity related illness?

squeakytoy Mon 06-Jun-11 19:16:19

Perhaps I am just green with envy as I will watch her lose weight and still be very overweight myself!

Unless there is a medical reason, in which case I apologise, there is no reason for you to be green with envy, because nothing is stopping you from dieting yourself.

katvond Mon 06-Jun-11 19:16:28

I see the green eyed monsters here.
I'd support my friend whatever, that's what friends do.

And fabby some people haven't the willpower to diet sadly that's why they have to resort to this surgery. she's 8 stone overweight FFS she's doing the right thing

Flisspaps Mon 06-Jun-11 19:17:07

And although surgery can bring about drastic results, if she continues to overeat afterwards she will gain any weight she loses. It's not the cure-all magic solution some people think it is, but a serious and dangerous (but often effective) way of HELPING to lose weight.

BluddyMoFo Mon 06-Jun-11 19:17:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FabbyChic Mon 06-Jun-11 19:18:08

Once she has paid to lose the weight, what will she do with the excess skin? can she afford to have surgery after to remove it and make her body look nice?

At least if you lose it naturally you can tone it as you go.

It's all a matter of willpower.

katvond Mon 06-Jun-11 19:18:31

I think the OP hasn't the willpower to diet and deepdown would want this surgery herself. She's afraid her friend will lose all this weight when she won't. Harsh it may seem but I'm being honest.

LeoTheLateBloomer Mon 06-Jun-11 19:19:36

It might be her family savings, but she's doing it for her family.

Better than spending the money on cake.

springbokscantjump Mon 06-Jun-11 19:22:24

Fabby sorry but that's completely wrong. People who have lost a lot of weight through diet and exercise may still have a lot of excess skin. Procedures to remove it are done on the NHS.

katvond Mon 06-Jun-11 19:22:42

Sorry OP but no sympathy here

FabbyChic Mon 06-Jun-11 19:24:30

Sorry but I don't agree the NHS should pay to remove excess skin.

People get fat by over eating, they can afford to over eat then they should be able to afford to get the skin cut off themselves not at the taxpayers expense.

Fat is a by product of eating too much.

I know because I got so fat I couldn't even see my toes, or wipe my arse properly.

Thats what made me lose weight.

LolaRennt Mon 06-Jun-11 19:25:03

FabbyChic what do you mean by "naturally"? Bariatric surgery doesn't change the way you lose weight it just helps you to restrict how much you eat. Like, you know, a diet, so the OP's friend is still able to tone and excercise which hopefully she will do.

OP you are being unreasonable, I think making herself healthy is the best thing she can do for her and her family.

BluddyMoFo Mon 06-Jun-11 19:25:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QOD Mon 06-Jun-11 19:25:16

What mofo, fisspaps , mosschops30 and katvond said

purepurple Mon 06-Jun-11 19:25:25

YABU
It has nothing to do with you how she spends her money.

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