Finding a job, moving cities and DD mid term?

[canuckstepdad]

Hi everyone,

Trying to figure out the logistics around moving from the Midlands to St. Albans - I'm already based in London (and doing a hideous long and expensive commute and/or nights away), but a move would need to be based on my partner finding a suiteable job in the area.

One concern she has about even interviewing is the the risk of having to take a job on say, two months notice, and move our 6 y/o DD out of school mid year. I'm thinking it'd be challenging but if we do a lot of upfront reserach on school catchment areas, housing in our budget to rent, etc, we could rent a house in a good catchment area for a good school (of which there are lots in St. Albans I believe), and after some adjustment, our DD will be making new friends - it'd be tough for her to leave friends she's had, in some cases since nursery, not to mention tough for my partner, but the fact that I could be around a lot more to help and provide support for both of them would help mitigate those challenges (my DD is super attached to me too and hates me being away). I'm thinking there'd be some short term pain, but things would be better in the long term.

My partner's favoured alternative is waiting to move somewhere around London in 4+ years before our DD starts secondary school, but I think it'll be harder on her then (and for that matter, my partner) - especially since we're planning on having a baby in around 2 years.

Anyone have any thoughts on this? AIBU? By the way, any specific views on how to get into a good school mid-school year (especially around St. Albans) would be hugely appreciated!

Cheers

[exoticfruits]

Much harder later on. Go for it now- at 6yrs her family are all important and friendships are fairly changeable. After about 8yrs friendships are more important and more entrenched. Just before the start of secondary is quite good in that there is a huge mix up but the younger the better IMO. (speaking as someone who did it at 6 yrs and liked the new school more).

Get clued up about schools in St Alban's, visit and ask the questions.

[JoySzasz]

Good luck ...I know the feelings .

I am about to do it with my 12,7 and 2 year old,from the US!

When we came this way,my DS was 7- he was totally fine:)

I am having so many moments of worry at the moment,I really sympathize.

I try to remind myself that it has worked once,it will do again

[Scholes34]

Now would be better. My DS is in Year 5 and I can't remember which of his friends started in reception with him and which have joined since. Only now in Year 5 are friendships really settling (it was the same for my other to DCs). It could all just get a bit too complicated trying to find a house in an area with a good secondary school near London in a few years' time.

[MumblingRagDoll]

I don't think moving at 10 or 11 willbe harder. These days, many their riends will go to different secondary's anyway....people are keener on league tables etc than they used t be and some go private or to grammars.

They all have a big shift at that age.

Either way your DD will be fine though

[MumblingRagDoll]

As another poste said...better to time it right before secondary begins.

[exoticfruits]

Either is fine. Secondary is a mix up anyway, 6yrs is young enough to fit in fine. If either is fine-why commute for another 4 yrs?

[FabbyChic]

Whilst needs probably means you must, moving a child mid term is plain selfish and mean.

[exoticfruits]

At 6yrs mid term isn't a problem. In many ways it is better, everyone is settled and have time to welcome someone new.After the summer holiday everyone is catching up with old friends. I moved my 8yr old in mid year, he went to his old school on Friday, new one on Monday, with no time to worry and it was fine.

[IntergalacticHussy]

do it sooner, it's what we're doing at the moment for the same reasons. i moved schools at 10 and it was bloody horrible. but then again i'm shy and retiring. or i was then anyway!

[hairylights]

Harder later on. Much harder to start a secondary school not knowing anyone (I speak from experience) Do it now if youre going to.