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to want to show my ex up for the low life sponger he really is?

(14 Posts)
juicychops Mon 06-Jun-11 15:06:32

he hasn't seen ds for ever 5 years since ds just turned 1. He also has another ds who is about 3 who he sees sometimes.

The last 'proper' job he had was 5 years ago as a security guard which he was sacked from for steeling and pissing in people's drinks without them knowing.

Since then he has claimed incapacity benefit for a bad back whilst also doing odd jobs on the side for cash in hand. one of which was a labouring job for his uncle's building company

His aunt - my ds's great aunt, who has a lot of regular contact with my ds has told me that he turned up at hers the other day. (she lives with her dad - ex's grandad who is very ill at the moment). the aunt asked if he could do some gardening for them and he said no cos his back. She offered him £10 and he did it, taking the money.

one afternoon last week the aunt asked if he could go round to hers for an hour to sit with his grandad as he'd been on his own for a large part of the day and she got held up at work. He said no.

a few days later kindly offered to sit with his grandad for a few hours per day - if she paid him £10 per time!!!

When he was round there doing the garden, his grandad fell over and ex scooped him up off the ground and carried him to his bed - clearly proving he is not incapacitated.

im not denying he may have some medical thing wrong with his back. But do people like this just get to go the rest of there lives without having to work just cos he's exaggerated to the doc a bit/ its already been 5 years of free money. he can clearly do SOME kind of job if he can do gardening, labouring and carrying heavy loads for a price, so how many years is this going to go on for?

Its a complete slap in the face every time i hear about him doing something he 'shouldn't' be able to do. He owes me £1000s in csa arrears from when he did work, and out of his benefit money ds gets £3.36 per week. whats the fucking point??? it doesn't even cover 2 days of school dinner money. Yet i have full childcare to provide, a part time job, and im studying. he cant even go and sit on a chair next to his grandad for a couple of hours whithout expecting £10 for the trouble.

fucking tosser. and the system is a joke because of all the millions of tossers like him who are allowed to get away with it.

Icelollycraving Mon 06-Jun-11 15:11:56

Karma,he will get his without you getting involved believe me!
Of course yanbu but perhaps tell his relative you have no desire to hear just what a crap individual your sperm donor was & is.

juicychops Mon 06-Jun-11 18:34:39

hope so. its just so frustrating!!

MotherSnacker Mon 06-Jun-11 18:46:46

The system is not a joke it gives disabled people the financial help they need and deserve. Some will abuse it but I'm glad we have this system and not the old workhouses. Stop fucking benefit bashing just because your x is a scumbag.

mosschops30 Mon 06-Jun-11 18:50:45

Op isnt benefit bashing, shes stating a fact that the system doesnt work and is abused by tossers who see it as a career choice.
Nothing wrong with claiming benefits if you need them and cannot work through genuine disability/being a carer etc etc..

Why dont you shop the lazy twat op?

SkipToTheEnd Mon 06-Jun-11 18:54:58

It is so annoying I agree.

My Ex has told his church the family are hard up because he is supporting his son.... How I'd love to tell them that he pays £6 a week. DS eats more then that in fruit each week! I'd also love them to know that the 'poor fallen soul' they rescued had the amount reduced from £7 when his latest child came along.

The only consolation to you should be that your DC will know what you've done over the years and love you for it. He may get to keep his cash but he's missing out on something much more important.

needanewname Mon 06-Jun-11 18:56:04

But surely the system is a joke if a man like this can get away with it. I don;t what the solution is, or even if there is a solution. No one is saying that there shouldn't be a benefit system aand we should go back to the workhouses.

I have had to claim JSA before now and was really pleased it was there when I needed it but I too hate the way that some (note I said some, not all) people abuse the system.

katvond Mon 06-Jun-11 18:58:32

Shop the lazy bastard if you don't want to give me his name and I'll happily grass the sponger up.

juicychops Mon 06-Jun-11 19:03:58

mothersnacker, im not saying the benefit isn't needed, and isn't a good thing for a lot of people.

but the joke is how they assess people's claims and how people like my ex manage to get the same full benefit as someone who seriously cant work.

juicychops Mon 06-Jun-11 19:05:29

i did the benefit fraud online thing this morning

made me feel a bit better, but i did it a year ago and nothing ever happened

ooohyouareawfulbutilikeyou Mon 06-Jun-11 19:07:05

shop him, i wouldnt hesitate

FabbyChic Mon 06-Jun-11 19:10:44

Never have a child and expect the father to pay, always expect to support the child yourself.

I brought up two alone working full time, paying child care.

I couldn't give a toss for his father, who didn't pay up until the endest was 14. Not regularly either, but my opinion was they are my children I shall pay for them.

If you don't rely on someone else you cannot feel aggrieved when you get fuck all.

If you are that bothered about his so called back, tell the DWP he has no bad back and works for cash in hand. They will watch him and catch him

needanewname Tue 07-Jun-11 11:18:59

'Never have a child and expect the father to pay, always expect to support the child yourself.'

Sorry I disagree Fabby, but maybe thats because I'm lucky and didn't get pregnant when with a wanker!

nijinsky Tue 07-Jun-11 12:53:20

I reported someone last week who claims to have the eponymous back pain/nerve damage but is a full-time athlete! It asks you to fill in a form (you can choose to be anonymous) and provide various information about their appearance, the vehicle they drive etc so they can investigate their activities.

It sometimes takes a while and more than one report for them to take action. But I know they have started to catch up with this one!

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