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To be really p***ed off that this is held over my head every time we argue??

(60 Posts)
ViVee Mon 06-Jun-11 12:29:33

(name changed)

Apparantly, according to 'D'H on our wedding night 3 years ago I said:

'I want a divorce'

DH's hearing isn't the best, I was a very wee bit drunk - doesn't happen often, but I had just got married - which I have explained to him.

It's much more likely that I said:

'I want to buy a horse' (which I do)

Anyway, everytime we argue he throws it at me, he accuses me of arguing because I want a divorce. I have explained I can't remember saying it (if I did) & have apologised. But am now getting really p'ed off with it.

Would appreciate witty comebacks please. I did have one - relating to what he had said once, but he got completely ott angry.

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns Mon 06-Jun-11 12:34:14

Tbh I'd ignore, I have a similar issue with dp and no answer, retaliation helps, now I give the same approach I do the dcs, carry on as if it wasn't said, rise above!

WriterofDreams Mon 06-Jun-11 12:35:53

Your DH sounds like a bit of an odd fish ViVee. Why is he harping on about something so silly? And what do you mean by "ott angry"? Does he get aggressive?

worraliberty Mon 06-Jun-11 12:36:18

Leave the Bastard! That'll prove him wrong.

Oh no, wait...... confused

MmeLindor. Mon 06-Jun-11 12:36:42

I don't have a witty comeback cause I find that really strange behaviour and would be gobsmacked if someone did that to me.

I guess ignoring is the best way to deal with it.

What was it you said that made him angry?

ZombiePlan Mon 06-Jun-11 12:37:25

Does he do this all the time when you argue, or only when he's losing the argument? Sounds like he's deliberately deflecting attention away from the actual issue onto your behaviour. Bit juvenile and would piss me off too. Just tell him that, no, you didn't and don't want a divorce (and are fed up of being accused of the same) but you do want to sort out [whatever issue it is that you're arguing about].

Reality Mon 06-Jun-11 12:38:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Glitterknickaz Mon 06-Jun-11 12:39:59

Ask him if he needs a psychiatrist along with an audiologist?

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Mon 06-Jun-11 12:40:24

I don't think I'd bother about witty comebacks, just develop a stock line; "that is not the issue at hand. I'm still angry about Actual Thing We're Arguing About". And carry on from there.

It sounds like an utter dick move on his part, and calculated to divert you from the actual conversation. Do your arguments have a theme? I mean, is there one or two issues that get brought up a lot, or does he do this every time there's a tiny squabble?

senua Mon 06-Jun-11 12:50:51

Throw it back at him. Does he bring up this non issue because he wants a divorce? And if he says, "that's not what I said/meant" then you say "now you know how I feel. Shall we drop it; it's getting tedious. BTW, IF I had thought that THREE YEARS AGO, don't you think I might have done it by now?"confused

ViVee Mon 06-Jun-11 12:51:13

The ott angry thing was re something he had said during sex - he referred to me as being a ... boy shock. My hearing is perfectly ok.

So I said everyime he behaves in an effeminate way, should I assume that he is gay??? I wasn't being serious, just trying to prove a point. Cue accusations of me being unhinged.

ObiWan Mon 06-Jun-11 12:57:24

Oh God, I can't decide whether you're serious or not. How on earth do you keep a straight face during arguments?!

'I want a horse/I want a divorce', audiologists, homoerotic fantasies...I'd be falling about at the metal images every time he got cross and I knew what was coming grin

Not helpiing much though, am I blush.

WriterofDreams Mon 06-Jun-11 12:57:52

He was angry during sex and called you names?? Is this normal for your relationship?

senua Mon 06-Jun-11 12:57:57

Also, challenge his logic that all arguments lead to divorce. [confused again]

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Mon 06-Jun-11 13:09:25

He doesn't sound like the nicest man in the world, OP, is this just a tiny quirk in an otherwise lovely guy?

ViVee Mon 06-Jun-11 13:12:24

Not a tiny quirk.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Mon 06-Jun-11 13:15:39

Do you want to talk about the rest of it?

MmeLindor. Mon 06-Jun-11 13:17:55

He sounds a bit odd, if you don't mind me saying so.

How is your relationship otherwise?

olderyetwider Mon 06-Jun-11 13:19:24

Get your horse VIVee. smile

aliceliddell Mon 06-Jun-11 13:21:18

next time he says it start neighing and galloping about.

Jogonjill Mon 06-Jun-11 13:22:54

Dump him and buy a much-longed-for horse, he can find himself a much-longed-for male lover, everyone's a winner. And he can feel smug that he was right all along.

ViVee Mon 06-Jun-11 13:35:59

I only brought up the 'boy' thing to show how silly the whole thing was. Didn't realise he would take it so seriously, he even phoned my mum , who he doesn't get on with to tell her that I'd accused him of being a homosexual!!!

ViVee Mon 06-Jun-11 13:40:17

And now my mum is a bit hmm, 'Told you so, I always thought he was a bit camp'

(I don't look like a boy BTW)

glassofwhiteanybody Mon 06-Jun-11 13:42:24

He called you a boy during sex - that sounds a bit weird. . . .

Don't be distracted by the "I want a divorce" comment. Just keep it in the moment.

PrinceHumperdink Mon 06-Jun-11 13:42:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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