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to be fed up with working with idiots? Homophobic tendencies.

(42 Posts)
nightowlmostly Sun 05-Jun-11 23:24:28

I am just so sick of the stupid comments I keep hearing in my staffroom, things like when eastenders was on today, and the gay couple were on screen.

It's so juvenile, people saying, "oh well, this is really inappropriate for a sunday, it's too confusing for kids". It pisses me off, because surely kids will just accept things like that without too much fuss, you just have to say that sometimes people are in relationships with the opposite sex and sometimes with the same sex.

I would have thought that it would be more confusing for a child who is realising that they may be gay not to have any gay relationships portrayed on mainstream tv. If it is on telly, surely it will normalise the idea in society in general?

There is a lot of people saying "yuk, ewww!" when they kiss as well, and it really bugs me because I feel it is so juvenile. Do most people feel this way or do I work with a bunch of morons, which is the conclusion I'm rapidly coming to?

I just thought we'd moved past this silliness and were grown up now, I hope this isn't reflective of society at large! I probably haven't put this very well, but I'd really like to know if people everywhere are like this!

StealthPolarBear Sun 05-Jun-11 23:27:26


worraliberty Sun 05-Jun-11 23:28:28


Kids learn to accept and understand these things quicker than a lot of adults.

Two of my cousins are gay and my boys don't bat an eyelid because they've always known since they were old enough to talk to.

The "yuk, ewww!" when they kiss, I can understand though because I can't watch same sex people kissing without feeling sick.

Having said that, I generally don't want to watch any couple kissing...but can just about bear it if they are the same sex.

Tambern Sun 05-Jun-11 23:29:51

I'm afraid 'bunch of morons' is the right answer. Saying things like there shouldn't be gay people on tv, is the same approach as Nick Griffins idea of they shouldn't be allowed to kiss, hold hands etc in public.

Ask them if it makes them feel tight in the pants area.

Punkatheart Sun 05-Jun-11 23:31:22

Thank God my daughter's generation will grow up being tolerant and oddly, more mature than some silly adults.

Very liberal household, ours. There are worse things in life to be offended by.....

A1980 Sun 05-Jun-11 23:32:23

YANBU I thought we'd got over it too. I don't bat an eyelid.


Then again it can work in reverse too. There is the infamous Christmas card incident at work a few years ago at my old job. I bought a few of my colleagues Xmas cards as they had bought me cards. I bought a charity pack with multiple charities represented in the pack: everything from Unicef to Macmillan Cancer Care, etc. I chose the cards for colleagues based on the card I thought they would like the most. A colleague who is gay inexplicably got the hump with me after this. I couldn't find out why but he wasn't as friendly for a while. He was very blatant about his sexuality and I didn't find it at all offensive, in fact we were good friends. I found out from another colleague that he was pissed that the card I gave him was for an Aids charity and thought I was trying to tell him something...... hmm. I hadn't a clue what was on the back of it, they were all different.

That was just a case of him being way too touchy.

WhereYouLeftIt Sun 05-Jun-11 23:43:01

"oh well, this is really inappropriate for a sunday, it's too confusing for kids"

So what do they make of Captain Jack Harkness of Doctor Who (a children's programme) and Torchwood? I was so grateful for that TV character, a dashing, all action, not camp in the slightest all round heroic type. And on TV the same week as Homer was trying to teach Bart to be homophobic in The Simpsons.

As has already been said, surely it's more confusing if there are no gay characters on TV?

TakeMeDrunkImHome Sun 05-Jun-11 23:44:16

<was going to post something intelligent but has fainted at mention of Captain Jack>

redflagsahoy Sun 05-Jun-11 23:47:43

YANBU and I agree, homophobia is the worst, no matter how 'innocent' it is made out to be

nightowlmostly Sun 05-Jun-11 23:54:57

Thanks people, I was a bit worried I'd get some loons telling me I was the wierd one! It's just hard feeing like the minority all the time at work. It's male and female people too.

I feel surrounded by daily fail and sun reading right-wingers who hate protesters and immigrants, it's depressing but I cant argue every time someone says something I find offensive, I need a quiet life at work!

BitOfFun Mon 06-Jun-11 00:02:12

I don't watch EastEnders, but caught a clip at my parents' today, of two blokes fighting, then a kiss. If that's what you are talking about, I do find it uncomfortable viewing, because of the association of violence with passion. Nothing to do with the gay aspect though.

Bearskinwoolies Mon 06-Jun-11 01:18:21

Ya-def-nbu - I work alongside some unreconstructed cavemen (according to their conversations) and I get to hear some 'lovely' comments sad

5DollarShake Mon 06-Jun-11 03:05:03


Anyone who says it's 'really inappropriate', etc, etc, is clearly way too pre-occupied with sex and with what gay people do in the bedroom, so really, it reveals a lot about what's going on in their little minds.

There is nothing inappropriate about straight coupledom, is there? No, because you don't focus on the sex part. So why do homophobe-types have to tune in on the sex part when it comes to gay couples? confused Honestly, it says way more about the way their minds are trained than anything else at all - it's quite pathetic, really.

There is nothing inappropriate about people loving each other. smile

iscream Mon 06-Jun-11 04:43:48


creamola Mon 06-Jun-11 05:33:32

most men who get uncomfortable are worried they might be turned by man on man

KaraStarbuckThrace Mon 06-Jun-11 05:58:15

YANBU - surely seeing more gay couples in mainstream media, helps to normalise it even more?

I don't want DS growing up thinking that a m/m or f/f relationship is weird or abnormal, I want him to seeing a loving relationship no different to mine and DH's.

What annoys me is "oh you shouldn't let him wear pink/play with dolls/etc., or it will turn him gay" angry
1) No it won't homosexuality is something inherent in you.
2) So what if it does???

IDontThinkSoDoYOU Mon 06-Jun-11 07:04:45

When you say "staffroom" do you mean in a school OP?

lesley33 Mon 06-Jun-11 08:25:51

YANBU. But unfortunately I think there are a lot of people who think like your colleagues. We tend to surround ourselves with friends with similar values, so if we aren't homophobic then we tend to choose friends who also aren't homophobic. I think its easy then to think most people think like our friends. But it aint necessarily so.

lubberlich Mon 06-Jun-11 08:37:00

The really ugly violent face of homophobia is thankfully quite rare - but this subtle insidious socially acceptable face of homphobia is what really riles me. Anyone who allows their child to use the term 'gay' as a form of abuse is a twat of the first order. Anyone who thinks it is ok to make "oh don't bend over in the shower" jokes around gay men is also a twat.

OP - change jobs - being around nobheads like that can seriously damage your health and well being. Our only hope is that idiots like this will only ever breed with each other and eventually natural selection will make them obsolete.

Chummybud1 Mon 06-Jun-11 08:39:05

I am not homophobic and have gay relatives and friends. But I do understand why people say these comments, seeing gay men kissing on tv is relatively new and like kids, a lot of adults need time to adjust to it. At least it is on telly and at least people are aware of it, which is far better than it was even a few years ago. My gay friends would not be offended if they heard understanding as they themselves know that things for them are easier and are becoming easier. Admittedly it should never have been hidden or frowned on in the first place but it was for a long time. The idiots in your office just need time to adjust, I also feel that soaps need to deal with the gay topic better, I feel that in EE it is over done, it does not come across as being natural, the kisses and touching are over emphasised, whereas they should be like every other couple so kids grow up with the normality of it.

Hullygully Mon 06-Jun-11 08:41:09

I do think that gayness is a bit challenging for most normal people. They might want to feel ok about it, but they don't want it in their faces as it makes them worried about their lil bubbas.

YouMakeMeWannaLaLa Mon 06-Jun-11 08:45:50

YANBU I lose all respect for people when they come out with narrow minded comments like that.

I look after an elderly lady in her own home and her husband is as sexist, racist and homophobic as they come all wrapped up in "banter" and "jokes". Its makes me sick but there's nothing I can do about it as it's his own home. I never react or laugh at his jokes but I still hate myself for not slapping him round the mush with a wet kipper!

lubberlich Mon 06-Jun-11 08:50:55

they don't want it in their faces as it makes them worried about their lil bubbas


And what if their "lil bubbas" are gay and would like to see positive images of homosexuality?

Hullygully Mon 06-Jun-11 08:53:24

Yes, but they don't want them to start thinking about something that wouldn't otherwise cross their minds, do they?

YouMakeMeWannaLaLa Mon 06-Jun-11 08:57:27

Wouldn't really want heteo sex in 'lil bubbas' faces either!

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