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My bum is itchy

(52 Posts)
LandofMilfsandHunnis Sun 05-Jun-11 22:46:36

shall i scratch it?

I'll wash my hands after.

Probably.

glitterkitty Sun 05-Jun-11 22:47:31

Derrr

worraliberty Sun 05-Jun-11 22:48:20

I read that as 'My mum is bitchy'

(seriously needs to put the wine glass down)

bbird1 Sun 05-Jun-11 22:48:49

you got bumcheese?

shakey1500 Sun 05-Jun-11 22:48:52

Yes, knock yourself out.

tethersend Sun 05-Jun-11 22:49:01

People like you make me sick.

chicletteeth Sun 05-Jun-11 22:49:39

Threadworm?
In which case, try not to scratch, go to your doctors and get ready for some serious deep cleansing of your house.

Either that, or brush up on your personal hygiene to prevent it from itching to begin with

LandofMilfsandHunnis Sun 05-Jun-11 22:52:43

What if i just roll Pick Me Up up and slide it up and down my crack?

cornsilks Sun 05-Jun-11 22:54:44

I've seen dogs drag their itchy butts across the floor. Is that too good for you Op? Is it?

chicletteeth Sun 05-Jun-11 22:55:38

Oh my god.
This just keeps getting better

Have a bath you dirty fucker; use some soap!

And don't leave magazines with traces of shit stains lying around either

bbird1 Sun 05-Jun-11 22:57:50

go easy on yer ringer Landof or you will be 'nipping' all day tomorrow.

FantasticDay Sun 05-Jun-11 23:01:15

Almost certainly threadworms. Get some stuff from the chemist. It's one dose for all the family and tastes of bananas - quite.nice really. Try not to scratch though - you'll get them under your nails and reinvest yourself.

SindyTellsMe Sun 05-Jun-11 23:02:19

YABU

You should park in parent & toddler first. Then scratch it.

BornInAfrica Sun 05-Jun-11 23:02:47

If I reinvest myself will I get a better interest rate?

LandofMilfsandHunnis Sun 05-Jun-11 23:05:19

U r all so mean sad

posterofagirl Sun 05-Jun-11 23:09:17

Have you tried an anal floss with a good rough towel? Or bumsex?

frownieface Sun 05-Jun-11 23:09:57

In the name of one-upmanship, I have an ingrown hair on my bikini line my knickers are rubbing it something rotten sad hurts too much to pick, i have tried, dp has tried, nothing is budging this stupid ingrown hair sad may have to go to doctors sad

FellatioNelson Sun 05-Jun-11 23:10:44

It might not be threadworms. I've had an itchy bum for ages and I have scrutinised my faeces thoroughly on several occasions and there is no trace of wormery in my arse.

cornsilks Sun 05-Jun-11 23:11:14

are piles itchy?

SindyTellsMe Sun 05-Jun-11 23:12:01

frownieface put some magnesium sulphate cream on it and stop whinging

FellatioNelson Sun 05-Jun-11 23:12:31

Ooh yes rough towel. Nice.

Or a nice scratchy exfoliating sponge. It's entirely the wrong approach of course, but it feels so right.

SindyTellsMe Sun 05-Jun-11 23:12:57

OP Have you tried sitting on a hairbrush?

GreenEyesandHam Sun 05-Jun-11 23:16:37

I had threadworms as a child and I'm terrified in case my children ever get them. In case they pass them on to me. blush

I'm ashamed to say it's not entirely the thought of parasitic worms in bum that horrifies me- it does, but far worse is the memory of the medicine I had to drink to get rid. Pripsen I think it was called, in raspberry flavour. I still can't eat or drink anything raspberry to this day.

OP do you have an old toothbrush?

PigletJohn Sun 05-Jun-11 23:17:34

Does DP have a stubbly chin?

SindyTellsMe Sun 05-Jun-11 23:19:18

Good point PigletJohn

Or indeed does DP have a bristly bum? You could rub them together

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