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to assume it's not ok to shout at your 13 year old for 20 minutes after a bike race about his performance?

(12 Posts)
nevergoogle Sun 05-Jun-11 21:06:50

Today i was at a bike race, and at the end of the under 14s race i witnessed a man shout, rant, and rave, gesticulating wildly at this lad. (in a foreign language so didn't catch the actual complaint).
It went on, and on, and on.
Poor lad was just sat on his bike saying nothing and staring at his wheel.

AIBU to think the actual response is, well done lad, pop in the car and get warmed up and i'll get you something to eat???

But maybe i'm missing something. Is this how you get top performance sportsmen and women?

I kept an eye, but didn't intervene. The man looked absolutely livid.

I'd have liked to see the fat fucker do better?

Flame away!

saffy85 Sun 05-Jun-11 21:12:47

YANBU if you're sure the dad was having a rant at the kid's performance that's really out of order. But... as the man was ranting like a loon in a foreign language, what if he wasn't ranting at him about how he had ridden, what if he was having a go at his son because the boy had done something incredibly bad/dangerous?

Salmotrutta Sun 05-Jun-11 21:15:38

Not nice to witness - poor lad sad

Was it his dad or a coach? - not that it makes a difference but it would be even worse if it was his Dad IYSWIM?

Reminds me of that documentary years ago that followed Olga Korbut's gymnastic training - the coach was really severe!! (or maybe it was Nadia Komaneci confused Bet those spellings are wrong!!

I can't think excessive ranting helps really - fair enough be a wee bit stern/firm if you think someone is being lazy or not practicing but what if they don't really want to be doing the sport/activity?

Salmotrutta Sun 05-Jun-11 21:16:44

Oh - good point saffy - maybe the lad had endangered himself or others?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude Sun 05-Jun-11 21:16:48

If he was ranting then that is unreasonable. However, as it was a foreign language its sometimes not as clear as you might think. I have been shocked at the tone my husband was using to speak to his elderly aunt in his native language, gesticulating etc but his aunt was fine with it and they both ended up laughing - I'd assumed they were having a row but it was just an everyday chat.

nevergoogle Sun 05-Jun-11 21:17:27

ooh, hadn't thought of that. there was no complaints of anyone cheating, or riding dangerously though.

nevergoogle Sun 05-Jun-11 21:20:46

no idea if it was father or coach. no other riders with them.

nevergoogle Sun 05-Jun-11 21:22:54

the guy walked away from the kid on the bike in the end, like, He'd had enough of him, but he followed him to their car.

DoMeDon Sun 05-Jun-11 21:24:41

YAB a bit U as you don't know what was said. Having said that there isn't much that deserves out and out ranting. I do think Brits are a bit easy on DC though (as a sweeping generalisation - just cos I know they go down so well on MN).

nevergoogle Sun 05-Jun-11 21:25:59

Chazs, i know what you mean about the language/convo differences but really the conversation was entirely one way. That can't be right surely.

nevergoogle Sun 05-Jun-11 21:27:53

i've never had a 13 year old, so i'm looking for a heads up here whether this is what to expect. if there's ranting to be done, it'll be me that does it! but surely this doesn't actually help the lad?

UniS Sun 05-Jun-11 21:37:33

kinda depends on just how committed the 13 yr old is.
U14 bike races ARE hugely competitive and tactical. If parents/ coaches have moved mountains to get a kid to a race, spent a lot of money on the kit and kid is not even trying or is making elementary mistakes after years of races... yep, kid can expect a bit of shouting I expect.
That said I saw no shouting after the race my lad rode in last weekend. but it was clear that for many families bike racing is a massive commitment in time and money.

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