To say something to my friend? (long)(2 Posts)
(I have posted this in relationships but could do with all the opinions I can get so thought I'd post here too)
I have been friends with V since first year at secondary school and we are now 29. We are very close and I tell her everything. We are very different but our friendship has always been good. We have totally different social life I guess I'm boring but kinda like it that way where as she's more if a going out kinda girl.
About 18 months ago she split from her hubby they have two young children, the split was the right thing to do it was a hostile environment for the kids and turned sour pretty quick.
Since the split my friend has every Saturday night off from kids, as their dad has them. And no exaggeration she has slept with a new man every week, she was like this when we were at college. Although was never unfaithful in the 7 years of her marriage.
At first she was loving her single life but now she seems sad and low a lot of the time. I have told her I think the reason she feels low is because she is sleeping with these men. Not one of these men has gone on to be a new relationship with her. Which is what she says wants (not sure of the relevance but feel it's important to point out, her XH has a new girlfriend and although V doesnt want him back i know she finds this hard, especially as her children talk about her a lot).
By no means do I judge her but I do worry for her psychological state I feel it runs deeper than getting a new shag every Saturday night I think she is searching to be loved or fill some sort of emptiness but I find it hard to explain it to her without seeming sorta mummsy like and judgmental especially coming from me who has only ever slept with one man(sorry if tmi). I think she might think I look down on her which I do not at all.
I have just finishing talking to her. Last night she went out with her best friend they went into town and she got steaming drunk (this is the norm for her to do on a sat night). And she ending up fighting physically with her friend she cannot remember why and is devastated that her friend won't speak to her now. I am just at a loss as to what to say to her tbh, I feel for her and no she isnt enjoying this lifestyle.
I feel she is on a destructive path and don't know what my role should be should I just sit back and be there for her if or when it goes wrong?? Or should I try to intervene and risk our friendship?
Sorry for the marathon post, this has been going on so long I just don't know what to do or if I should do anything at all? Thanks if anyone has actually made it to the end of my waffle.
Would live advice.....
I don't think there is much you can do, but just be there for support. She is obviously looking for something, but not getting it through one-night stands. You can try to keep talking to her, but she will have to come the realisation, on her own, that what she is doing is not good for her. Just be there for her, for now.
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