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to want my dd to have decent female role models.

(38 Posts)
justGetEmOut Sun 05-Jun-11 09:03:49

I want my dd to be inspired by amazing women. I do NOT want her to imagine that a woman's greatest achievement is to marry a footballer and then get cheated on, or for her greatest ambition to be to have nice hair or to be a fecking Disney princess.

My ds's want to be like Brian Cox, or David Attenborough...AIBU to want by daughter to have a female equivalent to admire? (At the moment she only has Amy Pond, and she's a flipping SIDEKICK...and a fictional one at that.)

How do we show our dd's that a woman can be valued in society for something other than how she looks?confused

justGetEmOut Sun 05-Jun-11 09:04:58

*my, not by! (I'd quite like her to be able to spell too.)

MoonGirl1981 Sun 05-Jun-11 09:08:43

Sarah Beeny?

bupcakesandcunting Sun 05-Jun-11 09:10:41

YANBU, but we mums of DS's have the same worries! I worry that mine will think that Wayne bleeding Rooney is someone to aspire to be like, although I will do my utmost to convince him otherwise.

Talk to her about the achievements of Ellen MacArthur/Martha Lane-Fox/Gareth Peirce...

aldiwhore Sun 05-Jun-11 09:10:45

Google inspirational women and take your pick! I try to avoid anyone in the media/entertainment business (I have boys) because they'll find them all on their own. I don't mind them LIKING lame boy schlebs, because if I prohibit or slag their 'idols' off it will only make them love them more.

We do have lots of conversations about various men and women who've left a pretty impressive stamp on the world. All you can do is enthuse about the women YOU think you'd like your children to be inspired by, and allow them to have their own taste in those women you don't.

I have never encouraged my kids to like Justin Bieber or Peter Andre... because I can't bear either of them, yet my kids love them (ARGH!). They ALSO love Prof Cox, Attenborough, etc., my eldest admires and is interested in Martin Luther King, Ghandi, the sufforagettes etc., because we talk about them. Its a good balance.

My mother HATED Madonna, but when I was young I adored her, for all the wrong reasons, and I haven't become everything my mother feared because I had access to other people and thereofore allowed balance.

Dozer Sun 05-Jun-11 09:15:40

You are their most important role model. Also friends/family etc.

Takeresponsibility Sun 05-Jun-11 09:23:41

A girls best role model is her Mother, you need to introduce her to a world seen through the eyes of the broadsheets not Hello magazine. See here for inspiration

HappyMummyOfOne Sun 05-Jun-11 10:19:02

I agree that parents are the most important role models. If your daughter sees that you are happy, have a good job/career etc then she's likely to go on to copy that.

There are lots of good famous people out there too, Sandra Bullock juggles work and motherhood well, doesnt appear to do the diva thing and gives great amounts to charity so not all celebs are bad.

bbird1 Sun 05-Jun-11 10:27:36

The choice of what constitutes a decent role model is subjective. You are just trying to to stamp your own view of the world on your kids. Not very fair really.

lynehamrose Sun 05-Jun-11 11:03:18

Agree with the others that its the real women in her life who count. Are you happy/fulfilled/ educated/skilled/interested in life? If so, you will be communicating that to her in how you live your life.

The women who are most at risk of raising a daughter with the sort of values you despair of, would be the trophy wife types who don't achieve anything in their own right and live their life second hand through their husband and children. That doesn't sound like you at all.
You need to have faith that its the real people in your dds life who matter most.

SoupDragon Sun 05-Jun-11 11:05:39

You need to teach your DD that there is no reason she can't be like those men and that they are successful because of what they do not what sex they are.

teraspawn Sun 05-Jun-11 11:39:05

Some recommendations: Florence Nightingale (she invented pie charts!), Rosalind Franklin (instrumental in discovery of the structure of DNA), Ada Lovelace (the first ever programmer) and there ain't nothing wrong with Amy Pond! River Song is really awesome too. Actually Doctor Who in general is good for strong female characters. I also loved Jo in Little Women. And all the characters in Firefly.

teraspawn Sun 05-Jun-11 11:40:59

Also Vi Hart is a REALLY fun, cool, recreational mathematician with a really interesting website. I want to be like her when I grow up...

ByTheSea Sun 05-Jun-11 11:42:13

My DD-9 thinks Bethany Hughes is really cool. She does history documentaries.

sue52 Sun 05-Jun-11 11:52:12

My DD finds Mary Beard inspiring.

exoticfruits Sun 05-Jun-11 11:55:48

I think that you are the main role model as parent-but it needs to be what you do and not what you say.

LemoryMane Sun 05-Jun-11 12:00:42

I like Bethany Hughes loads, too. Don't rely too heavily on TV, though. Female TV presenters aren't generally hired for their brains or expertise, sadly.

I talk to my kids about female writers, scientists, thinkers, politicians, artists.

Maggie Aderin-Pocock is a fairly recent 'find'. Google her. She's a black British woman from a working class London background who is now an eminent space scientist. She is pretty fabulous.

cory Sun 05-Jun-11 14:05:02

Echoes: by being one. I think most children are aware that the sleb world is a kind of fantasy world- and one that will seem less relevant to them the more they feel that the real adults in their world are interesting and fulfilled people. Which is why we should all get off Mumsnet and change the world!

in a minute...

hogsback Sun 05-Jun-11 14:17:08

If she admires TV academics/scientists/informative types like Brian Cox and David Attenborough, then I'm sure she would like Alice Roberts, Liz Bonnin, Bettany Hughes, Francesca Stavrakopolou, Mary Beard and Maggie Pocock-Aderin for starters.

chicletteeth Sun 05-Jun-11 14:57:05

There are loads of people she can aspire to be like, you just need to make sure she's aware of them.

My eldest boy wants to be Marie Curie grin

chicletteeth Sun 05-Jun-11 14:58:23

Anyway why do you want her to look up to women only?
Why can't she be David Attenborough or Brian Cox (the latter being known to us scientists as a 'media whore', but anyway......)

StewieGriffinsMom Sun 05-Jun-11 15:03:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrinceHumperdink Sun 05-Jun-11 15:05:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StewieGriffinsMom Sun 05-Jun-11 15:10:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CaveMum Sun 05-Jun-11 15:11:35

When she's a bit older sit her down in front of a West Wing DVD. All the women portrayed are strong, intelligent and successful.

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