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to go away for 4 days leaving dh in charge (he is self employed)

(16 Posts)
Fernie3 Sun 05-Jun-11 08:35:16

DH is self employed working from homeand he works everyday including weekends and pretty much every evening. This has been for the last year. However, I am starting to think that he is taking the piss a bit - I find out he has been watching films while he is working and also if one one of his family asks him to go out etc he is suddenly able to take the day off, if I ask him he is too busy. I have mentioned it but tbh I am not going to stand there and beg so I have not made it a huge issue. He DOES work hard but I think he also uses work to escape helping out with our children. This means that 7 days a week I am left with our 4 children under 6 alone.

My sister who lives an hour or two away has invtited me to stay (we dont have a car so I wll be going on the train and staying for 3 or 4 days) taking with me either my youngest (10 months old but breastfed so needs to come) or my two youngest so also my 2 year old.

AIBU to leave him for 4 days to look after the two oldest including school runs (if I leave on thursday and come back monday) when he is supposed to be working?

ChristinedePizan Sun 05-Jun-11 08:37:37

No. Just go. He is not planning his work very well if the only thing he has time for outside of it is sleeping. I hope you have a bloody good income if he's working that many hours

Goblinchild Sun 05-Jun-11 08:39:56

Of course you should go.
I had a self-employed husband for over a decade, and I do know what you mean. You may come back and find things are not exactly how you would have done them, but unless it involves major disasters, I'd just let it go.
It will be good for him to learn that he can cope with his children, and even enjoy their company. Leave a basic list of things that really need to happen. Packed lunches, that sort of thing.
Have fun. smile

acatcalledbob Sun 05-Jun-11 08:39:59

Just go. I am heading off for 3 days this month, leaving DH with 2 yr old and 6 yr old - I know I'll come back to carnage but it will do them good.

msrisotto Sun 05-Jun-11 08:41:30

YANBU They're his kids too and he gets away with too much as it is.

Goblinchild Sun 05-Jun-11 08:42:01

' I know I'll come back to carnage'

You may come back to bizarre outfits and odd meal combinations, or a new game that you really might have preferred them not to invent. It won't harm the children.

Merle Sun 05-Jun-11 08:45:58

I think it is a good idea and you are being especially sensible by taking the two littlest - so it won't be utter chaos and he should be able to manage but equally he'll have to adjust his life.

I have this with my self-employed other half. It is a real problem when the cricket is on! Go to your sisters and have a lovely time.

Groovee Sun 05-Jun-11 08:51:57

My self employed husband is more than capable of dealing with the children and worked and did nursery/school runs while I had 6 days in NY. He adapted quite well that on my first day back, he made lunch for the 3 of them and forgot about me. Dad's are one part of parenting and it's not babysitting, it's taking care of your own children.

MumblingRagDoll Sun 05-Jun-11 08:56:51

I am self employed and work fromhome....I do the bulk ofthe childcare too. I know that have sometimes done what your DH's partly becuse as a lone worker you have no support or camaraderie and that gets very draining.

But he is wrong not to have scheduled days off...I tell my DH whenI will be nee to tell him that one weekend day at least has to be set aside.


nannyl Sun 05-Jun-11 09:58:10


second the making him make time for you and his children

AuntiePickleBottom Sun 05-Jun-11 10:10:45


the only memories of my dad when growing up is him always working, he used to work 6 days a week and on sunday used to sleep until 1-2 in the afternoon and really didn't have energy to do activities with us, unless it was on the nintendo.

squeakytoy Sun 05-Jun-11 10:21:56

If he is self employed and working from home, where are you at this time?

If you are working, where are the kids while you are at work?

Jogonjill Sun 05-Jun-11 10:25:45

I would suggest that you do this, and also book an evening class of some kind or make social arrangements so that you are out of the house a couple of evenings a week, leaving him to take over for dinner/bed/bath. He's either very bad at organising his working time, or trying to escape from the family, so you should build time out in to your routine so he has to step up, like it or not.

blackeyedsusan Sun 05-Jun-11 10:26:09

yes, as long as you think the children will be safe. (h had no concept that having the second floor lounge window open may be dangerous with a climbing toddler and preschooler... [ hmm] )

blackeyedsusan Sun 05-Jun-11 10:26:31

hmm blush

Fernie3 Sun 05-Jun-11 10:58:01

squeakytoy I am at home mostly - he has an office in the house, the rest of us spend most of our time in the playroom or out the garden. I do some work to help him - maybe 10 hours a week in the evenings mostly.

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