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young child left alone in a car

(53 Posts)
pheonix777 Sat 04-Jun-11 23:26:25

My mother in law left my 4 year old son alone in the car while she popped into a shop to get bread the other day. She did this because he was having a "strop" and would not get out. Apparently she parked right outside and only had her eyes off him for a "minute or so"

I personally find this unacceptable and think there is no excuse at any time for a child to be left unattended in a public place. Am I being unreasonable?

AgainWhen Sat 04-Jun-11 23:27:08

Yep

GypsyMoth Sat 04-Jun-11 23:28:20

oh dear....

HavePatience Sat 04-Jun-11 23:30:30

Yanbu but plenty of people will say you are, with loads of justification. But it's down to the individual.
I completely agree with you, though.

pooka Sat 04-Jun-11 23:31:02

YABU. In my opinion.

But no doubt there'll be posters talking about cars spontaneously bursting into flames and/or being nicked with child inside.

But I personally would not have a problem with this. And have been known to give dcs the choice about whether they want to stay in car or all get out when I've been nipping into, for example, the petrol station shop to buy bread or pay for fuel.

dollius Sat 04-Jun-11 23:31:04

Totally

DuelingFanjo Sat 04-Jun-11 23:33:20

house!

HalfPastWine Sat 04-Jun-11 23:35:38

It was YOUR son left in the car, so no, YANBU.

Have words with MIL so that it doesn't happen again.

MadamDeathstare Sat 04-Jun-11 23:35:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoopyLoopsBettyBoops Sat 04-Jun-11 23:46:55

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all.

ChippingIn Sat 04-Jun-11 23:48:27

Yes YABU.

DontCallMePeanut Sat 04-Jun-11 23:50:58

I'd say YANBU, although my mother would say YABU. It's a matter of choice/parenting style/age... yada yada yada. Mum used to leave me and DB in the car whilst she dashed into the butchers and florist. It's not something I'd do, mind.

AnnieLobeseder Sat 04-Jun-11 23:54:13

I guess it would depend on the area, but I have no problems leaving my 3 and 5yo DDs in the car if I'm only going into the corner shop for one thing. Same with petrol stations.

Had you expressly told her not to leave your child in the car? If so, then YANBU because he is your child, so your rules. But if not, you should understand that this is far from a black and white issue, and she may think you're totally over-reacting.

RitaMorgan Sat 04-Jun-11 23:57:51

No excuse at any time for a child to be left unattended? That sounds pretty extreme to me!

Did she lock the car? If so I can't see the problem.

sims2fan Sun 05-Jun-11 00:25:05

Personally I think I would be more cross with my son for not doing as his grandmother said.

thisisyesterday Sun 05-Jun-11 00:36:30

agree with annie... would you have been cross if she'd been to a petrol station and left him in the car while she paid?

this is no different is it?

TakeMeDrunkImHome Sun 05-Jun-11 01:09:56

I find this weird, really weird, not long ago I posted about a woman dropping her older kid off at school and leaving a 3 year old with SN and a 7 week old baby alone in the car while she did so. I was properly flamed! To the point of being told that if I was so "nosey" then I should help her with her childcare. Yet here we are now and it's all OK to leave a kid in the car! confused.com

DooinMeCleanin Sun 05-Jun-11 01:12:30

Knowing what my four year old could get upto locked in a car for a minute unsupervised, YANBU. I won't leave mine in the bathroom for fear of what she will do, let alone a car with a handbrake.

JarethTheGoblinKing Sun 05-Jun-11 01:14:55

DuellingFanjo, you beat me!

<stamps card>

OP - the car could have spontaneously combusted while your Mother was in the shop, so YANBU.

(in reality, joking aside, I can't bring myself to leave DS in the car, but that's because I have a massive anxiety disorder... so each to their own smile )

TakeMeDrunkImHome Sun 05-Jun-11 01:16:05

I have just re-read my post and it makes about as much sense as a basket full of squirrels so I will slink away and go to bed and remind myself not to pour such a large wine next time. slinking away...

JarethTheGoblinKing Sun 05-Jun-11 01:16:28

TakeMeDrunkImHome I recall that thread. IIRC you were saying that the kids were left in the car for ages so the Mum could drop her eldest at school? (correct me if I;m wrong)

squeakytoy Sun 05-Jun-11 01:20:02

I remember that thread too I think. Wasnt that a case of the mother leaving the kids in the car and wandering off round the corner into the school, so not within a few feet away from her.

It wouldnt bother me depending on the area. If it was a car with rear child locks, and not on a busy main road, and the kid was refusing to get out of the car anyway, yes, I would go into the shop.

TakeMeDrunkImHome Sun 05-Jun-11 01:21:22

Yes yes it was that very thread but I completely typed the wrong thing and brain has turned to mush (i was trying to slink away here!) blush

DooinMeCleanin Sun 05-Jun-11 01:22:31

I am in envy of all your trustworthy four year olds. Mine would have the handbrake off and the windows smashed quicker than you could shout "Runaway car!"

Julesnobrain Sun 05-Jun-11 01:34:15

I think leaving a child in a locked car while you pop into a shop ( not a petrol station) is a rite of passage to teaching them to be responsible ie mummies gaining in a shop I'm trusting you not too do blah blah.

Therefore by definition 4 is way too young. My DS is nearly 9 and I have recently started to do this but still won't do it for a big ie more than a pop! shop

Speak to your Mum, in her day you wouldn!t have thought twice nowadays we are wiser or should I say sadder!,

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